“The enemy is not a person. The enemy is a mindset.” – Daniel Lubetzky (founder of KIND bars)
I have always said that conflicts and wars are never going to cease, until people start looking at things in different ways. Beliefs are entrenched in us from childhood on. We live our lives based on our beliefs, but rarely do we examine our beliefs. Usually, we subconsciously act in ways that will enforce our beliefs. We live in places and we mostly interact with people who normalize our own beliefs. We are often scared to examine our beliefs for fear that we might have been mistaken, or that our beliefs are just conditioned from other people’s beliefs, and these beliefs aren’t actually our own, at our deepest cores. And then where does that leave us without the current framework of our entrenched beliefs?
I’ve written before about the time period in my early forties, when the life of our family “blew up.” We were “the poster kids” for the Great Recession. For years, we had gone along in our lives, in one entrenched way, and I honestly had convinced myself that it would not have been possible to take another direction, even if we wanted to change things up. I believed that we were “stuck” in one town, in one underwater house, in one stressful way of life, with very few options. And then the Universe forced our hands, and all of the sudden there were many options, which we didn’t even realize were available possibilities. We ended up here in Florida, in a better living situation, in every facet of our lives.
A wise friend of mine recently told me that before she makes major decisions or changes in her life, she opens up the proverbial file cabinet in her mind, and explores her beliefs about the situation in a detached manner. She writes them down and really explores if these old beliefs are actually true and make sense for the situation. She then writes down new beliefs that could be truer to her needs and her wants in the present time. My friend doesn’t beat herself up for beliefs that may have limited her in the past. She moves forward with a healthier, more open, more considered mindset.
What do you feel absolutely sure about but wish that you didn’t feel sure about it? Usually these are negative beliefs about health, finances, world problems, politics, relationships, your career, where you live etc. Open up that file folder in your mind, and really explore this belief. Byron Katie devised what she calls “The Work.” Use these four questions as a template to explore your beliefs. You may be shocked with the insights you glean about beliefs that you have been carrying with you for a really long time.
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
- How do you react when you believe that thought?
- Who would you be without the thought?
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
2796. What excuse do you tell yourself far too often?