Tag: pride

Respect

My son, who is finishing up his four years of medical school in May, finds out if he gets a residency today. (sadly, some medical students after doing everything that they possibly could to get into medical school, and then doing everything in their power to pass all of the rigorous testing that medical school entails, still do not end up with residencies) On Friday, if my son has a residency, we will find out where his residency will be on National Match Day, when all graduating medical students who have residencies will find out where they will spend the next five years as medical residents, working crazy hours and making relatively low salaries while they do it. A mysterious algorithm spits this all out on one day. (it’s oddly similar to the NFL draft)

I don’t say this to brag. I am extremely proud of my son. I am extremely proud of all of my sons and my daughter. (along with my husband, my four children are my absolute favorite people on this Earth, not because of their many talents and gifts and loving natures, but mostly because they are mine) I am writing this because we don’t come from a long line of medical people in our family. We knew nothing about medical school and residencies and cadavers and National Match Day until our son decided to take this path in life. And yes, down the line, after our son pays hundreds of thousands back in medical school loans (we paid for his undergrad, a lot of medical students have undergrad loans, as well), and he pays his dues as a resident for another five years (in their first years of residencies, all doctors have to do a general medical rotation, in which they continue to witness the highs and lows of the ER, and the cancer ward, and the psych units, much like they already experienced in their four years of medical school), our son will hopefully have a well-paying, highly respected position at a hospital. But, please realize, most doctors don’t do this for the money. (that might actually be a foolish choice) My son’s two brothers have made plenty of money right out of college, selling tech products. My son’s best friends have made plenty of money right out of college as engineers or as “finance bros” in New York City. My son has not picked the easy route to a prosperous life. His climb has been on the rough side of the mountain. His climb has been an intuitive one, listening to a deep, deep calling, along with all of his medical school friends who have heard the same calling, and were brave enough to listen to it, and to follow it, despite all of the roadblocks and hardships and calamities that taking this calling endures. And for the rest of us on the other side of the mountain, thank God that these people followed this calling. For we all call to them, when we are at our weakest. And they come running.

Witnessing our son’s journey from deciding he wanted to get into medical school (less than half of people who decide to apply to medical school, get in, often applying to 40+ medical schools each), hearing horrific and inspiring and shocking and hopeful and devastating stories that were not fictional depictions of what goes on in hospitals, (Truth is always stranger and certainly more poignant than fiction.), watching our son work grueling hours, while taking one difficult test after difficult test after difficult test, in order to graduate from medical school, I have never felt a more profound respect for those in the medical fields, than I feel right now. I don’t give my respect away easily. People have to earn my respect. My son has earned my deepest respect. His fellow medical student friends have earned my deepest respect.

For those of you in the medical fields, you are among those elite people who make choices not just for yourself, but for all of us in society. Police officers, soldiers, teachers, firefighters and many, many others belong to this most elite of tribes. Thank you for listening to your calling and for serving the rest of us with your incredible gifts. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Happy Pride Month

Happy Pride Month to all of my LGBTQAI+ readers!! You are loved and you have come a long way, baby. My kids are shocked when we tell them what it was like in the 80s/90s, where many of our gay friends, family, and colleagues felt the need to stay closeted for a myriad of reasons. (They also laugh at me when I say that my friends and I completely believed that George Michael was straight. We never even questioned it. My friend’s mom crushed on him hard.)

We all know the pain it feels when we are in a situation where we feel we can’t be our true, authentic selves. We all know that horrible, hollow feeling of betraying our own selves, at times. Our LGBTQAI+ friends have felt that situation in almost every single aspect of their lives. How painful! How wrong! And on top of that, the price of being true to themselves has included acts and threats of violence, family estrangement, being ostracized from their faith, and having to fight for every single right that we straights just take for granted. . . . . If you really believe that “gay is a choice”, why would anyone choose this road????

I support you all, my dear gay friends, family and readers and all who love you. I hope that you have a wonderful month of celebrating! Lately, I have been listening to the PRIDE radio station when I drive in my car and it’s made my errands a pure blast. It’s like having a dance club in my car. I don’t want to leave the car. The music played is so upbeat and fun. That’s something that I think the Pride movement has in spades – optimism, excitement, buoyancy, love, acceptance – despite all odds. Dancing through torrential storms will get you far, and it will take you closer to your destination, which is really the only destination any of us want to reach – pure and total Love.

“It’s always wrong to hate, but it’s never wrong to love.” — Lady Gaga

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2095. What is your go-to comfort food?

I Am Proud

I am really proud of you. You dealt with a difficult situation, an extremely difficult year – a year filled with unknowns and trepidation and fears, and you handled it. You have one very tough experience under your belt, and the good that has come of this, is that you realize that you are stronger than you ever knew yourself to be. You dealt with disappointments and losses, and you took them on the chin. You learned to live in the moment, to savor the simple things in life, and you learned to have true compassion for yourself, and for others. You grappled with a wide array of extreme emotions, from yourself and from others, and you came to an understanding that life is much more complex than black/white, right/wrong – in short, life isn’t always as clear cut as we want it to be.

I am really proud of you. You learned this year, that gratefulness for what you do have, is the true sanctuary of the heart. You got exposed to so much in life, that you may have taken for granted, and yet, you also got the realization that there was a lot of distracting, superfluous stuff in your life, that was easy to shed, for a clearer path of where you want your life to lead. Through a very muddling, confusing, chaotic year, you were able to get clear on your highest values.

I am really proud of you. You had to spend a lot of time with yourself in 2020, and sometimes that person (yourself) is the hardest person to get to know. We tend to be the toughest, most judgmental critics of ourselves. There was a lot of time for “reflection” in 2020, and sometimes what we see in the mirror isn’t all that pretty, but when we learn to love ourselves, flaws and all, we are better unconditional lovers of others. I am proud that you came around to the gift of self acceptance.

I am really proud of you. You may think that you are all scratched up, weather beaten, bruised and vulnerable. You may feel exhausted and spent, but you are not what that small part of you sees. You are beautiful. You are made pure by the faith and the hope and the love, that kept you going. You may feel like you are hanging by a thread, but that thread you are holding on to is a steely, unbreakable golden thread. This golden thread keeps you connected to the miraculous experience of living life’s overwhelming, enticing and exciting adventures. This year you experienced the full array of what it means to live life on a precarious playing field, with its own terms, and you are humbler and better for it.

I am really proud of you. You shine. I can’t wait to see what is in store for you next. You have proven to yourself that you are resilient, kind, bold, able to face your fears, thankful, and deep. With all of that in your armor, no matter what awaits, you are prepared for it, and as always, your adventures in living, will be awe-striking. Go forward and upward from the ashes of the old you. You have a new layer of light that will help you through any experience that lies ahead on your path, and you have realized a strong connection to your inner compass. And that unbreakable compass that dwells deep inside of your heart, will never, ever steer you wrong. You know this now, more deeply than ever before. I am really proud of you.