Pollyanna Archives - Adulting: Second- Half

Candyland People

Think Smarter (Twitter) nailed it again. I agree completely with the above statement. I have been called bubbly and vivacious and lively and perky. I am those things. I feel everything really deeply. So, luckily, I think that I get a really nice, deep helping of joy and excitement, when I am feeling those emotions. That being said, I also feel my negative emotions pretty deeply, as well. What I do know, is that all of my feelings, are just that – feelings, and they pass. I have reminded my children, and I have written it here on the blog, many, many times that our true consciousness of being, is just like the vast, blue sky. Our peaceful awareness remains a constant. Clouds come, but they always, always pass on by. And we can help the clouds to pass on by, when we monitor our thoughts, because more often than not, our thoughts create our feelings. And our thoughts are often faulty. I have a friend who often says, “Let’s ‘fact check’ that statement,” when any one us in our friend group, gets a little dramatic with our complaints and our woes. Often, we end up laughing at ourselves and our thoughts, because the feelings attached to these thoughts, can really start a ridiculous thought train, going way, way out to La La Land. I read recently, in order for us to not get too attached to our thoughts, we need to detach from them, and visualize them like other information that constantly comes at us and we easily let pass on by without too much pondering, for instance the billboards which we pass as we are driving on a highway, or individual leaves being carried down a stream, or computer pop-ups that we quickly press the “X” button on, to stop them from distracting us. In the end, I think that being a positive person just means that you trust yourself to be able to handle anything that comes your way, and that you are good at finding the silver linings of any situation.

Image result for good quotes about being positive

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Toenail Dialogs

If you ever want to find out what the real priorities are, on your to-do list during the holiday season, give yourself about 30 minutes less time than everything will actually take to do, and don’t figure in the unexpecteds, such as a daughter having to go to the doctor to get a strep throat swab (it was negative, thank goodness), and eldest son’s flight arriving 20 minutes early. Let’s just say, pedicure was one of the first items crossed off the list. It was interesting to watch my mind, trying to spin how to handle the chipped, grown out, faded sparkly blue polish now only about half on, my nasty toenails:

Pollyanna voice in my head – Hmmm, well, you could do your own pedicure really quick. Saves time and money! 🙂

Bitchyanna other voice in my head – Are you kidding?!? That will look even worse than how trashy it looks right now, you slobby fool. Why don’t you french braid your hair while you’re at it – ha!

Pollyanna voice in my head – Well, you can just make it a point to only wear boots, clogs and sneakers for the entire Thanksgiving break, therefore no one will know, that you aren’t so perfectly coiffed.

Bitchyanna – Sure, the kids won’t think that it is strange (and secretly start worrying about your mental health) when you are donning boots with your robe, at breakfast, and what are going to do, wear cowboy boots to the beach? You live in Florida, for goodness sake! You used to make fun of the Floridians who wear Uggs. Now YOU look like an Alaskan Inuit any time the thermometer drops below 63 degrees. Ridiculous!!

Pollyanna – Well, your priorities are in the right place. It’s good to show the kids that it is not necessary to be the picture of perfection. Love, family, turkey (and definitely stuffing) – that’s what matters.

Bitchyanna – You know dumbass, you are almost 50 right now. Learn to manage your time better. Maybe start by spending less time in your head, having a wacky dialog between two fake personas, about your damn toenails. Just a thought . . . .

Me (with my personalities, all integrated back into the reality of the moment) – OMG! I have to get to the airport now. Stat. What’s the next, non-necessity thing that I can take off of the list?!? Can I cover up the mildew smell with Febreeze on the damp clothes in the washer if I don’t put them into the dryer until I get back?!

Pollyanna and Bitchyanna – Well, here we go again . . . .

Promise Yourself

Does an optimist, hoping for a certain outcome, believe that the desired outcome is going to happen? Or does an optimist just believe that whatever is meant to be is going to happen, and what happens IS the best outcome, no matter how things seem?

I like to think of myself as an optimist, but I also don’t like to get my hopes up. Perhaps being an optimist, means always being able to see the bright side of things, no matter what happens. Maybe being an optimist, one just lets things happen, and sees the silver lining in everything that does happen.

Sometimes people see optimists as dumb “Pollyanna” type characters who don’t face life with realistic views. I wonder if there is a middle ground character between optimists and pessimists. I guess the middle characters would be considered to be “neutralists.” These are the people who hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. They never get too high with the highs, and too low with the lows.

Then there are the spiritualists that tell us to stay away from duality. They say that there really isn’t “good” or “bad”. Things just are. Life just is. These spiritualists say that it is our stories and perspectives that we place upon events, that turn these events into epic stories of good versus evil. They tell us to try to live our lives by just experiencing it, without judging it.

“Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”
― Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them

If I Want To . . . .

My husband loves to quote Coach Willie Taggart, “The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude. So go have a great day if you want to!” We repeat this quote a lot to each other and to our kids, especially on Mondays. It’s a big responsibility to have a great day. There are so many obstacles in the way. Traffic, cranky people, an off-putting comment, an overflowing in-box, less than good sleep the night before, all seem to be roadblocks to the choice of having a great day. That’s the key word, though, right? Choice. We choose how we look at traffic, cranky people, annoying comments, huge workloads and sleepiness.

In today’s world, sometimes it doesn’t feel cool to be Pollyanna. You are almost expected to be cynical and sarcastic, if you want to be considered smart and “in the know.” In the end though, what matters more? How you perceive others to consider you to be or how you feel at the end of another precious day in your life? Traffic can be turned into the blessing of having a car, and having forced alone time to think and contemplate and rest, in your car. Cranky people can be a lesson in empathy and sending a silent prayer or blessing that connects you and the upset person to a force that holds both of you in the Highest of esteem. Annoying comments can be a lesson in self awareness as to why the comment pricked us and could there be merit or a lesson in the thought, despite its unfavorable form of transport? Huge workloads force us to prioritize and take tasks, methodically, one at a time. I read once that we are all going to die with our in-boxes full. Again, it is looking at things in a different perspective. Sleepiness is just our bodies telling us to remember to prioritize our rest. A quote I often think of is that your body is your soul’s address. Be a good landlord.

I don’t think having a great day is always an easy task in our modern world. But it is a task that I think is definitely worth pursuing. So, thanks Coach, I will have a great day. If I want to . . . .