Tag: politics

Thursday’s Thoughts

+ We wonder why there are so many crazies/narcissists/self-interested/self-impressed weirdos in leadership positions in our politics and other institutions in our society and the reason is, who else could possibly want to take on these awful positions? What sane, reasonable, equitable, logical, self aware person would want to be a politician? So until we heal the systems and the institutions themselves, we will be continued to be lead by crazies/narcissists/self-interested/self-impressed weirdos. And things will only get worse and worse. One particular person isn’t the answer. One particular party isn’t the cure. We need to heal the systems and the structures in our society. We need to get back to the bare bones of what is truly important to the majority of people: Our families and loved ones, our health, our safety, our communities, our resources, our opportunities, and our freedoms, and we need to work together to clean the rest of the noise/drama/junk/control issues out of the structures of our institutions. The best that we can do, in the meantime, is to become the best sane, reasonable, equitable, logical, self aware versions of ourselves, and focus on what is truly important to us (with the awareness that the others around us also deserve these basic priorities in their own lives): Family, freedom, health, safety, community, resources, opportunities. A huge mass of people living healthy lives of universal values (all stemming from love and kindness) will eventually drown out the noise of power hungry individuals, and then true leaders will emerge to help us all leave the mess and wreckage behind us in the history books, as reminders of where never to go/never to do again. One day, we will finally learn.

+I’m currently reading Paul Newman’s new biography that just came out. Revelations (from as far as I have gotten so far): Paul Newman was half-Jewish and suffered anti-Semitism, his family of origin owned a high-end sporting goods store that survived the Depression, and he served in the Navy during World War II. Paul Newman died at the age of 83. I think that my biggest takeaway of the book so far, is more of a general takeaway. Paul Newman lived for over eight decades. Reading about his different adventures during major happenings in world history, is a huge reminder to me, of just how vast our individual life experience really is, especially for those of us who are fortunate enough to live long lives. When I read about others’ adventures and stories of their own lives, it inspires me to take more chances, to really revel in my experiences, and to reflect on how these experiences shape me. Reading others’ biographies, is a reminder to keep my own biography interesting, and compelling, and to cherish “the stories” as they are happening.

+I was at the grocery the other day, staring at package of ready-made caramel apples. I had already tried them and they weren’t that good, but I was pondering on giving them a second chance, with the hopes that perhaps I had just bought a bad batch. A women sauntered up to me, by the apples and said, “Honey, get a tub of Marzetti’s caramel dip, and a bag of Heath toffee chips and mix it together. Your kids will eat a dozen apples in a day, with that stuff on top.” Kids?? Ha! Did she mean the kids who are all adults and do not currently live with me? I did not admit that fact to her. I kept that fact to myself. Instead, I just nodded emphatically and racewalked to the baking aisle for the Heath chips. I can attest that I have probably eaten about two dozen, nice sized apples (which I have never been a huge fan of), and the “dip and chips” is almost all gone. Go to your grocery store now for just three ingredients: Apples, Marzetti’s caramel dip, Heath toffee chips. You won’t regret it. Happy Fall. You’re welcome.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

True Leaders

When you have a family, “Our Family” becomes the entity that is the most important thing in your life. The individual players are, of course, of high importance, but ultimately, as the leaders of “Our Family” you make decisions that are ultimately best for the entire entity. All of your major decisions – where you live, what you spend your money on, what you eat, where the kids go to school, how much time and energy you spend at work, etc. are all predicated with the overall idea of, “Is this what is best for “Our Family?” Almost every member of “Our Family” makes sacrifices for the greater good of “Our Family”, especially the leaders of “Our Family” (particularly if they are good, conscientious, caring leaders, with a vision of hoping to achieve the highest state which “Our Family” could reach). As the leaders of “Our Family” you are completely devoted to this entity outside of yourself. It gives you more purpose, meaning, pride, humility, a sense of duty, and satisfaction to see “Our Family” thrive, more than anything else does, in your life.

I wish that I felt that the majority of our country’s leaders, saw our country, as my husband and I see “Our Family.” I wish that our leaders saw “Our Country” as something far more important than themselves, and their own individual gains of power, wealth, control and security. I think that the people who started “Our Country” were those kinds of leaders. History tells us that many of our forefathers were reluctant leaders. They understood the kinds of individual sacrifices it would take, to keep moving forward towards the sacred vision of the highest form they visualized for “Our Country.” But they knew that the future of “Our Country” was greater than their individual desires. They felt a sense of purpose, meaning, pride, humility, duty and satisfaction to create a country the likes the world had never seen before. And so they put their energy, their talents, their faith, their vision, not into themselves, but mostly into “Our Country.” I’m not saying that they were perfect leaders. There is no such thing. Obviously, history tells us that “Our Country” has made some awful, dire mistakes. This is the way of anyone’s individual families, neighborhoods, teams, organizations and countries. Still, these entities which have strong, self-sacrificing leaders, are the institutions that stand the test of time. When a family, neighborhood, company, team, organization, country is lead by someone who cares about the well-being of “Our Family”, “Our Company”, “Our Team”, “Our Country” to the point that they would give their entire selves, possibly even their very own lives, in order to see “Our” thrive to heights never achieved before, there is almost nothing that can stop the forward, upward motion of that entity.

Where are our true leaders? Who is stepping up, not for the sake of themselves, but for the sake of “Our Country”? Let’s find these true leaders. Let’s put them into power. Let’s move forward and upward for the sake of “Our Beloved Country.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

I Am Sickened

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The extreme irony that I experienced yesterday, is not lost on me. As we were driving our youngest child, and our only daughter to college yesterday, she announced that Roe v. Wade had been overturned.

I have always said that this blog would never be a political spot, as I believe that there are too many of these vitriolic political spots on the internet already. Frankly, I am not a particularly political person. My voter’s card currently states “No Party Affiliation”. I made that decision recently (forgoing my rights to vote in the primaries, this I understand) because I can no longer stand to be affiliated with either of these major parties, who have been taken over by their most extreme members, pushing their agendas to the point of control, coercion, shame, zealotry and fanaticism (mostly out of self-interest and narcissism), and quite frankly, not representing anyone whom I love and whom I respect, in my own real life. I deeply love both the Conservatives and the Liberals in my life. In my real life experience, most of the people whom I know, no matter where they stand politically, do not hold extreme views. They understand the need for sensibility and moderation and open-mindedness and cooperation. The Liberals and the Conservatives whom I love are not full of hate and vindictiveness. The people whom I love, wherever they stand on the political spectrum, believe in kindness and compassion, foremost, above anything else. They want to build this country based on the foundation of love. I truly believe that these people, whom I have been surrounded by for my entire life, are the true majority of the good people of the United States. And this true majority is not being fervently represented by ANYBODY in Washington, D. C.

I have never had an abortion. I don’t think that I ever could have an abortion, but thankfully, that supposition has never been tested. I do know women who have had abortions. I assure you that it was not an easy, non-emotional, soulless, flippant decision for any of them. I don’t believe that the decision to have an abortion is ever easily made by any woman, except for the very, very few who have major mental disorders. I have had a late miscarriage. My doctors had to induce me, in order for my uterus to be cleansed. Would this procedure be allowed in certain states now that Roe vs. Wade has been overturned?? Would I have been forced to keep a dead fetus in my uterus to the detriment of my health? I know more than one woman who has been raped. Thankfully, these rapes did not result in pregnancy. But what if they had? Is it my place, or anyone’s place, to tell a woman that she must carry the result of her rape to term??? Is it my place, or anyone else’s, to tell anybody what to do with their own bodies???

I am an upper middle class, post-menopausal, white woman. My daughter has excellent healthcare benefits, and parents who adore her unconditionally, and whom she can talk to honestly and earnestly. We can pay for flights, for birth control, for procedures, and for difficult decisions. But what about our sisters who don’t have these privileges? Where does this leave them? Where does this leave their offspring?

I am sickened. Friends, I am sickened. I get to choose my morality. You get to choose yours. I get my day of reckoning with my God. You get your day of reckoning with yours. I get to live my consequences. You get to live with yours. Hands off!!!

“As heartbroken as I am, as pissed off as I am, I refuse to be silent. I refuse to give up. Women across this country are going to rise up like you’ve never seen. If you thought we were a lot before, just wait.” – Maria Shriver

“On a day of many thoughts, my heart breaks especially for the most marginalized members of our society. The burden is almost always heaviest for those who are already burdened.” – Dan Rather

The Best Games

When my four children were younger, they all played a lot of different sports on a lot of different teams. We spent most of our weekends traveling from one sporting event, to another. My second son, in particular, was devoted to soccer, so we understand the ins and outs of travel soccer, extremely well.

It occurred to me this week, that I never really enjoyed “blow out” games. We often would wake up early in the morning and travel several hours and sit in the blazing sun, for the enjoyment of watching young men and young women really hone their skills, and to play at highly competitive levels. Blow out games offered nothing to either team and their players, nor to the bystanders watching the games. In blow out games, one team was completely humiliated and annihilated, and the winning team was not even challenged at all. These blow out games never allowed for anyone on either team to really grow and to become better and to learn from one another. These games often felt pointless and discouraging and embarrassing. One team often got overinflated in their perceived greatness, and yet disappointed, like the deflating feeling of getting a trophy, for just participating. The defeated team often got too discouraged and they sometimes lost their vision and drive for future improvement.

On the other hand, when two teams played, who were highly matched in skills and talent, the games were always close. The endings of these games were always nail-biters. Both teams had a excellent chance to win the game, and they put everything they had into winning it. Despite the stress, and sometimes even when being a fan of the team that ended up losing, these close games were the best kinds of games for the kids to play in, and for the people to watch. All of the team members from both teams, usually (even if just in secret) had great respect for each other, and for each other’s abilities. The players knew they had played other players who were excellent, and devoted players, and who were just as eager and fervent to excel and to win. Each player, at each position, brought out the best of their opponent, and they all became better players for challenging each other to play at the highest level of the game. Sometimes fights broke out during these tense games. Sometimes there were calls for cheating and rough play because the energy of the game was so cutthroat. Still, in their respective huddles, the teams appreciated the stealth and the abilities of their opponents. They knew that by playing the opposing team, in a hard won battle, they had become better players themselves, and they were grateful for the opportunity to grow and to improve. Often the players would learn techniques and strategies from each other’s plays, and utilize those techniques in their future competitions. There is no doubt, in my mind, that the hardest won games, the games that came down to the very wire, were the best for everyone involved (despite my shot nerves and quickly beating heart). I never doubted this fact, even during those tough times, when I had to cheer up my own defeated and discouraged player, on the long ride home.

“I’ve failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

“Do you know what my favorite part of the game is? The opportunity to play.” -Mike Singletary

Sports are a microcosm of society. - Billie Jean King

Break Up

Happy Election Day! Thankfully, I feel mostly detached and curious, more than anything. When I was in college, an American Politics professor of mine said something that really stuck out to me, and I never forgot it. He said, people spend way too much handwringing about national politicians, when it is your local politicians who really affect your every day life the most. Fortunately, for me, I don’t have a problem with my local politicians. I do wish safety, comfort, ease and hope for all of you, my beloved readers, no matter what your political leanings may be.

Today, one of my horoscopes told me to “break up with my image.” I think that is something which I have been doing for a while now, in this middle stage of my life. First of all, I am not even sure what my “image” is, to begin with. It’s always interesting and fascinating to me, when other people have ideas about you, and you think to yourself, “Wow, that’s not really “me” at all. That is the image I am projecting?!?” Still, I think that “Break up with your image,” is a good command to think about. Do I do things to keep up with “an image” or am I always true to myself? Do I have different “images” when I am with different people? Do I care too much about what other people think? Is my image more about other people’s projections on to me, than actually anything to do with the “real me”? Do I have a such a clear sense of self, that the word “image” almost becomes meaningless? It really is a good thing to ponder about and to meditate on, if one has the time and inclination to do it. You get a lot from reading your horoscopes, even if you think it’s all phooey.

Back to today’s matters, no matter what happens in the elections, life goes on. We are all going to be okay. I read this mantra the other day, and I liked it so well, I wrote it on a fancy piece of paper and I put it right in front on my computer where I write every day:

I CHOOSE TO MAKE THE REST OF MY LIFE, THE BEST OF MY LIFE

The choice is ours to execute the mantra stated above. The only life which we really have any kind of real meaningful voting power on, with almost every single choice ever made, is our own lives. As I oft repeat to my children, “An excellent life is made from a series of good decisions.” Choose well, my friends. Your life is precious. Make sure that it is in good hands.

Sea Legs

“As political opinions are swirling around us like dust devils, we need to stop to distinguish between opinions, beliefs, and our deep knowings.” – Anne Wilson Schaef

We went boating as a family yesterday. We are having a “stay-cation.” It was a wonderful, relaxing day. I even swam within about 8-10 feet of some rather curious, wild dolphins, which is truly an exhilarating experience.

I grew up boating on the three rivers of Pittsburgh. I spent a lot of time on those rivers with our family, driving the boat, water-skiing and relaxing, as we anchored in still waters and fished or just floated, watching other boats pass on by. In Pittsburgh, there we quite a few barges that go up and down the rivers and if you think that a barge looks enormous from the shore, I can’t even begin to describe how intimidating it is to witness a filled-to-the-brim, lumbering barge coming up on you, while you are trying to get a water skier out of the water and then trying to get the flooded engine turning, on a small motorboat. Do you remember that picture of Jaws coming up on the hapless water-skier? It’s just like that picture exactly, except that it is real. And really dangerous.

Boating isn’t all fun and games. Like many activities, there’s a whole lot more to it than there looks, and anyone who has boated for any length of time, has their share of mishap stories, ranging from mild happenings to near-death experiences. While these stories are retrospectively amusing to tell to other people, the events are actually quite terrifying and frustrating and harrowing, when happening in real-time. Sometimes you just sit back and thank your lucky stars, when you look back at your more intense boating excursions.

Yesterday, was actually a smooth sailing day on the water. There was no dangerous weather to race from, no chopped up props, no engine failures, no lost anchors and no drunken crazies to dodge. It was the kind of beautiful, relaxing boating day that keeps those of us who love boating, hooked on it. Other boating excursion days often prove to be a test to your marriage, your wallet, your faith in humanity and in your own sanity, but yesterday, was a boating day made in heaven.

I haven’t boated regularly since I was in my early twenties, until this summer, when we joined the boating club. I am happy to report, that just like bike riding, everything that you learned about boating comes back to you. Though rusty, I am actually pretty proud of my driving prowess, my knowledge of safety concerns, and my overall, sea legs. I also fully respect, how much more that I have to learn, the kind of learning that can only come from experience.

So, all of this backstory finally brings me about to my opening quote. My aunt and I were recently discussing how we both feel that we are at a loss with who to trust, what information to believe, and where we think all of the current problems in the world, are headed. All of the information coming to us, is so convoluted, politicized, emotionally laden, and multi-layered. The above quote was a great reminder for me, to stop and take the time to reflect. Just like boating, I can listen to others’ opinions on navigation and weather, with an eye to how much I actually trust that person’s opinions based on their own experience and their actions. I can also examine my own beliefs which have come about and evolved from my own experiences and influences, and then most importantly, I can listen to my gut inclinations and my inner knowledge. My intuition and my deep knowing is a culmination of everything I have learned and experienced (my outside wisdom that comes from my life experiences) and my faith in myself and my God. That inner voice is quiet and serene, but it never steers me wrong.

The next time that I go boating I will rely on the mix of other people’s opinions (from boat captains whose experience and knowledge and intentions, I trust), my own beliefs about what I need to do, which comes from my own experience on the water, and I will have faith in my gut reactions and unthinking responses to any travails that may come my way. If I stop to really ponder this formula of three, I should have another delightful boating experience under my belt. If I give myself this pause to ponder opinions, beliefs, and deep knowings, in any situation in life, my journey will undoubtedly get me safely, to my destinations, and at the same time, I will enjoy the voyage, all along the way.