May 2019 - Page 2 of 4 - Adulting: Second- Half

That’s My Story

I think that my stuff has reproductive capabilities – especially my shoes, clothes, handbags and accessories. And I think that my stuff is particularly horny and rabbit-like. Our new closet shelving gets installed in the next couple of days, but in the meantime, my stuff is spread all over the house creating a thickening, sickening, stifling layer on every surface that we own. It feels like we are being overtaken by The Blob.

Our piano, I believe, is still somewhere under the pile of shoes. We haven’t heard from it in a while. (honestly, we haven’t heard from our piano in a long while, since even before it was covered with shoes, but that’s for a whole different blog) Our dining room table is probably buckled under the weight of handbags and blouses. I don’t know. I haven’t seen it in about a month. I am truly shocked that a fire hasn’t started, because the stuff is piled so high, on top of the table, that the top layer is melted on to the chandelier.

I’m honestly not a hoarder. I give a lot to Goodwill and to the veterans. I have the tax receipts to prove it. I don’t get particularly sentimental about most of my things. I totally buy into the whole Marie Kondo (famous Japanese organization guru) idea that if something doesn’t “spark joy” in you anymore it is time to pass it on to someone who might find some sparkle of joy, by owning it. That’s why I think that my things are breeding and propagating. That is where all of the accumulation is coming from, I believe.

Now my husband would probably chime in here and say that if my theory is true, my things’ method of propagation is assisted by my shopping habits. He would say that their fertilization is highly assisted. I couldn’t argue that point, in good faith. So right now, I want to force myself to simmer in this feeling of suffocation and claustrophobia, in order to keep my future shopping habits in check.

We aren’t one of those families who has lived in the same house for 25 years. No, we have actually gone through 4-5 major moves and more than one major renovation. These have been good, solid cleansing opportunities that we have taken full advantage of, over the years. That is why I am truly shocked that we still have SO MUCH STUFF. That is why I believe that my stuff has reproductive capabilities. And that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

Morning People

“The hardest part about mornings is encountering morning people.” – someecards

Apparently, New Mexico and New Hampshire have more self-reported “morning people” than any other states. Also, people over the age of 60 are much more likely to identify as “morning people” than younger people. There have been studies done that suggest that whether you are night owl or a morning person, might have a lot to do with your genes that are tied to circadian rhythms. Don’t ask me to go into detail with this explanation – I am not a morning person. And I don’t even come close to being a morning person on Monday mornings.

Image result for funny quotes about morning people

A Phone Call

My friend told me the other day that my blog reminds her of a morning call with a friend. I love that! So today, I am going to write my blog with a phone call dialog:

Me: Hello! Good Morning!

You (my friends): Oh wow, you called me kind of early on a Sunday morning. But hey, how goes it?

Me: My daughter and I went to Costco yesterday, but before that, we went to PetSmart and bought a couple of little fish for my pond and then we realized we couldn’t keep them in the car safely. I didn’t want to find some boiled fish when we got back to the car, so we had to walk around Costco with a bag of fish.

You: You walked around Costco with a bag of fish? What did people say?

Me: It was actually pretty funny. You would think that only dogs, or maybe carrying around a baby kitten or a bunny, would get you some attention, but we got a fair amount of comments about the fish.

You: I bet you did.

Me: Yeah, we started calling them our “emotional support fish.” Can you imagine fish with little vests on?

You: They’d be more like lifejackets.

Me: Hahahaha! I told people that the fish had separation anxiety, so we couldn’t leave them at home.

You: Speaking of pets, how are the pups?

Me: Oh, they’re great! Today is their birthday. Our dogs have the same birthday. Do you believe it? Ralphie, our lab, is two today and Josie, the collie, is one. My daughter made sure that we put “birthday bandannas” on them. They seemed pretty excited, but they’re excited every day. Dogs act like every day is their birthday. I want to be like that . . . .

You: Yeah, for sure. Are you psyched for the final episode of Game of Thrones??

Me: Is grass green? It’s going to be bittersweet though. GOT was always so much fun to look forward to and I haven’t found a series that I have liked nearly as much as I like it. I think all of the fuss about changing the ending, is more about people grieving that the show is actually over now.

You: Oh, so you like this last season? Do you think it is good?

Me: I feel kind of neutral about it. I don’t think it is the best season of GOT, but it isn’t terrible. I think with the long break, everyone’s anticipation was just on over-drive. Nothing could ever measure up to the expectations, I think.

You: So true.

Me: I have this sign in our powder room that says “happiness is a journey, not a destination”. I think everyone is just sad that the journey with GOT is over, you know? By trying to get a new ending, they are just trying to keep the journey going. Like my son is graduating from high school this week, and the graduation ceremony, and the celebrations and dinners and parties will all be fun, but the real story, the real adventure, the real meaning, was all of the years of his primary schooling. . . . all of those years of transformation from being a little boy, to becoming a capable young man. Do you know what I mean?

You: Absolutely! You know what? This conversation reminds me of your blog.

Me: Yeah, you’re right, there is something there, to write about it. It’s like we are always racing towards the finish line in everything we do. “I can’t wait for school to be over or to be done raising kids or to win some kind of award or medal”, but the finish line is sometimes a “mwah-mwah” because it is usually at that end moment, that you realize, you were actually really enjoying “the process” of whatever you were doing. You are not sure you are ready to let go of that journey just yet. It is usually at those final moments that a light bulb goes off and you think, it was never about the ending/finish line/gold medal, after all. It was really about everything that it took to get to the end. “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”

You: Okay, you’re getting deep. I gotta go. Go write your blog.

Me: Thank you. I love you! Bye for now.

Solid as a Rock

My husband is visiting his best friends from college this weekend. I met all of these guys, including my husband, when I was eighteen years old. This middle stage of life is full of so much change – our elders are becoming more fragile, our kids are gaining independence at warp speed, and the wrinkles on my face are unfortunately appearing at warp speed, too. Yet, certain things, the most important things, don’t change at all. In fact these things, that stand taller and become more obvious beacons than ever, are the steadying rocks, in this big, swirling sea of change. The things that don’t change are the feelings that we have for each other and the memories that we share.

My husband’s best friend is the salt-of-the-earth. Everyone who meets him, loves him. He loves kids, he loves his friends, he loves animals, and he loves his wife, and he loves his family. This man loves life. He has been a firefighter since we were in college. He fought the fires that raged on the Pentagon on 9/11. This man was the best man in our wedding, but before my husband and I got to that step in our relationship, I got more than one lecture from my husband’s best friend that I had better be kind and take care of his “meatball.” (my husband) When I first met my husband’s best friend’s extended family – a large, raucous, always laughing, always smiling, always joking, always having each others’ back, Irish family, I knew, in an instant, that I wanted to have a family just like theirs.

Last night, my husband texted me a picture of him, with his best friend and his best friend’s wife, all encircled in a big embrace. The picture screams, LOVE. And it warms my heart to no end, to know, that in this big, sometimes overwhelming stream of constant transition and change, the solid rocks remain steady. And they always will.

The 1 Percent

Ha! I’m a mother and I still LOVE Fridays!!! Happy “Favorite Things Friday”!!! New readers, we keep it on the surface here at Adulting- Second Half, on Fridays. On Fridays, I typically list at least three favorite anythings (books, websites, jewelry, food, make-up, etc. etc.) that make my life sing. I always encourage my readers to share your favorites in my Comments section. Please check out my previous Friday posts for more favorites.

So spring time is here! The birds and the bees are a-buzz! Here in Florida, the gators are really loud, around this time of year. In the evening and early mornings, around the ponds and the lakes, you can hear all sorts of love languages going on. In case you have spring fever, too, I have decided to list my favorite “sexy songs” this Friday. These songs are a great way to bring the weekend in, and rev things up. Now these aren’t my favorite romantic love songs. That’s a different list. This list is the “Sexy List” that the alligators in my backyard have been listening to and I suspect that we are going to be seeing a lot of baby gators popping up in the lake, this summer. Mmmm-hmmm. In no specific order, and read in my very best Barry White voice:

Turn Me On – Norah Jones

Sex on Fire – Kings of Leon

Sexual Healing – Marvin Gaye

Talking Body – Tove Lo

Shake You Down – Gregory Abbott

Hands to Myself – Selena Gomez

Mustang Sally – Wilson Pickett

Afternoon Delight – Starland Vocal Band

Do That To Me One More Time – Captain & Tenille

Want to Want Me – Jason Derulo

So Far Away – Dire Straits

And as cheesy as they both are, these are my two personal favorites:

Son of a Preacher Man – Dusty Springfield

Like a Wrecking Ball – Eric Church

Now, go make your play list and have a great weekend!!! Be careful and you’re welcome.

The Greatest Gift

I have felt physically lousy most of the week. My whole body ached, from my feet to my teeth. I felt tired and sick to my stomach. So, of course, I went to the doctor. . . . . Dr. Google. From the symptom checker application, it seemed that I had a “fair chance” of having a psychosomatic illness, all of the way up to terminal cancer. It was a big range of possibilities.

I had an uncle whose every toast was “To Good Health.” I already knew what the toast would be before it came out of his mouth. In my younger years, I would think to myself, “Oh, brother, can you be a little more creative? What about your family? What about love and beauty and poetry?” Now, though, I have a true appreciation of that toast. Love and beauty and poetry, and even your family, are difficult things to appreciate when you feel like sh*t. Health is pretty important.

I feel A LOT better today. There was a “fair chance” that my body was fighting a short-lived virus, and it needed some time and rest, to fight it all off. Of course, that extra gut shot (a horrible tasting, ridiculously high priced, beet juice full of probiotics) and a little bit of estrogen cream rubbed on my thigh, probably made sure that most of my bases were covered. (My son who wants to be a doctor, I am sure, just rolled his eyes. I am good practice for what to expect from his worst future patients.)

Anyway, it feels great to feel great. Those days that you don’t feel so hot, really make you appreciate your health, all of the more. On the way home from dropping my daughter at school this morning, I turned the music up loud. I was listening to a “throwback station” (my new jam) and “Take Me On”, by A-ha was playing. It sounded so good. I even drove around my neighborhood to hear the whole song. It was like I was in a 1980s time capsule. Life is good.

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Natural Cycles

“Parenting: the days are long but the years are short.” – Anonymous

The school year is wrapping up for our youngest two children, the two who are still at home. My youngest son graduates from high school next week. We are all ready for summer. We are weary. The crescendo, that ends every school year, is in full force, with awards ceremonies, and with AP and final exams. Our renovation project is finally near close. I can hear my body, making louder what it has been whispering to me the last week or so, “Time to rest. We need rest. Rest.”

I have been living the natural rhythm of parenting and the constant cycles that go with raising children for the last 23 years. I wonder if my body will naturally stay with this cycle for a while to come, even when our last little birdie spreads her wings and flies away, in just a few short years. I wonder what part of you figures it out first, that you now have an empty nest and a new cycle of life; that your cadence will shift? Is it your mind or your body or is it your spirit?

“The success of love is in the loving – it is not the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done. ” – Mother Teresa

Landslide

I just finished reading Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid. It is an interesting, easy to devour, fictional account of the rising up and falling out of a rock-n-roll band. It is loosely based on Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac. So, of course, after I finished the book, I ended up reading all about Nicks and the other band members of Fleetwood Mac. This brought up a recent memory.

A few months ago, my best friends from college (shout out to the Bubble!) and I were in Nashville, on a girls’ trip. We ended up being front row, fast fans of an amazing, mesmerizing, unfairly gorgeous and talented yet easy to love, girl band from Australia. (Shout out, Dozzi!) Dozzi did this amazing cover of “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac. And there was no one in that bar over the age of 40, who was even close to being dry-eyed, as we sang-shouted the lyrics, along with Dozzi.

I have always liked Fleetwood Mac and of course, “Landslide” has always been one of my favorite songs of theirs. (I recently read that no one will ever change the radio station when Stevie Nicks is singing – her voice is that distinctive, emotional and mesmerizing.) However, “Landslide” has taken on a whole new meaning and brings me to a whole new level of emotion, since I have reached this middle age time of my life, with my kids moving on to their adult lives. Stevie Nicks said that she wrote “Landslide” at a time of her life when she was really contemplating her next big moves in life. She was really thinking that she may have to go in a whole new direction with her career, her love life, everything. Stevie was staying with friends at a home in Colorado, at the time that she wrote the lyrics, and she said that the outside mountains looked so peaceful, but at the same time she understood how quickly, an avalanche could happen and change everything. It is such a testament to a singer/songwriter’s talent when they can evoke all of the emotions that erupt during big change periods in people’s lives and encapsulate it all in one song, a song which almost everyone can relate to and understand. At the very least . . . . “Landslide” is a good one!

Landslide Lyrics:

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
‘Til the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
MmmWell, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m gettin’ older, too

Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m gettin’ older, too
I’m gettin’ older, too

Ah, take my love, take it down
Oh, climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down
Oh, the landslide will bring it down

Castles in the Sky

I don’t believe that I have ADD (I have never been diagnosed with it), but I think on Mondays, I get as close as I can, to emphasizing with those who suffer from that condition. Here are the list of symptoms:

Trouble paying attention (easily sidetracked)
Doesn’t like or avoids long mental tasks
Trouble staying on task during school, at home, or even at play
Disorganized and seems forgetful
Doesn’t appear to listen when directly spoken to
Doesn’t pay close attention to details
Loses things often
Makes careless mistakes
Struggles to follow through with instructions

This definitely sounds like me, on just about every Monday of my life. This Monday, this list is particularly pronounced, because the contents of my bedroom are piled up all around me and all around my house, as painters are turning my bedroom into a new, soothing color, to calm my nerves. (nerves, that at this point, are so frazzled and hopped up on a coffee buzz, that tiny sparks, emanating from my nerves, are burning little bitty holes into my shirt) Maybe all of my Monday issues will disappear as I wake up to a fresh, new, soothing, subtle, light blue hue of hope. Maybe a new coat of paint is all that it will take, to turn my Mondays around and transform them into well-oiled machines of vision, drive and productivity.

“Even castles in the sky can do with a fresh coat of paint.” -Haruki Murakami

With All of My Heart

Happy Mother’s Day!!!

To My Children:

Thank you for coming into my life. You are gifts sent directly from Heaven. I am in awe of each of you. I swell with pride and beam, inside and out, when I think of you. My heart could not hold more love than what I feel for you. I truly think that you got the best parts of both me and your father, and then most importantly, your own individual sparks and special qualities that are unique, only to each of “you”. I am so grateful for everyone and everything that has helped you to evolve to being the precious people who you are today, and who you are evolving to be tomorrow. Every day that I see you or I converse with you or I even just think of you, I feel blessed beyond measure. Being your mother has been one of my biggest privileges of my life and the most growing, expansive experience that I think I will ever have in my life. You are amazing and you are very much loved.

With all of my heart,

Mom