Yesterday, everyone in my orb seemed to be cranky. My husband was a grump all day. Most of the texts that I received throughout the day from family and friends were predominantly a litany of complaints. A man who had come to do some pressure washing at our home, had his pressure pump break in the middle of the job, and he was angry! I had a phone call with my irritable youngest son that was not pleasant. In short, I was surrounded by cantankerous energy and there was no escaping it.
In years past, being the spongy person that I am, I would have turned myself inside out trying to change everyone’s moods, mostly for my own comfort. If they all got into better moods, then their grey clouds wouldn’t overtake me. Also, in years past, I might have just succumbed to joining the Cranks Club. In my younger years, I had such loose boundaries that my motto might have been “Mi Mood-a, Su Mood-a”.
But at the ripe old age of 52, with a lot of reading and soulful introspection, I have grown. I no longer try to change anyone’s moods. I have my own fair amount of grumpy days and I am entitled to them. I don’t believe in “toxic positivity.” To stay healthy, you must feel (feel, not ruminate on nor marinate in, but definitely feel) your feelings, in order to free them. Ignored, stuffed, denied feelings have a way of turning into emotional explosions and illnesses and disorders. However, I also now make the strong effort to no longer take on anyone else’s moods. Yesterday, I, myself, was having a positive, serene, enjoyable day, and I wasn’t going to let anyone take that away from me.
In our parts, we have been enjoying the most beautiful crisp, clear, cool evenings for the last few weeks, with the perfect view of Venus and Jupiter coming closer together every single night. We walk our dogs most nights, but last night I wasn’t ready to go back into the house, after our walk. I hopped on to my bike and I invited my grumpier half to come along if he wanted to, and so he did. (Mostly my husband came along on our bike ride because he doesn’t think that my bike is well-lit enough. He’s protective, even when he is ornery.) And it was so lovely and peaceful and quiet and still and centering. My husband remained silently grouchy, but he enjoyed the excursion. I remained happy and grateful and cheery, and I enjoyed the excursion. And then we came home, we went to bed, and we woke up to the blank slate of our individual rested selves, fresh and ready to start a new day, on the first day in a hopeful new month, in the early parts of a lovely new year.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.