Tag: sad

It Gets Weird

Sometimes you see something that describes yourself and you think, “Wow, spot on. I never saw it so succinctly written, but this is it. This is me.”

I almost feel exposed, but also relieved and validated at the same time. I am a happy, perky, friendly, upbeat person. I get excited about a lot of little things (and big things, too.) I laugh a lot and heartily. I think sometimes I have been mistaken for clueless, naive, “toxically” positive, sheltered, just “lucky”. Sometimes I almost feel like I need to be apologetic about my happy nature and yet, I have certainly had my fair share of heartaches, much like anyone else who has reached their fifties.

My nature is to experience everything fully and deeply. So when I am experiencing “happy” it’s BIG. It’s BRIGHT and SHINY. It stands out. But I take everything to heart. I mull over everything, the good and the bad – again and again. I tend to carry it all with me and sometimes this adds a lot of weight to my soul.

Does this resonate with any of you? Do you feel misunderstood a lot of the time? I hope this added a little understanding to at least one of you, today, like it did for me. It’s an interesting fact that the sun weighs 330,000 times the weight of the earth. So clearly, even carrying around sunshine can be a heavy load.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2435. What song do you know ALL the words to? (Ummm, “Happy Birthday.”)

Sadly Happy and Happily Sad

I’m going to be very un-PC and use this inopportune time of the year to be a little bah-humbug. You see, not everyone loves the holidays. Not everyone is Buddy the Elf. In fact, some people dread the holidays, like no other time of the year. Most of the people I know, who I am intimate enough to be honest with, have a lot of mixed-bag emotions around this time of the year. And that’s okay. I’m one of those mixed-bag people. Some of the holiday events make me feel excited, happy, joyful and peaceful. Some holiday events make me feel sad, nostalgic, aggravated, resentful and bring up old grief.

I consider myself an optimistic, upbeat person. I don’t like being around Debbie Downers, nor do I want to be perceived as one. That being said, it’s okay to move your thoughts to the positive aspects of the holiday season, without denying that the sad, painful, thoughts arise sometimes, too. I just try to notice those darker thoughts, accept them and then refocus on things that I am looking forward to, in the new year.

In the end, I want you to know that I will be a constant throughout the holidays. I have posted every single day since the middle of July and I will continue to post every single day until I run out of things to say and I guarantee you, that unless my mind, hands, or wifi stops working, I will continue to post on a daily basis throughout the holidays to the new year, for certain. So, if you need a break from it all, grab a gingerbread cookie and come sit with my post. I’ll feel your presence and you can feel mine. Whatever you’re feeling is okay. If you are merry or lonely, over-excited or depressed, it’s all okay. If you are filled with hilarity or filled with pent-up frustration, feel your feels and set them free. I’m here for you. I understand. Don’t try to change your feelings. Just let them be. Believe it or not, your feelings are a precious gift from above. They are proof of just how vividly alive you are and how you are so attuned to the experience of Life.

“Christmas brings me a sense of nostalgia that makes me feel sadly happy and at the same time, happily sad!” – Jean-Paul Malfatti