Tag: taylor swift

Thursday’s Thoughts

+ The world’s annual happiness reports came out recently and for the first time the United States did not make the top 20. The nordic countries always seem to be at the top of the list. I’ve only been to one nordic country, and it was Iceland. Iceland is easily the most peaceful place that I have ever been in my lifetime. I kept commenting on it, during our time there. It was so quiet, serene, and beautiful. I felt so safe and at ease while I was there. Maybe our country is too addicted to drama. I don’t know. I just hope, as a whole, we can start clearing the path to the things which really universally matter to the majority of all beings.

+ I spent some time this morning looking at what Elon Musk’s Neuralink was able to do for a quadriplegic man in just its preliminary stages. And I just saw a headline about a pig kidney transplant being successful in a patient for the first time. I really do believe that we are on the cusp of a whole new world, in so many ways. I have that feeling in my stomach that you get before a big move or a big trip or a big life change. It’s a mix of nervous energy, excitement, fear, wonder, hope and anxiety all swirling together. I don’t like to hold this feeling for long periods of time. It’s not sustainable. So then that’s when the sweet remedy of curiosity and surrender turns out to be the best balm to soothe any overstimulation and worry.

+ I read an article that spoke of one of the major factors to Taylor Swift’s success is the fact that she always over-delivers. She doesn’t sit on her laurels. Her fans always believe that they get their money’s worth from her and she has shown them that they are absolutely worth her highest effort in everything that she does. There is no better feeling than being happily surprised with an item purchased, an enthralling experience that beats your expectations, and/or feeling completely valued and appreciated for your time, attention and money. It all comes down to trying never to take anything or anybody for granted.

+ Yesterday, I was doing one of my least favorite jobs, cleaning up dog do. I was lost in thought, going through the motions (while holding my breath), when something inside of me said, “Hey, stop, sit awhile and just be.” And so I sat by the small lake in our backyard for about five or ten minutes, and in that little amount of time, I got the realization of just how much life buzzes, in one small moment, in one small place, at any one time. In that moment, with my bare feet in the soft, luxurious grass, I witnessed all sizes of fishes swimming near the shore, two hawks doing some kind of aerial show in the air, a turtle blowing bubbles in the water, new spring blooms on my irises, the sound of an owl hooting in the woods, and an anole thrusting out his bright red bulbous throat as dragonflies whizzed by. And all of this happened as the warm sun tickled all of us, and a light breeze sustained us and lifted the mood. Life teems. Life is incredible.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

848. Do you have an expansive vocabulary?

Walking the Line

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” – Anne Lamott

“The pen is mightier than the sword.“ – Edward Bulwer-Lytton in 1839

Last night we had an interesting, lively dinner conversation. My son and my daughter were talking about the latest music video/film recently released by Taylor Swift. The video is mostly based on Taylor Swift’s song (with a little bit of acting), “All Too Well”, long believed to be about Taylor Swift’s brief romantic relationship with the movie star, Jake Gyllenhaal. The video/song doesn’t paint “Jake” in the best light (if it is truly about him), yet at the same time, from my mature woman’s eyes, it shows some naivety and immaturity on the girl’s (in the video) part, as well. My daughter is a Taylor Swift fan, and my son often proclaims Jake Gyllenhaal to be possibly the best actor of all time, so it made for fun dinner banter. I honestly admire both Swift and Gyllenhaal. I think that they are both incredibly talented, passionate people, and I can see why they may have fallen for each other, even for a few short months. For his part, Gyllenhaal has remained completely “mum” as far as a response to the recently released short film/video.

After going back and forth as to who is “right” in this situation, I brought up a story I read yesterday, about two writers who were in a Facebook writers’ group together. One of the writers gave her kidney to a stranger, just for the altruistic experience, and she brought this fact up, frequently to her writing group. One of the other writers in this same group, never acknowledged the fact that the other writer had given up one of her kidneys. She never said anything about it at all. Later, it turns out that the silent writer had written a “fictional” short story (that won an award) about a narcissistic woman who had given her kidney to a stranger, purely for “the glory of it all.” She wrote lines in the story, which were almost verbatim to lines that were shared in the writers’ Facebook chat, in which they both belonged. There have since been lawsuits and stalking and all sorts of brouhaha with these writers, and their friends, stemming from this unfortunate situation.

Which brings me to this thought: This is the hard line that we walk as writers and creators, correct? Our stories are our own. Our experiences are our own. We own our perspectives on what has happened in our lives. No one can tell us that our perspectives are wrong or false, because what happens in our own lives, and how we perceive these experiences and relationships, is entirely unique to each of us. Jake Gyllenhaal could produce a video and a song about his relationship with Taylor Swift, and it might look entirely different than what Taylor portrayed, and neither one of them is wrong.

As a writer, I understand the power that I wield with my pen. It’s a responsibility that I don’t take lightly. I’m good with words. I can communicate my perspectives in a way that often resonates with people. I constantly weigh how much I share about my life, in written form, on this blog and in other pieces that I write. My relationships with my loved ones are of utmost importance to me. I want to honor my loved ones’ privacy and feelings, as well as I can, while still honoring myself authentically, and honing my craft. It isn’t easy. I have erred in being an over-sharer, and I have erred in keeping too silent. I constantly worry that people whom I am most intimate with, will become too guarded with me, for fears of becoming my next blog post. And yet, writing is an outpouring of one’s creative soul. As a writer, your readers can feel when you are hiding and holding back, especially when they have read enough of “your stuff” to know your essence and your writing style. Honestly, in weighing in on all of this, I have even considered when and if I should destroy all of my private journals. If I am gone, all that is left, is what the people who are reading my journals, perceive of what I wrote. The people who would be reading my journals, would be the people whom I am closest to in my life. When I am gone, all that I want left from any of my important relationships, is the deep knowing that I love “my people” beyond measure, and I always will. That is all that matters to me. My greatest joy in writing, is the creative act of writing itself. Everything that I write, I want whittled down to the only end result that matters. Love. I love to write. I love “my people.” I love trying to find meaning in my life through creating written words that are interesting to read and mostly, for me to write. That is it. That is all she meant. That’s all she wrote.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Wise Doorman

You are somebody that I don’t know
But you’re takin’ shots at me like it’s Patrón
And I’m just like, damn, it’s 7 AM
Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out
But you say it in a Tweet, that’s a cop-out
And I’m just like, “Hey, are you okay?”And I ain’t tryna mess with your self-expression
But I’ve learned a lesson that stressin’ and obsessin’ ’bout somebody else is no fun
And snakes and stones never broke my bones

(From Taylor Swift’s You Need to Calm Down from her new album Lover)

I know that a lot of people don’t take Taylor Swift too seriously, but I love her. Here is a quote that she spoke about when talking about the process of writing her new album:


“Writing songs is strange because it never happens the same way,” she explained. “But sometimes it happens in a way that feels like this weird haunting that you can’t really explain. You don’t know where the ideas came from and you didn’t work at all to write it.”

I think that most of us creative types can totally relate to that quote, don’t you? And it is my belief, that almost all of us are creative types, even if we don’t realize it.

The You Need to Calm Down song reminds me of a tip that my daughter shared with me on the way to school this morning. She said that she got this tidbit of practical knowledge, off of Instagram. If someone is yelling at you and you want to diffuse the situation, tell the screamer that they have something in their teeth. It makes the yelling person instantly self conscious and interrupts the flow of negativity. I hope that you don’t have to use this tip today, particularly on a Monday morning, or anytime soon for that matter (no one should be yelling at you). Still, it’s a good little suggestion to keep tucked into your back pocket for when you are approached by the toxic types.

So, besides downloading songs this weekend, I also watched a few episodes of Amazon Prime’s Modern Love, despite being warned that it was a “hate watch.” I didn’t hate it. The episodes that I watched were admittedly sugary and light in a Hallmark special kind of a way, but why is light and sweet and sentimental necessarily a “bad thing”? Remember, I am a Taylor Swift fan. (Warning: spoiler alert!)

My favorite episode of Modern Love was about a very protective New York City doorman, who had originally come from a small, war-torn village in Albania, where he had been a sharp shooter. The narrator, named Maggie, who tells the story, is petrified for her protective doorman to meet any of her various dates and boyfriends because he judges them harshly and always negatively, with the piercing eyes of a never-miss sharp shooter. I actually wrote down some of his quotes. The doorman was so filled with that perfect, simple, “to the point” wisdom. And he said all of his statements so firmly, and knowingly, in a thick Albanian accent, that you didn’t even dare question whether he was right or wrong about what he said.

When the narrator was crying her eyes out to her doorman about another romantic disappointment in her life, he said this:

“Tomorrow is a brand new day. It has never been touched.”

When Maggie showed her doorman, a sonogram picture of her baby (he had never seen a sonogram picture before), he said this:

“It’s like the whole Universe is in here.”

When Maggie was debating whether it was even possible to make a move across the country for her dream job, her doorman said this:

“Anything is possible.”

But, the best door man quote came at the end of the show, when the narrator introduces her doorman, to her one true love. Maggie is very stressed and nervous, prepping her true love with how to act and what to say, because the doorman had always been so critical and judgmental and disapproving of all of her previous relationships. She (and her lover) are shocked and amazed when the doorman gives this particular man, his instant approval. The doorman says this:

“I was never looking at the man, Maggie. I was looking at your eyes.”

That is the point, in the show, when MY eyes started misting up. I live in the suburbs, but man oh man, I want a doorman. Hey, anything is possible. The doorman knows what he is talking about.

Socially Repulsive

First of all, a huge shout out to my awesome daughter, my dear friend and to Taylor Swift!  The concert could not have been more amazing!!  I’m still in awe thinking about everything and all of the energy that was put into that show.  Taylor Swift is a woman who loves her craft and loves her fans and it shows!!  Lifetime memory!!

On that note, I just read an article that Berkeley University recently came out with a study that found that sleep-deprived people are “socially repulsive.”  That doesn’t bode well for me today.  I will be keeping this blogpost “short and sweet.”

Today is a cleansing day for me in the fact that it is Recycle Day.  I don’t know why, but I get great satisfaction out of getting our three overflowing recycle bins emptied every week.  I think it symbolizes starting fresh, starting anew and it feels really, really good, every week.  I mentioned this to a friend of mine, a few Recycle Days ago and she told me that she feels the exact same way about Recycle Day.  It feels so good to connect that way with someone, to feel understood and related to – not alone.  Taylor Swift talked about that last night.  Taylor loves that she can connect with her fans in the way that they relate to her lyrics and thus understand and relate to her feelings.

Which brings me back to the study on sleep deprivation – apparently, exhausted people are more likely to feel lonely, which makes them send out an alienating vibe to other people.  This unfortunately sets up a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I don’t want to send out the wrong signals.  I just want to get some more sleep or at the very least, some more coffee.  Thanks for reading and I’ll catch you tomorrow so that we can connect in a positive sense. 🙂

TS

I’m taking my daughter to the Taylor Swift concert tonight.  She and one of my best friends from college are going together.  We got the idea from two other best friends from college who recently did the same thing in another city.  I’m so excited!

This will be my daughter’s first time at a music concert ever.  I’m so honored and pleased to share that moment with her.  I’ll never forget my first music concert.  It was Olivia Newton John’s Physical concert.  My awesome, hip, glamorous Aunt Beth took my sister and I to it.  She bought us the big fancy concert magazine.  I held on to the magazine for years until it got tattered.  However, the fond memory of being at the concert will last a lifetime.

I don’t know a whole lot about Taylor Swift, but from what I have seen and heard, I like.  She’s obviously extremely talented and a wonderful businesswoman.  From all reports, Taylor puts on a fabulous show for her fans who she seemingly truly appreciates.  She is charitable and classy.  I think what I like best though is that Taylor Swift seems to be so unapologetically herself.   The older I get, the more I appreciate authenticity.  It’s a rare quality.  It seems Taylor Swift is authentic.  Oh, and she’s a Sagittarius and I’m a Sagittarius, so there you have it.  Icing on the cake!

I think this will be a great first concert experience for my daughter.  I think this will be a great memory for all of us.  Mostly though, I hope that my daughter will take this Taylor Swift quote to heart and be true to it the rest of her life:   Just be yourself, there is no one better.