One of the most arresting questions in the world is “Why?” We asked “Why?” a lot when we were little kids because we were so full of curiosity, and we earnestly and honestly were trying desperately to understand all of the new things which we were experiencing. We asked “Why?” so much that it annoyed our elders and more often than not, we would get shut down. And then we got older, and we stopped asking “Why?” all that much. We found it got easier to stay in our indoctrinated and conditioned beliefs because it created a framework for us to navigate our lives. Questioning everything, and exploring the answers that resonate, takes work. It is exhausting and sometimes even emotional and chagrining. This ignoring the “Whys?” is fine until it isn’t fine. These times that we are living in right now are tumultuous because more and more people are asking “Why?” about a lot of things, and these “Why?s” can be witnessed and communicated all over the world via computers and social media. Also, as this is happening, more and more people are keeping their feet firmly planted, in their (sometimes relatively unexamined) beliefs, mostly out of the fears of the new “Why?”s cropping up, and of the changes that could arise from these “Why?”s. Some people are deeply fearful of their loss of power.
Last weekend we went to a wonderfully creative sand art show with friends of ours. I noticed a large group of Amish people walking along the path on the beach, admiring the art, like we were doing. They were all dressed head to toe in dark clothing, so that few of their body parts were showing, on a day that was sunny and clear and close to 90 degrees out. Now to be clear, this isn’t a call-out on anyone’s faith. There are many, many paths to God (or not) and throughout all of history, the only one unifying belief that all of the different paths seem to believe is that they, themselves, have total ownership of the one “right” path. And that’s okay. In my life, what is most important is that I believe that I am on the path that is “right” for me. But the only way that I can make sure that I am on the right path for me, is to find out, and to deeply explore my own answers to “Why?” Why do I believe the things that I do? Are these truthfully my own beliefs from the deepest core of my own self, or are they just “facts” which I’ve memorized to “pass the test” and get approval? If I had gone up to the group of Amish people on the beach and asked them “Why do you dress in this regale, even on a hot beach?”, I am sure that I would get some fervent, well-examined answers from Amish people who fully believe in the modesty, and less attention to bodies, and less focus on individuality, as it relates to a deeper connection with God. But I also believe that I might get some robotic, unexamined answers that said something to the effect that is what our religion/ancestors told us to do, and I am fearful of the consequences if I get brave enough to ask “Why?” And I am more fearful that the answers won’t resonate with me, and then I will either have to do something about that fact, or I will have to live with the uneasy feeling of not being true to myself. I will have to knowingly live a lie.
Again, the most arresting question in the world is “Why?” because it is often the precursor to change, and to the opening up of realizations about ourselves, and how we have been living. It is a “wake up call” question and that’s scary for us. We don’t like to admit when we may have been wrong in our thinking, or even worse, that maybe the answers to our questions aren’t as simple as we would like them to be. Asking “Why?” makes us feel vulnerable and less sure, and that isn’t a framework that feels good in a big, wild, unpredictable world. However, at the opposite side of the scale, asking “Why?” can also deepen our connection to our beliefs, and make us fully realize why our particular beliefs are so valuable to our own thinking and the way that we go about living and creating in this world. Either way, asking “Why?” is extremely valuable to us, and how we authentically and fully live our lives, going forward.
It is my own (fully explored) belief that a lot the world’s problems could be solved with more questions. Why do I believe what I believe? (about anything – God, family, government, leaders, romantic relationships, economy, friendships, environment, laws, rules, health, etc.) Are these beliefs serving me? Are these beliefs servicing my family, and my community, and the world at large? Are these beliefs honestly part of that inner “knowingness” that when I get real, real still, seems to just naturally navigate me to what is right for me, and thus also for the connected world at large?
If you have something in your life that has been pinging you for some of your attention, give it that attention today. Give it attention by asking questions surrounding the situation. Get brutally real with yourself. It’s okay if you give yourself a little shock of awakening about some things that you may have just been going through the motions about, or trying to ignore or rationalize. Freedom is daunting, but freedom of thought is the one freedom which no one else can ever take from us, unless we hand it over to them, mindlessly, on a silver platter. Don’t ever give your freedom away.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.