The Triad

In the beginning of the year, I spend a lot of time reflecting on the balance of my life. I want to keep the triad – mind, body, spirit, all in good form, working together, no form of favoritism to one point of the triangle, that only serves to throw my whole unit off of balance. When you get to the second half of adulting, you certainly want to continue to grow, but you also want to make sure that you are maintaining everything that you have worked so hard to learn and to achieve and to treasure. Maintenance is so important. We see that obvious fact in our cars and in our homes and in our investment accounts, but sometimes we don’t apply it to ourselves.

No one looks at an elite athlete, a totally fit person at the gym and goes, “Why are they still here? They look great! They’ve got the perfect body. Time to move on.” No, it’s perfectly understood that the athlete has not only worked hard to achieve their current physique and endurance at the gym, but also, she or he must work very hard to maintain that level of physical prowess. That athlete probably spends more time at the gym than anyone, and no one blinks an eye. No one looks at a scientist, working late into the night, researching in a laboratory and says, “Why are they still in the lab? They’re already smart and knowledgeable enough. They’ve already earned their Ph.D. Time to shut the books.” No, most everyone accepts that scientists are always looking for ways to improve their thinking and problem solving, and always working on new discoveries to keep their minds and proficiency sharp. However, when it comes to “spirit” or our emotional side, why is there often the assumption that something is wrong with the person who regularly maintains their sanity and peaceful way of being, through therapy, or self-help or AA groups or a strong dedication to their religious practices, etc.? Often on the “spirit” side of things, we seem to have the idea that whatever is going on emotionally or spiritually within us, we need to “fix it and move on and quickly.” People puzzle over the regularly attending AA member who started as a teenager and hasn’t had a drink in 30 years, or are convinced someone they know is being brainwashed and controlled or trying to “fill a hole” because they attend many church or temple services throughout the week. People feel like they have to hide the fact that they take anti-depressants or ADD medication, or else be judged and discriminated against. Even a lot of health insurance companies often limit the amount of times someone can visit a therapist and have the therapy still be covered. But just as we must constantly work on the health of our bodies and the acuity of our minds, mustn’t we always be maintaining the nurturing of our spirits?

I think that is why “mental health awareness” has become such a hot topic these days. People applaud the overweight person who joins Weight Watchers and starts exercising regularly. No one denies the importance of an education and constantly learning new things. Graduation ceremonies are often “standing room only.” So I think we have to put that same kind of focus and understanding and acceptance of the importance of maintaining emotional health and sanity. Why is it wrong or “weak” to have healthy, peaceful practices that help get us and keep us “on track”? It is usually the strongest people who admit that they need help. If we don’t start socially supporting and applauding and accepting the healthy practices people do to stay on an emotional even keel, I believe that we will only continue to see the rise of addiction and suicide and school shootings and terrorism, etc. On an individual basis, we inherently understand the importance of a balanced state of being, so why can’t we reflect that on a societal basis? I’m hoping that this is our next major shift into a more enlightened state of being. I see that as a better future for my children and my future grandchildren. And in this second half of adulting, nothing is more important to me, than their future.