I watched a tribute Anderson Cooper made to his recently deceased mother, Gloria Vanderbilt. It was very sweet, and very touching. Something that he said about her, really struck me. He said that Gloria was not tough, but she was the strongest person that he knew. I could relate to that statement. I am not tough, but I am strong. And I sometimes think that if you are not a tough person, people can’t imagine that you are strong. Of course, we all have “weak” moments. My sister-in-law, a helicopter pilot, and one of the first women to graduate from West Point (in other words, she’s tough and strong) had to be supported when it was time to stand at her father’s funeral, because she was extremely overcome with emotion. Yet, we often equate being emotional, as being weak. Nonetheless, we all know that it takes a whole lot of strength to really feel and accept and allow your emotions. My guess is that some of us are tough and some of us are not tough. Toughness is a personality trait born out of circumstance and adrenaline and physical strength, many times. However, I think most of us are strong – very strong, much stronger than we realize.
Winnie the Pooh always gets it right. 🙂 And all Winnie’s should have a lil Piglet holding his hand. Together they are a force to be reckoned with.
I am an emotional wreck most of the time. I cry a lot. But three years ago when I had to call 911 because my husband collapsed on the kitchen floor I was calm, gave all the information, repeated it & even kept my cool when asked for a third time. I argued with the Sheriff (being very brave) that I could follow them to the hospital but he said I needed to call someone. So the neighbor was there for me. We got there, my sister showed up and four minutes later I received the news he didn’t make it. I went in, kissed his forehead, said I loved him and told him to stop at the Rainbow Bridge to get ArrBee, our dachshund who adored Kevin. Then I walked out and sat for a few moments, waving off a priest who was willing to listen to me. I had nothing to say but thanked him and said I just wanted to go home. I made it to the car, we made it to the street and I gasped. I was no longer tough, no longer brave. Everyone said I was in shock. Oh, so THAT is what it is called. I thought I was being strong. (sorry this was a long comment.)
Please don’t apologize. Thank you for sharing that with us, Sandi. I am so sorry for your scary and sudden, heartbreaking loss. I think that surviving that kind of instant bereavement is VERY strong, no matter what your reaction is to it. Sending a virtual heartfelt hug.
Our definition of “strong” has been based on physical prowess for several centuries… im glad to see it expanded in this diversity driven age. We are becoming more enlightened again
I so agree, Sandra! In the words of the group, Chicago, “Feelin’ stronger everyday!” It has nothing to do with lifting weights!
I am strong; I am not tough.
I am not soft and gentle; I am kind, I am generous.
I am intelligent and resourceful; I am not street smart.
I am not a doormat; I am considerate and thoughtful.
My life’s purpose is to serve, but I don’t do it professionally. I do it a million different ways, for strangers and for those I love. Sometimes it’s obvious, but mostly it’s not. I spread stealth love through small acts of kindness.
I LOVE this comment, Kelly and I love your kind of Strength!!!
Thank you. This weekend I’ve been reflecting on who I am and how I define myself. My father in law passed away unexpectedly on Saturday, and I’ve been his caregiver for the past 18 months. Suddenly that job is now done, and I’m facing a new reality. My son is grown, my elderly charge is now gone, even my dog died a month ago. Aside from my husband, I literally have NO RESPONSIBILITIES to anyone other than myself. I can’t recall that ever happening before. But instead of being sad or fearful, I’m looking at an endless vista of possibility. As a writer, my job is completely portable, so it goes wherever I go. That is a unique opportunity that most people don’t have, and I’m just contemplating how to make the most of it.
Your topics seem to be especially timely for me right now. Hope you won’t get tired of me commenting!
I love your comments, Kelly. Keep ’em coming! I’m so sorry for your loss, yet I am excited for you and your freedom and the wide open possibilities that you have before you!