****Happy Birthday, G! My second eldest son is 21 today. It doesn’t seem possible. He is such an amazing guy. I’m so proud to call him my son.
Why do I feel such a desperate need to get back to “normal” after vacation? It seems like, in my mind, that things were perfectly orderly before we left, even though they weren’t. I am in a frenzy right now trying to get everything checked off of my list. Laundry. Grocery shopping. Returns. Appointments made. Bills. Paperwork. Cleaning. Pedicure.
I told myself that I would bring some of that fresh mountain peace back with me, but that was short-lived. I purchased a Native American CD when I was away and I played it on my way to taking my daughter to tennis and while I ran other errands. Even with the peaceful drumming and quiet flutes, I found myself tensing in traffic and grumbling at being stuck in lines.
I have zero phone access right now. I fell off of my fly fishing boat (long, funny story for another blog) and my ultra-amazing water proof cell phone, wasn’t so water proof. My home phone service stopped working about three days after the cable guy spent a day at our home. Not having phone service probably should make me feel peaceful, uninterrupted and un-distracted, but instead I feel antsy and irritable. And I feel frustrated that I feel this way. Phone-less could be such a freeing, natural way to live. The Universe is probably trying to teach me something, but I stubbornly seem to want to fight the lesson.
I am writing this on my blog today, in hopes that I am not alone. If anything, I hope that my honesty will give relief to others who might feel the same way. I wish that I could write that being out in untouched, beautiful nature for a week, awoke my inner zen and I am now unflappably calm and peaceful. That didn’t happen. But at least now I have the self-awareness to notice this fact. I suppose that is a step in the right direction.