Fortune for the Day – “What’s old collapses, times change, and new life blossoms in the ruins.” – Johann Von Schiller
The bucket story from yesterday’s blog post, seemed to resonate, so I will add one more thought that really stuck with me from Dr. Christian Conte’s book about anger management. He states that as people, we are more likely to judge ourselves on our intentions and yet, we are more inclined to judge others, by their actions. So, this implies that people are judging us on our actions, because they really aren’t privy to our intentions and they may make incorrect assumptions. Just having this knowledge about how we judge ourselves and others, makes me want to maybe give others a little more of the benefit of the doubt, but to also hold myself a little more accountable for my own actions. Along these lines, I recently copied down this quote into one of my “Things to Ponder and Write About/Inspirations” notebooks. I think that the quote is from Think Smarter on Twitter, but I am honestly not certain:
“Any time you worry that someone is going to judge you, that is really you judging yourself.”
Hmmmmm. Judgment is an uncomfortable subject, so let’s bring this back to intentions. Last year I read that it is more useful to rephrase “New Year’s Resolutions”, to “New Year’s Intentions”. “Intentions” has a more positive, hopeful ring to it, than the demanding, demeaning, judg-y, foreboding tone of the word, “Resolution.” If you are having trouble coming up with New Year’s Intentions, these questions that I cut out of an article from the last issue of Spirituality & Health magazine, I thought were interesting, positive and absolutely thought-provoking:
What’s unfinished for you to give?
What’s unfinished for you to learn?
What’s unfinished for you to experience?
What are you waiting for?
Happy Friday Eve, friends.
My dad was a men’s dean in both boarding academies and colleges for some years. He told me more than once that when one of the boys came to him about another boy’s behavior, he’d, of course, check up on the one being “told on”, but he’d watch the “teller” doubly. Almost always, that boy was doing the same thing. I’ve found this applies to me personally as well. I find that things that I judge most harshly in other people I’m doing myself. It’s really annoying! It’s like I take my eyes off myself and focus on someone else’s behavior so I can “not notice” my own. It’s been a frequent source of humbling over the years.
So true, Cecille! Someone aptly told me one time, every time you point your finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you.