Not So Hot

I hate the “bait and switch” game. The other day I went to a food market that I don’t usually go to and I purchased a container of Hot Curry Peanuts. “Hot” was written in a fiery red font with flames surrounding the word, serving as both a warning and an enticement to those like me, who love spicy food. I excitedly put the first couple peanuts in my mouth with the delicious anticipation of wondering just how “hot” these peanuts were going to be. I was hoping that they were right at the level to clear out my sinuses, but not too hot to burn my tongue. I was almost giddy in my excitement of possibly landing on a new favorite snack. So, when I took my first bite, unfortunately all that I could taste at first was a little bit of sugar and curry and of course, the familiar taste of peanuts. I thought, maybe it’s like those gobstoppers my kids used to get that started out sweet but then on a dime, turned to such bitter taste of sour that their cheeks would suck in and saliva would start flowing out of their mouths mixed with the color of the candy. But nothing changed. I thought, “Wow, maybe I just didn’t get peanuts with enough coating on them.” So, I put a handful more of the peanuts in my mouth and waited. Nothing. Nada. More of the same. False advertising.

Another time that this happens frequently to me is when I get sucked in by movie trailers. The trailer is so funny, I anticipate a night of trying to contain myself in my theater seat from laughing so hard, only to leave the theater, bawling, with my eyeliner streaking down my cheeks, because I just witnessed the saddest, most heart-wrenching movie of my life. It could even be a good, sad movie, but that is not what I paid for when I witnessed the trailer! I wanted lightness! I wanted to laugh until my sides hurt! Unfortunately, in those circumstances, the only funny scenes in the whole movie were shown in the two minute trailer. No warning was included to bring a box of tissues.

Don’t get me started on advertised sales. You see the giant, glowing orange “75% off!!” sign in the store window. It is not until you have parked the car and ran to the front of the store to go inside that you notice the other part of the sign. The tiny, barely legible letters “up to” dancing on top of the “75”.

If we really want to get dark about the misleading things in life, consider this quote by John Maynard Keynes, the famous British economist:

“Long run is a misleading guide to current affairs. In the long run we are all dead.”

Yikes! I never knew that I could get this sour over a silly little box of peanuts. I guess I’ve mislead myself that I am a more “happy-go-lucky” person than I really am. It’s just that I am a big proponent of the “under-promise/over-deliver” philosophy of business and life.

“Emotions can certainly be misleading: they can fool you into believing stuff that is definitely, demonstrably untrue.” – Francis Spufford