Bait Fish

Image result for pictures of baitfish being nibbled at by many fish

Fortune for the day – “Luck never made a person wise.” – Seneca

My friend’s husband made a wonderful, easy to visualize analogy the other day. He said that this is one of those times of the year that many of us start to feel like bait fish, with a thousand little have-tos, annoyances, self-created problems and projects, appointments, trips to plan, work issues, tax issues, health issues, house issues etc. etc. nibbling at us, tearing us apart, one teeny bite at a time. If you look at those poor bait fish in the picture above, they certainly aren’t faring that well, at all. I suppose the same could be said about us, when we let our lives swim out of control.

Similarly, I once read that if you dream that you have little bugs crawling all around you or on you, you are having one of those bait fish moments, in your life. (or if it’s a really lucid dream, check your bed closely, for bed bugs) These types of dreams signify that you probably have too many things on your mind, too many things coming at you from every direction possible, and your subconscious is trying to get your attention to simplify, using a dramatic, disturbing, creepy, crawly bug dream to wake you up to your living reality that is currently just too much to handle, right now, for you.

Peter McWilliams said this, “You can have anything you want, but you can’t have everything you want . . .. . Living on this planet has some down-to-earth limitations. First we can put our body in only one place at a time. Second there are only 24 hours a day, 365 (or 366) days per year. Third, the human lifetime is only so long (150 years seems to be tops). . . . The limitations become even more severe when we consider the time we spend on maintenance: sleeping, washing, eating – and some of us even have to make money to pay for all of that.”

He also said this, “You can have anything you want. Pick what you want most and if it’s available, if it doesn’t already belong to someone else (who wants to keep it) – you can have it. . . . The catch? The more unobtainable the “want” you want, the more you must sacrifice to get it. It’s not that you can’t have it, it’s that you’ll have to give up many and maybe all other things.”

I am seeing this phenomenon happening with my middle son right now. He aspires to go to medical school. He is a junior in college. He is trying to balance keeping his grades up, studying for the MCAT, making money being a teaching assistant, keeping a healthy relationship with his girlfriend, and still trying to stay physically robust and strong. He lamented to me recently that this has been his least favorite semester in college. He has had to forgo almost all of his social life with his fraternity and unlike most of his friends, he is coming home for his spring break, to focus entirely on studying for the MCAT, the test that largely determines, if and where, you will attend medical school. There are no guarantees, at this point. My son and I talked about how his dreams and his future are worth this sacrifice, as hard as it is to “miss out” right now.

As McWilliams states, “At a certain point in most everyone’s life – rich, poor, organized, or scattered – the wants outnumber the available hours in the day. At that point, a want must go a-wanting. . . . The solution is preventative: choose carefully at the outset. Be grateful that, although you can’t have everything, some very nice anythings await your selection.”

Perhaps if you are feeling “buggy” or “bait fishy” right now, it is time to become more selective and choosy as to where you are putting your time and your energy. There is always time for brief pauses to breathe, to reflect, to let go, and to reset. If you don’t take those pauses for yourself, those pauses of consideration, those pauses that are making sure that you are living your priorities, then sometimes major pauses, will be forced upon you, by a worn out body, or a neglected partner, or a frustrated boss, or a mental breakdown, etc. etc. Be a healthy fish. Swim in clearer water, with a vision of what you want your place in the pond to look like – the place that is perfect for you. Let go of the rest.

I am . . . .

I have been reading a very interesting book entitled You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought by Peter McWilliams. It’s one of those books that you don’t need to read cover to cover, but more so, you flip through it, for daily doses of inspiration. One of the first chapters I “flipped to” was the chapter on purpose, mostly because the cover says that this particular chapter changed Oprah Winfrey’s life. A life changer for Oprah Winfrey, has got to be an interesting read, for sure. I am still digesting what I read about what McWilliams says about purpose, so I am not sure that this chapter has altered my life just yet, but it has made me think, and think deeply and more clearly. Here are some of his thoughts on finding your purpose:

“A purpose can be summed up in just a few words. It usually begins, ‘I am . . . ‘ It’s a simple but powerful statement about why you’re here and what you are here to do.”

“You have been fulfilling your purpose your whole life, even if you don’t consciously know what your purpose is. A purpose is not a goal. . . . . a purpose is fulfilled in every moment.”

Some examples of purposes: “I am a joyful explorer.” “I am a lover of life.” “I am a servant of spirit.” “I am a giver of happiness.” “I am a servant of humanity.”

A purpose is general enough to fit many situations, but specific enough to fit you perfectly. “I am a student of life” might fit almost anyone. “I am a festive student of life” might be you.

You may want your life to go in a certain way. That is not necessarily your purpose. Statements about what you want are called affirmations. Your purpose is what you are already doing. . . A purpose indicates both movement and direction.

To discover your purpose, begin my telling yourself, “I want to know my purpose.” . . . Look back on your life. Write down the words (uplifting ones, please) that describe the activities and general thrust of your life thus far . . . . A purpose is not something that you create, it’s something you discover. . . . .Once you know your purpose, it becomes a golden divining rod. When you are wondering, “Should I do this or should I do that?” look to your purpose. . . . .Once you know your purpose, you have answered the time-honored question, “Why am I here?”

When you bring yourself more in line with your purpose – in an involved, active way – you may notice that your energy flows more freely, the blocks and the tensions in your body release, you become more active, vibrant, and alive – healthier.”

Peter McWilliams does not recommend sharing your purpose with anyone, should they cast doubts for you. Your purpose is a very personal thing. Perhaps it is best said by another wonderful writer about purpose:

“It’s not what you do, but how much love you put into it that matters.”
― Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here for?

Fortune for the Day – “The days are gods, only no-one suspects it.” – Emerson