Today I’m going to see people I haven’t seen in a very long time. This includes adults and children. The “children” are now teenagers who will tower over me and I’ll say the same dumb thing that was always said to me by middle-aged people when I was their age, “Oh my goodness! The last time I saw you, you were only this big!” I’ll put my hand at some arbitrary spot near to my waist and they will smile at me awkwardly, silently wondering how the hell they are supposed to respond to that statement.
The other adults and I will politely tell each other the opposite statement. “Oh my goodness! You haven’t changed one bit!” We all know that’s a lie. Someone recently told me that aging is like a toilet paper roll, the closer you get to the end of it, the faster it goes. That is the truth. Still, it will feel good to hug each other and know that even though we all have aged, the familiar essence of the core people we care about, is still nestled into those slightly older, worn for the wear packages, showing that we all have experienced all sorts of life, since we have seen each other last.
I’m expecting the kids to be the most changed, of course. I’m really curious to talk to them individually. When kids are little, you kind of lump them into a group and they like it that way; they are “the kids”. At gatherings, kids would much prefer to be in little bands of their own company versus awkwardly staring at the adults leering down at them, comparing that particular child’s growth chart movement from the previous year. My husband even noted recently that for years, he saw our four children, as more of one entity, “the kids.” Now that our children are spreading out in all different directions, it’s easier to see their individuality and their unique qualities and tastes, more than it ever was before.
As for the adults, even though I haven’t see them in forever, I can already predict their actions, what they’ll say, and how they’ll laugh. I am expecting these peoples’ certain idiosyncrasies to remind me of our shared history and familiarity. Undoubtedly, they’ll be expecting my predictable behaviors, as well. Sometimes, I wonder if this is really a fair way to approach it, though. All parties involved, adults and children have gone through quite a bit of experience since we have seen each other last. These experiences will certainly have molded and molted all of us, young and old.
Years ago, I copied this quote by Azar Nafisi, out of one of my son’s yearbooks. It is a good one:
“You get a strange feeling when you are about to leave a place. You will not only miss the people you love, but you will miss the person you are now, at this time and this place, because you will never be this way ever again. But you are excited for the person you are swimming towards and look forward to the new you that awaits in the distance.”
It doesn’t matter, whatever the age we are, all of us are always swimming towards new versions of ourselves. This will happen always, while we are still alive and breathing. Perhaps I should approach the adults just as I plan to do with the kids, with wide-eyed curiosity, of who they are today and what effects their experiences have had on the persons they are still becoming. Hopefully, they will approach me in the same way and it will be like getting to know new people, but with that familiar comfort of shared experiences long ago.