Tag: oprah

Gift Ideas

I think what I have been most jealous about men, throughout my life, is that they don’t seem to worry nearly as much as we women do, about what other people think. I just finished watching a wonderful Oprah Insider video which featured an author and psychotherapist, Lori Gottlieb. She said this: “Guilt is not part of the X chromosome.” The audience of mostly women, laughed knowingly and appreciatively. Gottlieb’s point is that society has conditioned women to believe that other people’s feelings are our responsibility, and so we take on what is called “emotional load/labor” on top of all of the other caretaking duties that often end up disproportionately in our laps.

Interestingly though, because we women often believe that we are responsible for other people’s feelings, we tend to get really controlling about the narrative. We try to control what other people think about us, or about situations, instead of just accepting and allowing other people to think what they think, and to feel what they feel. In this regard, men tend to be better at “Live and let live.” Men don’t seem to get their self-worth from what other people think about them, nearly as much as we women do. Men get their self-worth from what they think about themselves, and my hunch is that they aren’t nearly as hard on themselves, as we women tend to be on ourselves.

I don’t mean to generalize. This is just a theme that has been playing out lately in my life, when talking to friends who are women, and with shows and podcasts I have listened to recently. Perhaps a beautiful holiday gift we could give to ourselves, is to stop worrying so much about what other people think, and put all of that energy back into what we think is best for ourselves. And at the same time, a beautiful holiday gift that we could give to others, is the acceptance that they are free to think what they think, and to feel what they feel, without interference from our desperate need to control the narrative.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Oprah Winfrey is doing a series on teens and technology. These are some excerpts from the series:

“The reality is that teens are dealing with things that we in previous generations never had to: the dangers of social media, the pressures of selfie culture, the relentless pull of our smartphones.

One of my guests was Jonathan Haidt, an NYU professor and author of the new bestseller The Anxious Generation. His book spells out how Generation Alpha, as they’re known, are paying a hefty price for being the first to grow up with this technology. As Haidt explains it, “We are overprotecting our kids in the real world and underprotecting them online.” Where once kids would go out to meet friends and come home when the streetlights flickered on, they’re now kept “safe” at home, where they’re sucked into their harmful screens.

My other guest was Dr. Becky Kennedy, who has a devoted following for her parenting insights. She had everyone in our audience nodding in agreement when she said: “Kids have been spending more time on their phones, which…is a world of instant gratification with no effort.” As a result, they’ve missed out on “experiencing the grit of the real world, in which you have to put in a lot of effort for delayed gratification at best.” ”

May we, of all ages, remember the healing properties of the natural “real” world, versus the pull of the tech world which we are all sucked into, on a daily basis. May we all find a healthy balance in our lives and may we easily be able to sustain it. May we never underestimate our roots in the natural world.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2207. What has been your worst haircut/style?

Tuesday Muse-day

Happy Passover to my Jewish friends and readers!

+ I watched an Oprah special recently where she mentioned that an expert told her that when we enter the empty nest, we go from the role of “manager” to the role of “consultant”. It’s a tough transition, sometimes. When we were managers, our children had to take our direction, or face the “dire” (tongue-in-cheek) consequences. As their consultants, they can choose to follow our directions or not. As I have been transformed into a “consultant” for a while now (our eldest son is 28), I am often pleasantly surprised to see two things: My adult children actually seem to (sometimes) want my advice, and sometimes they even actually follow it. And even better: My children sometimes don’t follow my advice, and as the results show, their own decisions were the right ones to make. It’s good to see that my babies have good minds of their own.

+ I love this quote that I read yesterday. I think that it describes the idea of “free will” better than any other way I have seen it written or explained. “Somewhere inside we hear a voice. It leads us into the direction of the person we wish to become. But it is up to us whether or not to follow.” – Pat Tillman (who left the NFL to serve in Afghanistan, where he died in 2004)

+ “Our deepest fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasure.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Today’s a seriously serious Full Moon. It’s in Scorpio which is a sign that goes deep and gets real. It’s never afraid to look into the dark shadows. The ancients believed that full moons were times of deep transformation and letting go of what no longer serves you. Scorpio is associated with the phoenix rising from the ashes. This is a perfect day to figure out what needs to be let go of, or transformed in your own life. What activities and experiences (people, places and things) in your own life give you inspiring, loving life energy, and which of these things deplete your life energy and make you feel small? Perhaps making a list of your energy givers, versus your energy depleters will help you to get real with where transformation and change is needed, in order to fill your life with more that “fills” you. Listen deeply for that voice inside of you to shed light on the shadows. Then make small changes in the direction towards the person you wish to become.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

948. Do you spend too much time pleasing others to your own detriment?

Easy Friday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Discover and share the most beautiful images from around the world | Friday quotes funny, Its friday quotes, Happy friday quotes

Good morning! You have landed on Friday! What a wonderful place to be! On Fridays, I keep it light and airy and on the surface. On Fridays, here at the blog, I call it “Favorite Thing Friday” and I list a thing or two (songs, books, products, foodstuff, etc.) that has made my life more interesting and fun. Please check out more favorites from previous Friday posts and please share some of your own favorites in my Comments section.

I’m feeling really good and lighter this morning. Last night was the high school tennis banquet, and as the de facto team mom, I was mostly in charge of planning and executing. It went really well. It was a warm, special night for my daughter and her coach and her teammates and their parents and we all enjoyed it a lot, and now, it is off my plate and out of my mind. Phew! One of my most favorite feelings in life is that of satisfaction and relief! And I have been cycling through those feelings a lot lately, as my daughter’s senior year in high school is quickly coming to its close. It’s exhilarating and exhausting. Emotional fatigue is real. Thank you, weekend, for arriving just in time!!!

One of my favorite accounts on Twitter is wise connector (@wiseconnector). Today he asked his followers to list instantly recognizable lines from movies. If you don’t think that writing is all that important nor makes much of an impact, that thought will change when you see some of these iconic lines that have become part of our everyday vernacular. Wouldn’t you love to be the writer who whenever he or she hears one of these lines, smiles knowingly to themselves, and say, “Yep, I wrote that line! That was me.” Here are some of these famous movie lines. I am sure that you can come up with plenty more:

“I’ll be back.”

“I’ll have what she’s having.”

“Show me the money!”

“I’ll be your huckleberry.”

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

“You had me at hello.”

“You can’t handle the truth!”

“Life is like a box of chocolates . . . .you’ll never know what you’re going to get.”

“I’ll give you an offer that you can’t refuse.”

“Things you own, end up owning you.”

“Here’s looking at you, kid.”

And here is my favorite material thing of the day. I was in one of my favorite Ace Hardware stores. By the way, I love Ace Hardware stores. They make me feel like I am stepping back in time a little bit. From the people in red jackets that pop out of everywhere and who make you feel like they actually do want to help you, to their beautiful flower selections, and on to their giant, kitschy, impulse item section right by their registers (that area was created for people like me), I just love Ace Hardware stores. Anyway, speaking of the impulse buy section, the other day, they had a whole stand of really adorable, stylish, yet sturdy readers. These readers are made by a company called Optimum Optical. My favorite pair that I purchased (yes, I purchased more than one) is a chunky blue pair of readers that reminds me of the glasses Oprah Winfrey seems to wear a lot. The style of the blue pair is called “Metropolitan.” They also come with a really nice pouch that doubles as a lens cleaner and they were only $16.99 each.

And I’ll end today’s post with this:

” Good Morning, and if I don’t see ya, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and Good Night!” (The Truman Show)