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Loyalty and Steadfastness

I couldn’t sleep. I am writing this in the wee, wee hours of the night, or perhaps, I am writing this is in the early morning. I’m not sure. I haven’t even looked at the clock. As Thanksgiving is beckoning us, right around the corner, I find myself bathed in gratitude. Our children, the ones who still “live” with us, are all safely tucked into their beds, under our one roof. I know that our eldest son, though grown and far away, is safe and content. We texted each other a few times today. I know that I am loved. I am so fortunate to have cherished family, and friends, and pets, and I have you, my treasured readers. Now, I realize that a lot of my readers are also my known family and friends (whose loyalty I am utterly grateful for – I love you so much. Thank you.), but I also understand that a lot of you, my precious readers, are people who I have never, ever met in my “real” life, yet I treasure you. Know this. I treasure you. I feel so much purpose in writing this blog every single day, and the fact that you actually take precious time out of your days to read my blog, means the world to me. Know this. I treasure that fact. I treasure you.

The seasonal winter holidays are here. In some ways, that is a wonderful thing. In some ways, that it is also a hard thing. With the holidays, comes a lot of nostalgia. Some people love nostalgia. I don’t, really. Nostalgia is something that I can only take in small doses. Some people love to pour over old pictures and videos and memory books. I honestly don’t like to do too much of those activities. My feelings run deep. And Nostalgia is a heady stew of spiced up feelings that proves to be too much for me, when served in heaping bowls. I like spoonfuls of nostalgia, here and there. Spoonfuls or smatterings of nostalgia are enough for me. Otherwise, I mostly try to stay in the moment. I know that the every day moments (the moments, that surprisingly often, end up being the game changer moments in life) will continue to pile up into a big pile of nostalgia in the memory bank of my heart, which I will always be able to spoon off of, whenever needed. Just a smattering, please.

If you are like me, and the holidays are great in some ways, but in other ways, the holidays can be a sensory overload, I promise to be steadfast. I promise to write this blog every single day throughout the holidays, unless I can no longer think, nor write. Even if you don’t like what I write, you can always rely on me. I am a rock in your life. What else is steadfast and loyal in your life? Even if you don’t have steadfast and loyal family, friends and pets, then you definitely have the sun, and the moon, and the stars, and nature, and music, and institutions like clean water and electricity and mail and garbage pick-up, and your place of peace or worship, and your library, and Google and Amazon and Walmart and McDonalds. You have God, and you have the angels. You do. You don’t have to believe it, but you do.

The holidays are steadfast. They come every single year, no matter what kind of year it has been for us, personally or communally. There is something to be said for that – there is something to be said for those people, places and things, that you can always rely on to be there, no matter what. Loyalty and steadfastness are beautiful traits. You have given these honorable gifts to me, my loyal and steadfast readers, and thus I give them back to you, with earnest respect and a brimming, grateful heart. I am here for you. Check in here, every single day of the holiday season, and just breathe. Know that you are loved and know that you are appreciated, because you are, by me. You are not alone. Thank you, always, for your presence and your attention. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Monday Fun-Day

Happy Monday-Fun-day! It’s just too easy to online shop these days, isn’t it? Yesterday, I managed to break a bright red bottle of nail polish on the floor of our recently remodeled laundry room. It splattered everywhere. It looked like a horrific murder scene. My husband had to stop his grilling (a recently reacquainted past passion of his), in order to help me to clean it all up, in a big hurry. It’s moments like these when you realize that you have married the right person. He was really kind and good-natured about the whole fiasco and we got it cleaned up more easily than I had hoped. Partners in crime, for better or for worse.

Home Sweet Home

I think one of the most fantastic things about travelling, is coming home with a new appreciation and new eyes on how good home is, and how good home feels. And I had an absolutely wonderful time in the mountains. My time in the mountains cemented in me the feeling that I may even want to spend a good portion of my retirement years in the mountains. Still, as I sit in my comfortable writing nook, as the Florida sunshine gleams in from every window, trying to make its way into every corner of our house that it possibly can, I feel so good. I feel so grateful. I feel so refreshed.

When you come home from a trip, your own bed holds you in a comforting embrace like no other. Your familiar things pop out at you, like adoring fans, quietly shimmering and shaking their hands to get your attention. I think that you harmonize with your home in such a natural way that you don’t even realize it, until you take a little break from the synchronicity of it all. And then you come home, and you fit yourself into that little empty space of the puzzle, and all is well. Everything feels right. The picture is complete. The magnetic pull between you and all of your familiar things and sounds and scents and surroundings, keeps your own little private galaxy dazzling, and afloat. I realize that I have big love for home and I thank my intermittent trips for reminding me of that fact.

TOP 17 ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER QUOTES | A-Z Quotes

Three Things

When I was a child, my grandmother passed on the superstition to me that “everything happens in threes”. Sometimes this lead to fearful anticipation. If something really bad happened, it gave me the idea that there was more to come, but there was also a feeling of great relief when the third of a frightful situation or sequence occurred. You could breathe a deep sigh of relief that the worst of all of it was over.

This idea of occurrences happening in threes comes from the Latin “omne trium perfectum” which means everything that comes in threes is perfect, or everything that happens in threes is complete. Scientists say that we have a tendency to group and categorize things that are actually unrelated. They call this “apophenia”. I personally like my superstitions. They give me a sense of comfort and control. I always feel like I can handle three. Three gives me a beginning, a middle and a definitive finale. Most lessons can be fully understood and incorporated, after three experiences or teachings.

A lot of good things happen in threes, too. Three is many people’s “lucky number”. I purchased a gorgeous coaster depicting three koi fish from a quaint gift shop a couple of days ago. I love it and I have always considered three koi fish to be a fortuitous symbol. I am sitting here, peacefully writing, as I gaze out of the window, looking at a gorgeous, green valley, sitting calmly next to a clear, flowing river, with a majestic mountain top in the background. My three loyal dogs are at my feet. Morning, noon, and night, my life flows on.

Sarah Kay Quote: “Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things and always apologize when you've done something wrong but ...” (11 wallpapers) - Quotefancy

TY Vets

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I am in a beautiful part of a beautiful country right now. I took a peaceful morning walk, in wooded bliss, with our three dogs who seem to think that they have died and gone to doggy heaven. I walked along a lush carpet of wet, colored leaves with my bare feet, something that I haven’t done in a long, long time. I feel utter peace and awe right now. It is not lost on me that I am able to do this, in part, because of the selflessness of brave men and brave women who have served, and some of them have even given their lives, in order to protect the freedoms of our great nation. I greatly respect and honor all of you. I am in total gratitude to all of you who have served the United States of America. You are our blessing. I extend a special shout out to my grandfathers, my father, my father-in-law, my sister-in-law, my uncle and my cousin who have all served in our steadfast military. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Simple Truth

“Simply put, there are 10 things to do regularly to increase your resistance to stress: Get enough sleep. Eat right. Exercise often. Dress for the weather. Express yourself. Practice daily pleasure. Look for the good. Cultivate a support system. Love them. Let them love you back.” – Holiday Mathis

Last night as we were finishing up a delicious, nutritious dinner, I nonchalantly asked my husband if our daughter had texted us that she had made it to her tennis lesson. Out of all four of our children, my daughter has always been the best about texting us about reaching her various destinations safely. We even complimented her on that fact, before she left for tennis. It was about a half hour after the lesson would have started, when we realized that she had not texted us. I called my daughter’s phone which went straight to voicemail. I waited a few minutes and called it again. Once again, it went straight to voicemail. I called her instructor. No answer. I made a few more increasingly desperate calls vacillating between my daughter’s phone and her coach’s phone. With no answers from either, I could feel my hysteria rising. Without much notice to my husband, I jumped into my car and I headed up to the location where my daughter takes tennis lessons, about 20 minutes away. Rides like these, feel like they are dragging out into eternity. Patience and calm have never been my higher virtues. I was madly angry at every single driver in the cars in front of me, for actually following the rules of the road and for driving slowly and safely. I was incredibly relieved to see no accidents or police lights shining from the sides of the road, as I frantically scanned the areas surrounding me. My husband remained at home, but stayed on the phone with me for the entire ride, to calm my nerves and to remind me to drive safely. We noticed that the tracking app he shares with her was disabled for some reason. We talked to each other about the fact that even the most responsible teenagers forget to text sometimes. We reassured each other that our daughter most likely was fine, and she probably just didn’t hear her phone ringing from the courts. I felt tears choking up in the back of my throat as I drove like a madwoman to the courts. I prayed out loud. My convertible top was down, so I felt my prayers being carried into the wind. When I finally came to the long windy drive to take me to the tennis courts, I saw my daughter’s car. I saw her doing “her thing”, out on the courts.

“Is that your mom?!” I heard one of her fellow teammates say. (I’m guessing I had a slightly crazed look on my face and my hair does get a bit of a manic look when the convertible top is down. Retrospectively, I am seeing myself resembling Disney’s Cruella Devil, at this particular moment)

“Why didn’t you text us?!” I tensely, (but still trying to stay under control), low-key screamed to her.

“I did,” she said as she scrambled to look at her phone. “On crap, it says ‘failed to send’ “, sorry, Mom!”

Her instructor said that she had been avoiding the calls, because the tennis instructor didn’t recognize my number, and she had been bombarded with election calls that she had learned to ignore. She apologized profusely.

I breathed out one of the longest held-in breaths which I’ve had in a long, long while, I wiped my eyes and I carefully and slowly drove home to my husband’s waiting arms. Last night, when my daughter came home from her lesson, I gave her an especially long hug and a kiss goodnight. I didn’t want to let go.

Moral of the story: No matter what, it’s all going to be okay. We know how to take care of ourselves. We know how to take care of each other. Rarely is anything as bad as it seems. Just breathe. Follow the ten simple commands above, and we will do fine with anything that life throws at us. Life is mostly good. The odds are in our favor. This is true. Relax and breathe.

Break Up

Happy Election Day! Thankfully, I feel mostly detached and curious, more than anything. When I was in college, an American Politics professor of mine said something that really stuck out to me, and I never forgot it. He said, people spend way too much handwringing about national politicians, when it is your local politicians who really affect your every day life the most. Fortunately, for me, I don’t have a problem with my local politicians. I do wish safety, comfort, ease and hope for all of you, my beloved readers, no matter what your political leanings may be.

Today, one of my horoscopes told me to “break up with my image.” I think that is something which I have been doing for a while now, in this middle stage of my life. First of all, I am not even sure what my “image” is, to begin with. It’s always interesting and fascinating to me, when other people have ideas about you, and you think to yourself, “Wow, that’s not really “me” at all. That is the image I am projecting?!?” Still, I think that “Break up with your image,” is a good command to think about. Do I do things to keep up with “an image” or am I always true to myself? Do I have different “images” when I am with different people? Do I care too much about what other people think? Is my image more about other people’s projections on to me, than actually anything to do with the “real me”? Do I have a such a clear sense of self, that the word “image” almost becomes meaningless? It really is a good thing to ponder about and to meditate on, if one has the time and inclination to do it. You get a lot from reading your horoscopes, even if you think it’s all phooey.

Back to today’s matters, no matter what happens in the elections, life goes on. We are all going to be okay. I read this mantra the other day, and I liked it so well, I wrote it on a fancy piece of paper and I put it right in front on my computer where I write every day:

I CHOOSE TO MAKE THE REST OF MY LIFE, THE BEST OF MY LIFE

The choice is ours to execute the mantra stated above. The only life which we really have any kind of real meaningful voting power on, with almost every single choice ever made, is our own lives. As I oft repeat to my children, “An excellent life is made from a series of good decisions.” Choose well, my friends. Your life is precious. Make sure that it is in good hands.

Repeat of My Favorite Story

On the morning of my 26th wedding anniversary, I looked back at what I had written on the blog in previous years. I decided that I couldn’t do better than last year’s letter to my children. This one bears repeating. On a funny aside, last year, in order to celebrate our big Silver Anniversary, we each got brand new cars (the first brand new cars we have ever purchased, in the entirety of our marriage). In 2020, the cars have become fabulous decorations in their resting places in the garage and remain very low mileage cars. (not exactly what we had intended – lol)

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life! Here’s my letter:

Dear Children,

I want to tell you a story. I think that you may have heard variations of this story before, but it’s a good story. It’s worth hearing again. Once upon a time, about thirty years ago, an eighteen-year-old girl met a twenty-year-old boy, up on a hill, on the girl’s first weekend, away at college. The attraction between the boy and the girl was instant. There was a fiery pull towards each other from the very start. The relationship was young, so of course, it had its fair share of dramas and petty break-ups and make-ups, as many young relationships, made up of passionate, stubborn, youthful people, often do. But somehow, the Universe knew what it was doing, and it did its part to keep the magnetic pull between these two people, a stronger force than any other kind of force that would ever try to keep them apart. Twenty-five years ago, on this very day, these two young people got married and started out on what would become an amazing shared life adventure, one like they could never have imagined.

Marriages are a co-creation of life with Life. This marriage had many co-creations: the marriage relationship itself, four incredible children, adventures in moving and exploring and vacationing, shared extended family, shared friendships, cozy homes and gardens, shared pets, shared championing of and patience for, each other’s individual personal growth, shared adversity and painful moments, and shared triumphs and glories. That is what marriage is, shared Life. I think what made this particular union so successful and loving for all of these years, was that the boy and the girl (now a man and a woman) understood the most important part of that sharing, that part being a shared devotion and appreciation and understanding of each other’s sacrifices and commitments that make the union a strong, powerful force to be reckoned with. This union is a safe haven for them and for their children, to always be able to come home to, and to rest and to renew in its kind, empowering nourishment. Nothing was more important to the man or to the woman than what they had created together. They understood that about each other and thus, the man and the woman both felt fiercely loved and treasured and honored and cared for, and there is no better feeling in the world, than that feeling. It is everything that these two lovers want for their children and their grandchildren and for the generations to follow them.

This story is still playing out, but I think the moral of the story will remain the same. Believe in love. Live love as an action. Be in awestruck gratitude when you find someone who is willing to give to you every part of their very self, for the rest of their lives. Know that there is no greater gift that they could give to you. Honor and respect and reciprocate that gift. The gift of Love grows and grows when it is nurtured, and that blooming of Love is where the greatest treasure, out of all of Life’s wonderful treasures, is truly found.

I hope that you enjoyed this story, my dear loves. I know that it is my favorite story of all time and for all of eternity.

Make It Stop

Without getting political, this is why I can’t wait for this election to be over:

+According to the battling commercials, no matter who wins, we are doomed to the worst fates which any of us have ever endured. Having been through most of 2020, that says a lot. I don’t do well in waiting rooms, let’s just get it over with. 😉

+The national “Do Not Call” list does not work. I get several calls (landline and cellular) every single day from every single state which I have ever lived in, telling me who to vote for in the upcoming election, including all of the different various state representatives and local sheriffs and tax collectors (where I no longer live).

+I am sick of people telling me to vote. I voted. I always vote. I don’t think I have ever missed voting. I don’t like the presumptuous assumption of not voting, when people use the phrase, “Vote.”

+I am completely over having to carefully weigh my every word ,when it comes to any political “issue”. I am a Sagittarius. Sag’s number one fault is constantly putting our feet in our mouths. We are known to drop brutal truths on the daily. Lately I feel like I have to use my mask as a gag, in order to avoid upsetting or offending anyone, from any side of the coin. (I am guessing some of my friends and family think that the gag/mask idea is a good one for me.)

+Election years tend to highlight the worst in all of us. I am eager for us to come together and to start showing each other what is the best in all of us. I understand that when the election is over, this isn’t going to instantly change people into healthy collaborators with the ability to see all of the good in each other and in each other’s intentions, but at least there won’t be the huge national platform exacerbating everyone’s most angry, hateful, suspicious, demonizing sides, everywhere you look.

If you choose to add to my rant in my Comments, I welcome that – please just keep it general and apolitical.