I have been reading about a life management theory called The Four Burner Theory. In this theory, each broad element/major category of our lives is divided into the four major headings shown above, like four burners on a stove. The theory states that in order to be truly masterful, and to absolutely shine in any one particular category in life, you must shut off at least one of the other categories, and most likely, you will need to shut off two of the categories, for maximum results. If you wish to lead a balanced life, you must come to terms with, at best, being above average in each category, keeping each area of attention, at a medium heat and at a roughly equal shared level of focus. When I first read this theory, I found it to be a little bit disheartening, but at almost 50 years of life, I also see it to be true.
A decade ago, my husband was working for a gigantic corporation and he was talking to one of the higher ups (an older man extremely high up the ladder of a very large corporation). He asked the man how he had managed to balance it all. “I didn’t,” he said, being totally frank and honest. The man was on his third marriage and had a lukewarm relationship with his children.
It is interesting to me, to see how important it is to my sons, at this stage of college and at the beginning of their careers, to find a “work/life balance” while approaching their career goals. I don’t even remember that phrase being in existence when I was in college, but it makes me happy to see that it is a major consideration for the generations coming up behind us. If you aren’t conscious as to where all of your time and energy is going, life can pass you by, before you’ve even considered your priorities, and what you want out of this experience which we call Life.
It was also heartening for me to realize that at different stages of your life, you can choose to put a different burner on high heat, and pour your focus into what is cooking in a different pot, a pot you never really focused on previously. My Family burner was on high heat for most of my adult life. While I’ll never choose to shut that burner entirely off, I now have more time to focus on my Work burner (writing), as my Family is now more self sufficient than ever.
Finally, I think this theory is a good one to have in the back of my mind, because it clear to me, from my life’s experiences, that if you try to keep all four burners at high heat for any extended amount of time, a short is bound to happen. Then, you’ll be lucky to have any burners going at all. At that time, if you are lucky, you will only have one burner to focus on, and that one is Health, and there will be no choice in the matter, as to where you have to put all of your concentration.
