Tag: plumbing

More Carrots

“Whenever I get discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words of my then 3 year-old after she puked carrots all over the living room floor: “I’m gonna need more carrots.” – Jessica Valenti

Out of the mouths of babes! Our three-day weekend was taken up by a lot of our hot water pipes being replaced in our house. Today, we start interviewing drywall people. Yesterday, in a fit of frustration, I insisted that my husband and I drive around town, looking at neighborhoods that we may want to settle in, when our daughter heads to college, in about a year. I was angry at my house. I felt let down. They say that comparison is the thief of happiness, but yesterday that proved false. Kind of like “the country mouse” in the fable of “The Country Mouse and The City Mouse”, I felt a new sense of relief and appreciation and comfort, when we arrived back home, from our drive around town. Just like my body, my home may be getting a little worn down, but its bones are good, it has beautiful views of its surroundings, and it is filled with love. For now, we stay put. Maybe all that we really need to do, is to plant some carrots in our garden.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love. 

Oh Sh*t

“Apologize when you are wrong, not when you feel insecure or embarrassed.”

I saw this quote on the internet the other day. I have touched on this subject before here at Adulting- Second Half. (when you write a blog every single day for years on end, that tends to happen. Just as my kids roll their eyes, as I repeat the “same old stories”, I see that it is happening here at the blog, too.) Still, this one bears repeating. And I won’t apologize for it.

Years ago, a friend told me that I apologize too much. She said, instead of apologizing, say, “Thank you for your patience with my repeating the same themes in my blog.” (just an example) It was advice that has stuck in my mind, for years and I try to utilize it.

When I get nervous, I repeat myself or I ask the same questions a gazillion times. Yesterday, the hot water pipes broke underneath the tile and our kitchen cabinets. Yay. About 200 times before the sun rose in the sky, I asked my husband if he was going to call a plumber. Of course, he was going to call a plumber. My husband is a responsible man, and he didn’t want this to turn into a bigger mess than it had to be, either. I know this. But unconsciously, I asked him, out loud, 200 times if he was going to call a plumber. It is my way of self-soothing. It is my way to reassure myself. The question was just a substitution for “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.”

So, when my husband (quite understandably) lost his patience with my questioning, I did not apologize. I just explained that I understand that my nervous habit would be aggravating and I will try to work on it, but he knows, after being married to me for over 26 years, that old habits die hard. And I gave him the same explanation that I explained to you about my quirky compulsion, in the paragraph above. And then I alluded to some of his quirks, that I have chosen to live with, because the overall package of him, more than makes up for, a few little annoying idiosyncrasies that are addendums to an otherwise amazing person.

I think that we will start talking to each other again tomorrow. (wink)

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love. (this will be the daily mantra of the blog, for the rest of this year.)