How’s everyone doing out there? There is just so much going on right now. It’s a lot, and it’s been happening in steady succession, for a few years now. I just read this long thread on Twitter that started out with a shaming line of how disgusted the writer was with the idea that people are spending so much time on the Academy Awards fiasco, when there is so much pain happening in Ukraine and in other parts of the world. Some people gave the writer a big “Amen!” and some people reminded the writer that sometimes we need silly distractions from all the nightmares happening around us, which we cannot control. And do you know what? “Some people” were right.
Whatever you need to do right now that helps you to process your own living experience is okay. Just don’t assume that what works for you, is the right answer for someone else. If someone asks for our help and for our guidance, we can share what has helped us with our own experiences, and what has given us strength and hope during tough times. But we must also understand that we all have unique personalities and perspectives and coping mechanisms. This isn’t a “one size fits all” and when we try to make things a “one size fits all”, that’s usually when more trouble starts. This is when we get defensive with each other, and division ends up pulling us even further away from each other, with intolerance for others’ points of view and ways of going about living our own individual lives. In times of strife, we try to control everything outside of us, and that includes other people. It makes us feel better to feel like we are in control. But do you like the feeling of being controlled? No one does. A long time ago, a friend shared the Circle of Control, with our group of friends. It is a good one to go to often, as a reminder of the only things that we have total control over, and that is shown in the little green center. The rest of the chart we have a little influence over, and in the widest circle, we literally have no control. If we stick to focusing on what is in the green for ourselves, we will feel more “in control” and calm and peaceful, than when we try to control everything.
I think Groucho Marx said it best, “Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.” (kidding)
Have a great day, friends!! Stay in the green.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.