Eusociality

Last night, for my birthday, we had a family Zoom call, as none of my sons are home, yet, for the holidays. I know that we are all tired of Zoom. I know that Zoom is a poor substitute for experiencing the energy and closeness of each other, in person, but still, there are some good qualities to it that I enjoy. Watching the screen, is like seeing a moving portrait of my beautiful children. Further, it keeps my kids in contact with one another. A lot of times we moms tend to become the “news deliverers” to our children, about what is going on in their siblings’ lives. As kids scatter and move in all different directions, in their busy, hectic lives, the well intentioned calls to each other, often and understandably, get pushed to the wayside. So, Zoom, has a way of reminding them, that their siblings are actually a pretty fun, warm bunch. And I relish in watching them enjoy each other.

Holiday Mathis wrote today about “Eusociality” which is a scientific term for the way creatures such as ants, and bees and termites live and survive, in their social groups. Individually these organisms cannot live long without their group. They each have a special task and duty and purpose to fulfill, and the individual is not often capable of fulfilling the other tasks carried on by other members of the group. Some scientists actually see the larger organism (the group itself, living and working for the whole) as the one living entity because individually, most of these creatures could not survive for long on their own. Holiday says that some scientists argue that humans are “eusocial.” I believe that could be true. At the very least, when you have a family group or a friend group, and one member of that group is gone, the whole entity changes. When we have Zoom calls and one family member can’t make the call, the nature of the Zoom meeting is often completely different. And that’s only the micro-view. Imagine your day today, without your grocery workers, or the farmers who grew the food in the first place, or your postal workers, or the people who are keeping this internet thing afloat. (Imagine your day without reading my blog – scary! 😉 )

Even in these socially distant times, if you take the birds-eye view, we are still working as an interdependent life system, with every other living thing on this Earth. No mask can cover that fact up. And this one major life system of ours, might be a little sick right now, and it might have parts that are conflicted and weakened, but in the end, this life system of ours will heal itself. That is the beauty of Life and Creation. It was made to live and to breathe and to thrive. We are each just one little unit of that healing which goes to the healing of the whole, and I need to believe that we are well on our way. If we each do our own part to heal ourselves, we’ll be at overall wellness, before we know it.

Love In Motion

My two eldest sons are spending the weekend in NYC together. There is nothing that warms a mother’s heart more than her children choosing to spend time together that has not been forced upon them or scheduled for them. Seeing my sons’ adult relationship bloom and flourish makes me smile as I write this. I hope that their relationship continues to satisfy them both so much, that they continue to choose to share spontaneous adventures throughout their lifetimes. Because who else better can look into the excited, awe-inspired gaze of an adult on an adventure, and purely see a glimpse of the once known, thrilled, beaming child that lives on underneath the adult exterior?

Their Roots Entwined

Last night I watched my four kids laughing, and joking, and teasing and talking and even squabbling a little bit, and I felt my heart soaked in gratefulness, awe and love for these most precious people, whom I have been privileged to raise. When they were little, I must have taken it for granted that they would always be this little band of four – the oldest, curly-headed ginger leading the pack, not far behind him, his brother, the adventurer and the instigator, followed by the youngest blue-eyed boy, (yet the biggest pup of the litter) and finally, keeping up and keeping them all in line, their brave and beautiful little sister. And then the growing up and the “growing beyond” happened, and it happened so fast.

Last night I got a glimpse. I got a glimpse of the roots that they all share which keep my children’s feet firmly planted on the Earth, even as their individual blossoms are spreading far and away. Those roots are strong. They have a base of roots entwined with a shared history, camaraderie, memories, and shared DNA. They all have had the shared experience of my husband and I, forging our perspectives and hopes and ideas, of what lives lived well, look like, and they will be able to nourish their own perspectives, hopes and ideas from the nutrients they share, from down deep under the surface of our family soil.