Whimsies for Wednesday

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(credit Rex Masters – Twitter)

+ My daughter has a summer internship at a local credit union. She came home with a stomach bug Monday night. She’s fine now, thankfully. In fact, she’s back to work today, but we were all kind of surprised by her illness. If there was any upside to this pandemic mess, it was that none of us, living and working at our house, came down with flus or colds or any other viruses for over a year. They say that paper money carries a lot of filth on it. I believe it. She’s only been working there a couple of weeks now.

+ I read an article that was talking about why it is so hard for many of us to figure out our purpose(s) in life. The article, taken from an excerpt from a book by Kristine Klussman, says that we get tripped up by three erroneous beliefs about “purpose.” The first mistake, is that we think that our purpose has to be grand and noble and all-reaching. The facts are, we don’t all have to be (nor are we going to be) Gandi, or Martin Luther King Jr., or Florence Nightingale. It’s all of the gazillions of parts that make a whole. Just being and doing our own little gazillionth, is enough and serves its purpose. Secondly, we have the false belief that we just have one singular purpose. Anyone of us, who is a parent, knows that this premise is false. My purpose in parenting has been to raise healthy, happy, productive members of society. My purpose in parenting has been to experience a love like I have never known. My purpose in parenting has been to continue and to carry on the good parts of my heritage, and to heal and to change the parts of my heritage that I found to be harmful. (Right there, I have listed three purposes in my life, and that’s just under the subset of “parenting”.) Finally, we think that our purposes have to be “forever.” Why? If the only constant is change, and we are all evolving in an ever-evolving world, does it not make sense that we will have different purposes in different stages of our lives? There is some real satisfaction in working through a project, or an experience, or a career, and being able to say, “My work is done here.” This feeling of completion allows us to open doors to other purposes in our lives, as we go on. Variety is the spice of life.

+ We all are so good at writing to-do lists. I read something this week that said to end your day with a “ta-da! list”, which lists everything that you got done, during the day. Even if it is just doing a load of laundry, and cleaning some dishes, you did these chores! You didn’t have to do anything. You could have just been a “bump on a log.” Ta Da! You got things done. What a great way to end your day on a positive note.

+ Finally, here’s a perspective changer. The universe is almost 13.8 billion years old. Any of us will be lucky to reach 100 years of age. We humans are not very old, and frankly, in the scheme of things, we are not all that important. I think that Anthony Hopkins gets it right, in the opening meme. Just live your life’s experience. That’s your own real purpose. Your life is fleeting. Your life is fragile. Your life is short. Ta Da! You’re here. Put this on your “to do” list today, in Sharpie and in all caps: 1. LIVE AND LOVE. And tonight, when you are going over your “ta da!” list, smile in peace and contentedness, that you did it. You LIVED AND you LOVED.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Partial List

A Partial List of Random Things That I Love:

  • Remembering something that you were looking forward to (like a book release or a TV series drop or something that you had ordered) that you had temporarily forgotten about and getting excited about it all over again.
  • A really, good smooth writing pen – extra bonus if it was a free pen given away at a really cool place or at a memorable event.
  • A really thick, intriguing looking magazine.
  • Unscheduled days full of whimsy.
  • Serendipity.
  • Stories told by little kids, and watching their minds and imaginations churning, as they continue to embellish their stories.
  • Witnessing random acts of kindness.
  • Feeling the sweet relaxation of total surrender.
  • Hitting every green light.
  • My dog, Josie, “helping” me make my bed.
  • Twix bars.
  • The magic, transformative power of sunglasses. (you get a different attitude with every pair, trust me on this)
  • Total trust in your hair stylist.
  • Trick-or-treaters, particularly the ones who really take their costume to a whole new level and “become” the character they are dressed up to be.
  • Rain cancellations that you were secretly hoping for.
  • Laugh lines next to kind eyes.
  • The rare nights that all six members of my family are sleeping peacefully under one roof.
  • Almost all Italian food.
  • Feeling like my digestive system is actually working efficiently and correctly.
  • People who take their jobs seriously.
  • People who dare to start new things, like clubs and companies and events.
  • Guest stars on Saturday Night Live who really give it “their all.”

These are just a few things to came to my mind in less than ten minutes. I dare you to do your own list today. You’ll be amazed at every little thing that holds meaning and happiness for you! Maybe if we were required to come up with one of these love lists with every to-do list that we write, the stuff on the to-do list wouldn’t seem so daunting or banal or meaningless. The love list is more fun to come up with, that’s for sure.

“There are three kinds of people in this world: 1) People who make lists, 2) People who don’t make lists, and 3) People who carve tiny Nativity scenes out of pecan hulls. I’m sorry, there isn’t really a third category; it’s just that a workable list needs a minimum of three items, I feel.” – Mary Roach

Not So Dull

When you have a rough start to your week, when everything feels a little bit off the track, getting back to the mundane, “dull” routine, feels wonderful. Laundry, sorting mail, dusting shelves, watering plants, driving to tennis lessons, walking the dogs, planning meals – all of these things are actually a delicious relief and activities to look forward to doing and to completing. When I am emotional, I tend to want to chuck it all, bring it all back to ground zero, quitting everything extraneous and just cling to the basic necessities. That says something about the “necessities” right? Despite considering myself a spontaneous person, I love the structure of my life. I love to scratch things off of my to-do list. Perhaps that is the main point of life’s little emergencies. Perhaps they are nothing more than reminders that the ordinary days are not as banal, and meaningless and non-stimulating as they feel sometimes.

I’ve mentioned before that my new TV addiction is Outlander. In almost every episode, the major characters face huge, yet unique “life versus death” obstacles, suffer major injustices and devastating losses; they go through and yet prevail from serious abuses of power, and at the end of it all, they still manage to look gorgeous and to celebrate with a delicious romp in the bed with each other, making all the right moves and saying all the right words to each other, after experiencing more troubles in just one episode, than anyone in real life, can expect to face in one lifetime. Why do I like the show so much? You would think it would bring up serious questions of my inadequacy. Or maybe getting lost in the fantasy of it all is part of my delicious, conventional, everyday routine? I’m not sure. But for the rest of this week, I am sure that vicarious thrills are quite enough.

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