This is the first year in a long while that I don’t have any “major biggies” right outside of my starting gate. Last year was our daughter’s senior year in high school. Our daughter is the youngest child of four kids. My mantra was “Finish Strong” and as I gazed at my 2022 calendar there were already dates filled with prom, tennis tournaments, college acceptance dates, graduation, a mother/daughter trip, etc. I started 2022 with a stomach full of dizzy, erratic butterflies and a planned up schedule with no time to think. The only plan was to execute “the plan” and to “Finish Strong.”
The first part of 2022 was focused on getting our daughter settled at her own starting gate of adulthood. The second part of 2022 was supposed to be about getting settled into our own empty nest, but a lot of happenings started occurring, right around June that took up most of our time and attention: my mother-in-law became quite ill before she passed a couple of weeks ago, our youngest son decided to graduate early from college, and so, as I ponder things, I realize that I ended up finishing this past year still feeling a little bit “unfinished.” The dizzy, erratic butterflies decided to stay with me all year long and those little buggers can be quite distracting.
I could be wrong, but it feels like the butterflies have flown on for now. Maybe they are just sleeping, but right now, I think I am where I thought I would be this past June. I am only now at the true starting gate of our empty nest. I did “Finish Strong” last year. And it finally feels like I am where I thought I would be in the middle of last year: at the starting gate of Part III of the book of my life. I have a wide open slate and it feels daunting and exciting all at the same time. I wanted to end this post with a play on the mantra “Finish Strong” so I looked up synonyms for “strong” so that I could write “Start Strong” as my mantra, but with more cache. “Start Forceful”? “Start Tough”? “Start Solid”? Interestingly, “in fine feather” was listed as one of the synonyms. “Start in fine feather.” This resonated with me. The angsty little butterflies who were with me all of last year have finally flown on, and now I too can follow into this next stage of my life, “in fine feather.” To me, “in fine feather” is not too bold, but instead sounds confident, excited, quirky, fun and anticipatory. Today truly feels like the first day of this next stage of my life. Today, I start this next leg of my journey in fine feather.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.