Driving my daughter to school this morning, Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World” came on and she and I sang it, at the top of our lungs. It felt so good. It felt so simple. It felt so right. I said to her, “I don’t know what to write about in my blog this morning, so I think that I’ll just write out the lyrics to this song.” She looked puzzled and said, “That’s it?” Like it was a cop-out. Because it kind of is.
It is a wonderful world, but it is also sometimes a painful world. It is a wonderful world, but it also sometimes a confusing world. It is a wonderful world, but it is often a complicated world and not as simple as we would like it to be.
I just binge-watched Amazon Prime’s Fleabag, both seasons, these last two days. There is a lot there to digest. The writing is superb. If you can take off your moralistic, judgment cap and get past some of the overt sexuality of the show (if you want to), there are parts of Fleabag that you will rewind and watch again and again, until the deeper meaning and feelings sink in, get under your skin and have you itching, yet fearful, to get to the source of wherever you have been touched. (there are also hilarious parts that will have you laughing until you cry, and they are fun to watch again and again, too)
There is one scene (spoiler alert) in Season 2, where Kristin Scott Thomas’ character Belinda is discussing her “Best Woman in Business” award. This is how she describes menopause:
“I’ve been longing to say this out loud. Women are born with pain built in. It’s our physical destiny – period pains, sore boobs, childbirth. We carry it within ourselves throughout our lives. Men don’t. They have to seek it out. They invent all these gods and demons so they can feel guilty about things, which is something we do very well on our own. And then they create wars so they can feel things and touch each other and when there aren’t any wars they can play rugby. We have it all going on in here, inside. We have pain on a cycle for years and years and years, and then just when you feel you are making peace with it all, what happens? The menopause comes. The fucking menopause comes and it is the most wonderful fucking thing in the world. Yes, your entire pelvic floor crumbles and you get fucking hot and no one cares, but then you’re free. No longer a slave, no longer a machine with parts. You’re just a person. In business.”
It’s a lot to be a woman. It’s wonderful. It’s also sometimes painful, confusing and complicated. When other women can put into words what the rest of us experience, I find that connection awe-striking and overwhelming. It’s one of my favorite experiences that I sometimes get with other women – that “thank you for understanding me and knowing me and feeling me, and hearing me, and making me feel less alone” in this wonderful, wonderful, world.
“And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.” – Louis Armstrong
“Come on! Buck up! Smiles! Charm! Off we go! We’ll be okay.” – Fleabag