Tag: satire

Your Soul is Whole

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“Every soul is whole, no matter how wounded the mind is.” ~ Native American (credit: Native Red Cloud @Native3rd, Twitter)

Your soul is whole, baby, and it is always, always with you. Your soul has been with you since the beginning, and it will be with you until the end of time. How do you get out of your overthinking mind, and into your ever-peaceful soul? Here are some ways:

  1. Take five deep breaths and notice the inhales and exhales.
  2. Think of five people, places, pets, or things which you are grateful for, and notice what gratefulness feels like in your body. (for me, it is a buoyancy in my chest, and an overall feeling of relaxation and relief, much like floating safely in a swimming pool)
  3. Do a body scan. Start at your toes. What are the sensations in your toes? Work all of the way up your body, to noticing the sensations at the top of you head.
  4. Say a prayer to your Higher Power, with just these words, “Let me hear what you have to say to me.” That’s it. Just sit with that prayer, and if your mind starts to wander on to other things, or you find yourself wanting to get into “talky” mode, repeat the listening prayer. Let the peace wash over you. (this is a sort of prayer and meditation, all in one.)
  5. Pick up one object that you like, say a “cherry”, and notice everything about the cherry. What does it look like? What does it sound like? What does it smell like? What does it feel like? What does it taste like?
  6. Think of someone who you love, like you love no other. Imagine hugging that person and transferring all of the love that you hold in your heart, to that person. Now imagine both of you covered in that swirling energy of love. Feel what that feels like. Gift that feeling to the next person you think of, imagining that person all of the sudden getting showered in the beautiful, powerful energy of unconditional love.
  7. When driving and passing people in their cars or on the street, think to yourself, “I love you and I bless you.” (this gives your mind and your heart a good job to do, without getting distracted by worries, or by anger about errant drivers. Your mind is just like a German Shepherd. It’s smart. It needs a job, all of the time. Give it a good job.)

Now if you prefer to stay in your overthinking, judgy, “stressed to the gills” mind/ego, here are some good ways to stay totally in your mindstate:

  1. Think of everyone and everything that annoys you (in detail) and think, with an air of superiority, about why you are right and they are wrong.
  2. Try to control everyone and everything going on around you, and sit in the feeling of utter, quickly growing frustration during this continuous, never-ending lesson in futility.
  3. Think of your own worst fears and worries and think of all of the worst case scenarios that could happen from your worst fears and worries. Obsess on these outcomes. Let them grow exponentially. Use your imagination.
  4. Spend at least two to three hours with Dr. Google, after experiencing a slight, but unusual pain in your neck.
  5. Keep the news on, in the background 24/7, and check other news stories, compulsively on your phone at the same time, just to make sure that your mind is getting fed all of the negative news that is available to you, right in the moment.
  6. Spend a good deal of your time beating yourself up for not being thin enough, or productive enough, or kind enough, or stylish enough, or smart enough. Be your own worst critic. Be creative with your harshness. Add a lot of sarcasm, just to be clever and cruel.
  7. Replay in your mind, every past experience that has already happened, and start making harsh judgments about the whole event. Cut down and criticize yourself, others, and all of the players who you can think of who were involved in the situation, until you are depleted and exhausted. Stew in your gripes. Be sure to be extra nit-picky and passive aggressive. Repeat on a never-ending cycle.

“Every soul is whole, no matter how wounded the mind is.” Your soul is whole, baby. Pick your soul every time. Your mind is just like a German Shepherd. It needs to be redirected to do helpful things for you, in your overall life. Your mind isn’t bad. It just likes to have a job, and to work all of the time. So give your mind some training. Make your German Shepherd mind an excellent working dog that does good, helpful work for you – work that supports you, and guards you from harm (especially from yourself). On the other hand, your soul doesn’t need any training. Your soul is the glorious, holy resting place for you, and your German Shepherd mind. Give your mind lots of breaks, just letting it relax in the whole of your soul. Your soul is whole, baby. It is your source of life, love, peace and replenishment. It is the perfect part of you, and it is available to you, forever.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Disrupted Nest

Once upon a time there was this little bird who loved her nest. She loved being in her nest with her mate and her hatchlings. Of course, her hatchlings quickly grew to be big birds themselves and they started leaving the nest more and more. One hatchling grew up to be his own bird and left the nest and created his own nest, in a tree, far away, of his own liking. The bird family still flew to see each other, though. They were chatty birds, who liked each other’s company.

This story isn’t about hatchlings leaving the nest, though. This is about the time when the little bird’s nest was completely disrupted and the poor little bird thought that she would go cuckoo or even batty. Though a bit flighty, this little bird wasn’t a natural cuckoo, and bats, obviously, are a whole different species, but this little bird found that she was really starting to empathize with cuckoos and those beings sometimes described as batsh*t-crazy. You see, the disruption in her nest felt like it would never end and it was turning her into a whole different animal as much as she tried to stay pleasant and chirpy.

It all started when the little bird and her mate for life, decided that their nest was in serious need of some new straw. They found some birds who were particularly good at nest renovation and they agreed to give lots and lots (and lots) of seed to these birds, in exchange for some fresh straw. When it was time to take out the old straw and bring in the new straw, the expert new straw birds arrived and hung out with the little bird all day long, every day, for months and months. The poor little bird tried to stay positive and she could see that the new straw would soon look very nice, when she looked past all of the old straw, and dust feathers lying all around the nest. She tried not to pluck out the feathers in her chest, in distress, but she found it hard to resist sometimes. She tended to get a little “pecky” with her mate and nestlings who still lived in the nest with her, when they came home to the nest in the evenings.

This little bird was an old bird who had been around the flock for a while. She had even been through previous nest renovations in earlier times in her little birdy life. She knew that the process of the rebuilding of a nest would be annoying and disruptive. The little bird knew some calming yoga poses like standing on one leg that helped her get into balance. (a lot of birds stand on one leg). Still sometimes she felt pushed to the edge of her nest . . . and her sanity.

This story doesn’t have any ending yet, but the nest is progressing a lot and I suspect there is going to be a happy, calming ending for the little bird and her mate. I suspect that they are really going to appreciate the changes and updates to their nest, to the point that they will soon forget about all of the upheaval and disruption that this renovation has caused. And I suspect a few years down the road (maybe give it a decade), they will have conveniently forgotten how stressful it was to have their nest torn apart and displaced (they have little tiny bird brains that aren’t known for good memories – see elephants, for good memorization skills). Then, the little birds again, will get a wild hair (or a wild feather, in their case) and decide to yet again, exchange piles and piles of seed for an updated nest. That’s just how birds work.