Grief-Bacon

Hi friends! I hope that you had a nice, relaxing holiday weekend. I didn’t write a post this morning because I was out of the house, bright and early, as I strategically planned to get my major food shopping/paper supply hunting done this morning. I figured that probably, the day after Easter, the stores would be emptier of people, and even more sterile than usual, and it turns out that I was right. I also got the extra bonus of half-priced Easter candy. It is so strange to have to be strategic about grocery shopping and to have to go to four different stores, in order to find toilet paper. I’m still trying to get used to our “new normal.” My husband and I both noted that we are finally stringing a couple of nights in a row of decent sleep per week, so perhaps at least our bodies are taking stride with this new way of life, even if our minds aren’t there yet.

Speaking of food, my friend schooled a group of us friends, via text, the meaning for a new “word of the day.” The word is German. The word is “kummerspeck.” It means the excess weight you gain from emotional overeating. It’s literal translation is “grief-bacon.” I’ve been indulging in a lot of grief-bacon, lately and my cart was full of grief-bacon today. There is not an American expression that translates directly. We Americans like to be in denial about our grief-bacon.

The biggest thing that I’ve been pondering around in my mind lately, is the fact that since we are all (quite literally all of us, around the whole world), are going through this together, that this somehow makes the burden a little bit easier, mostly because everyone can relate to, and to empathize with the grief being felt by everyone. It’s a relief not to be singled out, in a way. Yet at the same time, it hurts so much, to see literally everyone you deeply care about, experiencing pain and fear and sadness and anxiety. It’s one of those situations in life that you would typically say that you wouldn’t wish on anyone, yet it is happening to everyone you know, to one degree or another. It’s a lot to process, isn’t it?

Anyway, I hope you didn’t worry about me. I am back in the saddle again. I promise to post earlier tomorrow morning. Stay well. Enjoy some Easter candy and try not to think about your grief-bacon.

Friday is Good

Dear Readers,

This is last year’s Good Friday post:

“Seek and You Will Find

Happy Friday, dear readers! Happy Good Friday!! In honor of the holiest days of the year in the Christian faith, I am going to take some time off from writing this weekend to enjoy some more just “being” and reflecting. Thank you for your loyalty and understanding. I treasure you, my readers. Have a wonderful, hopeful, redeeming, restful Easter weekend! I shall be back on Monday with more musings! In the words of Jesus:

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8 NIV“

I think that I am going to continue to honor this tradition of taking Easter weekend off from writing. To my Jewish readers, I hope that you experienced a meaningful, calming Passover and to my Christian readers, I wish the same for us, this holiday weekend. For all of my readers, whatever your religion is (or is not), I love you. I wish for you health, safety, peace, sanity, and a renewed sense of what being alive really means to you.

Please do not worry. I am well. I am with you. I think that I need some time to be quiet with myself, and Easter weekend seems like the most absolutely appropriate time to do this.

I will be back in verbose form, on Monday. I appreciate you, from the bottom of my heart. Happy Easter! I am going to end this post with one of the most reassuring verses from the Bible.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26

Arbitrary Reflections

Random thoughts of mine, on a rainy Monday during the coronavirus shutdown:

+Coronavirus is still brand new enough of a word that WordPress underlines it, as if it’s a misspelled word. I really wish that was all that coronavirus is – just a misspelled word. If only we could correct coronavirus, by spelling it differently.

+Three of my immediate family members have celebrated birthdays during this quarantine. Everyone has had the same response along with their well wishes, “This is a birthday that you will never forget!” We keep reminding our kids that they will be telling their grandchildren about these days, many years into the future.

+As a person who leans more towards being an introvert, my lifestyle hasn’t changed all that drastically. I just more hate having the constant underlying anxiety and the psychological toll that a lack of freedom, takes on me. As a person who also leans towards a lot of empathy, my heart hurts a lot, for my more extroverted family and friends, who have had so many plans and experiences stolen from them, from this awful scourge.

+I have an old burnt down candle that is one of my favorite aromas. I keep it on my desk and I smell it every morning, to make sure that I still have a good sense of smell. I like the reassurance and the false sense of security that this routine gives to me, along with imbibing zinc, echinacea, Vitamin C, tonic water (has quinine in it, which is considered anti-malarial) and my Green Vibrance. The “old wife” from “old wives’ tales” notoriety, comes out of me, hard, in times like these.

+My energy levels have dropped significantly. I can’t even seem to get myself to write my daily journal. Sometimes I just write “Quarantine Life” in big block letters on the day’s page in my journal. In Florida, a lot of cars have “Salt Life” stickers on their rear windows. Will they start making “Quarantine Life” stickers?

+There are a lot of really funny people (even if they aren’t great spellers) on Twitter, if you find the right hashtag. One of the funniest threads I saw over the weekend was #TerribleQuaratineAdvice, with quarantine spelled incorrectly. Some funny responses:

Speak openly and honestly with everyone who you are quarantined with.

When heading to the bank, wear a ski mask for protection.

Everyone should switch to a bean-based diet.

What you can’t see, can’t hurt you. Instead of a mask, wear a blindfold.

Play a hashtag game on Twitter, with obvious spelling mistakes.

Enjoy another day of Quarantine Life, friends and readers! I’ll see you tomorrow. Stay well!!!

Soul Sunday

Happy Birthday, to my wonderful eldest son! You made parenting so amazing and fulfilling, that we went on to have three more awesome children. I love you. I am proud of you. It’s killing me that you are so far away from me, but you’re doing great, enjoying your own company, during this pandemic. I can’t blame you. You are a joy to be with and to talk to and to gather good energy from, by you, just being you. You are one of the most authentic people I have ever known. You are the best company! Don’t ever change. Here’s a quote that I know that you will like:

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” – Kurt Cobain

So, my regular readers know that Sundays are poetry workshop days, here at Adulting – Second Half. On Sundays, I typically share a poem that I have written and I ask you to do the same in the Comments section. Today, I was inspired by something my husband read in the Wall Street Journal. Here are a couple of haikus, published in this weekend’s WSJ, by Nishant Choksi, describing/depicting our quarantine life: (Haikus are three lines, 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables)

Can’t work with children

Clinging to my every limb

I am a plaything!

________________________________________________________________________________________

I have measured out

This help-desk call in Cheez-its

Fifteen and counting

________________________________________________________________________________________

All day on the phone

Convincing Boomer parents

To please, please stay home

________________________________________________________________________________________

Here’s my stab at it:

________________________________________________________________________________________

Keeping up with news

Is exhausting and scary

But I just can’t stop

________________________________________________________________________________________

Home Sweet Home, they say

And that’s generally true

Until you are stuck

________________________________________________________________________________________

Try some haiku poems of your own, friends! They are fun! Take care. I am wishing you peace, health and sanity. (I’ve had a lot of people wishing us sanity, lately. I’m not going to take it personally. 😉 )

The Rainbow Connection

Happy birthday, to the love of my life, my husband, my adventurer in co-parenting, and the co-creator of my most fun adventures and greatest joys! There is no other person in the world who I would rather be quarantined with, and I know how lucky I am to feel this way. Of course, I am also greatly looking forward to being “un-quarantied” with you, too, so that we can continue with even more wondrous adventures than ever!

To be clear, my husband and I, and our children, are well, so far. I am not sure what the word is, for the current lifestyle which we are all leading these days, but other than dog walks and very occasional grocery trips, we stay home. It sure as hell feels like a quarantine to me. But if our current lifestyle helps to save even just one life, than it is of little concern to us. Of course, we want to do our part to tamp down this horrific virus, anyway that we can.

The pictures below are of my beautiful collie, Josie. Her favorite spot in the house is lying on the cold, smooth, tile floor. She is very strategic about how she lines herself up. She likes to be in the direct line of rainbows.

They say that we learn much more from children and animals than we ever teach them. Children and animals trust their innate connection to the rhythms of life much better than we do. They don’t have a “programmed up” brain, full of stories and explanations and constant voices and hang-ups about “the shoulds”, like we adult humans do. Today, I wish for me, and for my birthday boy, and for all of us, really, the peace and the contentment that I see and that I feel emanating from Josie, when she lies in direct connection with her rainbows – those beautiful, calming colors sent from above, surrounding her and surrounding us and everything on earth, even when there isn’t a prism to remind us that the light is always there.

“Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That’s the problem.” ― A.A. Milne

“How it is that animals understand things I do not know, but it is certain that they do understand. Perhaps there is a language which is not made of words and everything in the world understands it. Perhaps there is a soul hidden in everything and it can always speak, without even making a sound, to another soul.” ― Frances Hodgson Burnett

“Animals are born who they are, accept it, and that is that. They live with greater peace than people do.” ― Gregory Maguire

“Animals are the bridge between us and the beauty of all that is natural. They show us what’s missing in our lives, and how to love ourselves more completely and unconditionally. They connect us back to who we are, and to the purpose of why we’re here.” ― Trisha McCagh

Give Me Some Sugar

My friend texted this to our group chat this morning. I know that I typically go for funnier memes on my favorite day of the week, but I think that I have a little “PTSD” type thing going on, after making an early morning excursion to my grocery store. I never in a million years dreamed that I would have to “psych myself up” to make a trip to my own little neighborhood grocery store. Lately, I tend to get there once, every 7-10 days, whereas before, being a mother of a large brood, I often made a daily trip to our store (sometimes even twice daily). I had to wait outside of my store this morning around 7:55 a.m., probably about 20th in line, before it even opened. I was the last one to score some toilet paper. My hats off, once again, to the wonderful workers at the stores. The managers, the clerks, the bakers, and the baggers were so patient, courteous and kind. I asked if Publix was taking good care of them and they assured me that the company was doing right by them. Thank you, Publix.

New readers, I call Fridays, Favorite Things Friday. I don’t try to get too serious on Fridays, so I’ll try to keep with that light-hearted tradition, as we go through this truly surreal experience, together. Please look at previous Friday posts for more favorites. This week, I decided to start a weekly movie night with the family on Thursdays, while we are all quarantined together. I would have made ” Family Movie Night” a more frequent event, but the rest of the family seemed to think that once a week, is what works best. (Baby steps) Last night was the inaugural night and we watched a fascinating documentary. It is called Searching for Sugarman. It tells the story about an American musician named Rodriguez who became incredibly famous (more than even The Beatles or Elvis) in South Africa in the 1970s, without knowing it. It was a fascinating watch and even better, I discovered some new excellent music (and the lyrics are pure poetry) for my playlist. So here is my favorite new music. Give these tunes a listen (“I Wonder” is my ultimate favorite, second on the play list):

I’m also in the middle of reading a fascinating book. Ironically, it was also written by a South African. It is called The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life by Boyd Varty. I won’t get into a synopsis of the book. I think I’ll just take you into the weekend with my favorite quote from the book. The quote requires some rumination. Take care, dear friends. We’re in this together. Have a peaceful, fulfilling weekend. Here’s the quote:

“I don’t know where I’m going, but I know exactly how to get there.” – Boyd Varty

#Everyday Heroes

If you are like me, struggling to find ways to be helpful throughout this crisis, I thought that these were wonderful ideas. So, I copied these peoples’ thoughtfulness and put out a little box of goodies today, by our front door. These pictures were found on Twitter with #ThanksForDelivering trending.

I stopped off at a local Walgreens yesterday to see if they had any toilet paper. They didn’t. Of course. I bought some laundry detergent and I waited patiently behind a blue tape line several feet away from the cashier who now stands several feet away from the counter. The cashier is a woman who has waited on me before, so we got to talking. I asked her if she ever thought that her job would end up being one of the bravest, most stressful, through this whole ordeal. She replied that she hadn’t really thought of it that way, but she was doing okay. She did say that she looked in the mirror every morning, and noticed an exponential quickening of her aging process.

We are blessed by having heroes all around us, through this pandemic. Of course, our doctors, nurses and health practitioners are tireless heroes. Our soldiers, police officers, fire fighters and first responders are amazing heroes. Our political leaders, having to make quick and wide-sweeping decisions, at the blink of an eye, are awe-inspiring heroes. Our teachers, having to change the course of their lessons from “in-person” to on-line, in very short notice, are truly heroes. Our journalists and photojournalists, bravely going out to get the straight stories, on the depressing front lines are heroes. Our grocery store/drug store personnel are incredibly brave and dutiful heroes. And our delivery drivers, probably busier than ever, putting fear to the side, to do their jobs, so that the rest of us can do our duty, to mostly stay at home, are magnificent heroes. We are so blessed to be surrounded by every day angels, who are just people – people, just like you and me. And sadly, it took this awful coronavirus crisis, for us to fully understand and to appreciate this truth. I am so grateful to have my eyes opened to the every day angels, who support my life, in normal times and also, in the hardest times of all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Soul Sunday

It struck me the other day that this is probably the first time in my life when I have actually felt more vulnerable due to my age. I’m approaching 50. This “dawning” was a middle age turning point for me. It was one of those awakening moments that reminded me that I really am headed into the autumn of my life. My heart goes out to you all who are in your 60s and beyond. It must be terrifying, at times, concerning the coronavirus. I feel for you.

Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. Please publish your poems in my Comments section. This is a poetry workshop, where we should all feel safe to share, our free flow of thoughts. Here’s my poem for the day:

The Trick

Who knew that we were all part of a fantastic illusion?

We were the white rabbits and the silk scarves,

in a grand sleight of the hand.

We thought that we were in on the trick,

Winking, knowing how the “magic” works.

We, as lovely assistants, sometimes smirked at the Magician,

Sneered at the fools in the audience,

Only to be brought to our knees,

By a horrific force, too tiny to even be seen.

Now we are all in this together,

Humbled by the unknown,

No longer wishing to just be entertained,

No longer full of pride and disdain,

Just praying for the real magic to fix this all,

In order for us to be wholly healed,

Sewing together all of our parts that have been sawed apart,

And for the trick to be over, so that the real magic can begin . . .

Capeless Heroes

I don’t have the right words today. I have so many large emotions swirling all around my mind and my body. I tend to lash out angrily when I don’t have my balance. I don’t want to do that on my blog. It isn’t helpful.

Here’s what I’m grateful for today: my faith in an all-powerful, all-wise God/Universe, my family and our health, my friends, being in my comfortable home, the beautiful sunshine, our dedicated health workers and first responders and scientists and business heads and all of the world’s leaders tasked with helping us to find the quickest and safest path out of this mess (I’m hating having to make the “bad guy” decisions like scrapping vacation plans and telling my middle son that he can’t see his girlfriend (of 3+ years), until she is home and quarantined for 14 days. I can’t imagine the stress and pain and uncertainty our leaders are feeling, as they make difficult, overwhelming decisions on a daily basis), music, nature, swinging around in my daughter’s hammock, being able to face-time our eldest son, our dogs, fish and guinea pigs, wild birds, grass, kindness (I read a story about a quarantined single mom and kids in Norway who reached out on social media, and asked strangers to make her kids’ birthdays special, while quarantined, by sending them birthday cards. They have been inundated with greeting cards from all over the world, some of them artistic master pieces!), soap (luckily I’ve always been a soap hoarder, because I love great smelling soap), on-line capabilities for work, school and shopping, delivery people, coffee, learning to appreciate home-cooked family meals again, candles, a less-packed calendar, people keeping their sense of humor during difficult times, watching the wind mildly shake the palms, water, the rough times which I have gone through, before in my life, that have helped me to keep perspective, to be more even-keeled and less anxious now . . . . .

What are you grateful for today? Please tell me in the Comments section. Love, peace, serenity. Good juju. I’m sending it all to you.