middle age mom Archives - Page 2 of 2 - Adulting: Second- Half

The First Five Days

But Friday is the easiest of those five days!!! Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! New readers, it’s always casual Friday here at Adulting – Second Half. We stay in the shallow end on Fridays. I refuse to enter the inner depths of my indoor mind pool, on Friday. On Friday, I typically list three favorite things, websites, products, foods, songs, etc. and I encourage you to list your favorites in my Comments section.

I typically think of a favorite thing during the week, when I am using something, perusing somewhere, or snoozing, in my bed. Then, I write those inspirations on my calendar to remind me to share them with you, my beloved readers. Unfortunately, this is one of those weeks where I got “away from myself” and my normal routine. So, I have nothing to jog my memory to what to share with you. I decided I will write a list of some of my favorite things to do, to inspire you to write your own list of why life can be so satisfying. It really is the small things, sometimes, that add up to a good life.

A Sampling List of Some of My Favorite Things to Do:

Long, rambling, funny meals and conversations with my family and my friends.

Long, rambling walks with my husband and my dogs.

Cuddling with my husband in bed . . . . and other things.

Listening to my kids when they are in “excited, chatter mode” (even my adult kids still get this way, sometimes).

Writing.

Reading.

Getting really lost in a really good book or movie or TV series.

Discussing “what” I got lost in, from a really good book, movie, or TV series.

Watching SNL videos of skits, while doing stretches and planks. (I honestly just really like the SNL skit part)

Kissing my dogs on top of their heads. (I leave lipstick marks on our yellow lab)

Cuddling with my collie. She is such a cuddle bug! (Giant Pomeranian lap dog)

Crossing things off of my to-do list.

Making people laugh and feeling clever about it.

Trying out a new place, restaurant, shop, trail, skill, modality, amusement etc.

Taking the time for putting together a really cool outfit.

Driving aimlessly with the convertible top down, and the music blaring.

Doing and witnessing random acts of kindness.

Really connecting with someone and feeling like you have helped them reach a new insight that they were struggling to reach.

Flipping aimless through magazines and ripping out the pages that move me.

Laughing hard, loud and obnoxiously, from complete hilarity.

These are just a few things that popped right into my head, when I focused on the thought of “some of my favorite things to do.” It took me all of seven minutes to write down. Write your own list. Right now. It’s an uplifting thing to do. You’ll be happy that you did it. (I think that “bossing people around” might be one of my favorite things to do, but I’m not going to own that one. 😉 ) Have a great weekend!!!

40 Encouraging Quotes & Words Of Encouragement To Get You Through The Hardest Times In Life | YourTango

Conundrum

Image result for we're all crazy good quote"

This has been one of those weeks that what I envisioned the week to look like, has NOT even come close to being true. The calm, cool week of me getting back to my up-to-date, normal pace, organized flow before the holidays are upon us – that perfect, even-keel, “just breathe” week that I have envisioned, is instead turning into a week that is culminating in me having to race out of the house this morning for my first ever acupuncture appointment for a never-ending eye twitch (story for another blog post, some day), while laundry accumulates to the mountain high levels it was when all six of us still lived under one roof (ditto that for dishes in the sink), and our dogs reverting back to puppyhood, having accidents in the house, as a subconscious retaliation (my guess – I’d have to check with Cesar Milan to verify the truth to this theory) to the fact that we are WAY off our typical schedule and they are not happy. It doesn’t feel good to be out of sorts. I agree and I sympathize with my dogs, but I won’t stoop to their level. I’m not THAT crazy.

This excerpt was from my morning meditation by Anne Wilson Schaef:

“We are not machines. We will NEVER be machines. Regardless of how sophisticated science becomes, it will never be able to emulate the complexity of a simple human being. . . . . Today is a good day to celebrate our complexity and our unreasonableness! There are times when we are not understandable to ourselves or anybody else. So be it. Isn’t it great? We are not understandable! We are too complex to be completely understood. We are a conundrum. We are a paradox. We are a mystery. We are unfathomable. We are great!”

What a wonderful way to spin “our crazy”, both individually and collectively! I love it. Here’s some more good reassurance about our craziness (from a “doctor”, no less) before I go prepare myself to get needles poked into my face. Ending note:

Vacation Clean-Up

****Happy Birthday, G! My second eldest son is 21 today. It doesn’t seem possible. He is such an amazing guy. I’m so proud to call him my son.

Why do I feel such a desperate need to get back to “normal” after vacation? It seems like, in my mind, that things were perfectly orderly before we left, even though they weren’t. I am in a frenzy right now trying to get everything checked off of my list. Laundry. Grocery shopping. Returns. Appointments made. Bills. Paperwork. Cleaning. Pedicure.

I told myself that I would bring some of that fresh mountain peace back with me, but that was short-lived. I purchased a Native American CD when I was away and I played it on my way to taking my daughter to tennis and while I ran other errands. Even with the peaceful drumming and quiet flutes, I found myself tensing in traffic and grumbling at being stuck in lines.

I have zero phone access right now. I fell off of my fly fishing boat (long, funny story for another blog) and my ultra-amazing water proof cell phone, wasn’t so water proof. My home phone service stopped working about three days after the cable guy spent a day at our home. Not having phone service probably should make me feel peaceful, uninterrupted and un-distracted, but instead I feel antsy and irritable. And I feel frustrated that I feel this way. Phone-less could be such a freeing, natural way to live. The Universe is probably trying to teach me something, but I stubbornly seem to want to fight the lesson.

I am writing this on my blog today, in hopes that I am not alone. If anything, I hope that my honesty will give relief to others who might feel the same way. I wish that I could write that being out in untouched, beautiful nature for a week, awoke my inner zen and I am now unflappably calm and peaceful. That didn’t happen. But at least now I have the self-awareness to notice this fact. I suppose that is a step in the right direction.

In Session

My daughter and I watched a movie called The Switch, the other night. It featured Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. I love both of these actors so I wanted to like the movie more than I did, but it was still a fun, cute watch. Even with movies and books that I don’t particularly like, I usually have some glean of wisdom that sticks with me. There was one line from this movie, that I thought was particularly good.

Jennifer Aniston’s character, in The Switch, has decided that she is ready for a baby, despite the fact that she has not found a suitable partner in life, yet. She is seriously considering artificial insemination. Jennifer quotes a motivational speaker who says, “Life is in session.”

Life is in session.

Now, of course, Jason Bateman , who essentially plays “Jason Bateman” in every role that he has ever had, makes fun of this statement in his usual snarky, sarcastic way. But I personally thought that the statement is spot on. It sticks with me.

Whether we like it or not, Life is in session. It doesn’t stop for us. Today, seems like it is really the official, first day of summer for my family. The official summer schedule has begun. My youngest son, who is still at home, has started his first day of his summer job. My daughter will start her first day of summer volunteering. Her tennis schedule is now switched to summer hours. My husband’s work schedule always seems to change to more of a summer pace right around this time of year, every year. My summer schedule, as many moms can relate to, falls in line with the rest of my family’s agenda.

Life is in session. We are in summer session. Life feels slower, hotter, more relaxed, less scattered. But that is just an illusion. Life is still going on. Life is in session. Am I taking full advantage of this free, challenging, exciting, surprising, interesting course that I have been gifted? That could end at any point? Am I?

Life is in session.

That’s Weird

So, I am not sure what to write about this morning. I slept in. I feel kind of foggy. Nothing is striking me. So, I decided to google quotes for inspiration. My first search was “prettiest quotes”. This gave me a monitor full of quotes about beauty like the one oft repeated by Aubrey Hepburn, “Happy girls are the prettiest.”

That wasn’t really what I was going for, so I looked up “loveliest quotes.” This search filled my monitor with syrupy, sickeningly sweet romantic quotes to read to you lover, at bedtime. I won’t even repeat any of them here.

So, I finally searched up “most meaningful quotes”. For some reason, today all of these quotes just got on my nerves, but I kept looking. Then this one showed up (on the most meaningful quote search . . . seriously). This is one I had to share:

I’m not really angry today, but this struck me as hilarious. I find it even more funny because it showed up on a page full of wisdom from Aristotle, Confucius, Anne Frank, Einstein and Maya Angelou. I never knew how wise the minions were until I saw the company that they keep.

I get that this blog post has a Seinfeld-like quality to it – a ramble about nothing. But that is what makes Sundays so great, you can ramble on, or not. You can do meaningful things, or not. If there was ever a day to just be in the moment and to savor being alive, it is on Sundays. Savor your Sunday. I’ll be back tomorrow.

Stop Stressin’

“It doesn’t need to be a great day, as long as it is Friday.” – upJourney

Happy Friday, readers and friends!! Here at Adulting Second Half, Fridays remain fun and frivolous!! We don’t take anything seriously on Fridays. On most Fridays, I list three Favorites (whether they be things, books, music, etc.) and I strongly encourage you to share your favorites in the Comments section. Please check out previous Friday blogs for other excellent ideas to brighten up your living experience!

Here are this Friday’s Favorites:

Toffee-To-Go – I adore toffee. I love Heath bars. However, this Toffee-To-Go is the best toffee that I have ever eaten. It is the best combination of chocolate and nuts (which is the best combination in the world to begin with). It is totally impossible to not eat a small box of this mixed perfection in just one sitting. Go to their website now and order yourself a little box to be delivered to you or to your friends and associates, straight from Heaven.

Ballard Designs Clothes Drying Rack – A very wise, creative closet designer suggested that we add this dream contraption to our newly remodeled laundry room and I am so happy that she did! (shout out, Jo Anne) This drying rack hangs on the wall of your room and you pull the racks down from their magnetic closures, to dry your socks and intimates and whatever else you prefer not to put into your dryer. When you are finished, you just close the racks back up and they fold nicely back into the frame on the wall. Before this, we used to haphazardly dry our things on various pieces of furniture and unfortunately, some of the wooden furniture shows that we did that, with ugly water wear marks. (so sorry, my lovely, beloved rocking chair) This rack comes in all different sizes and is sturdy and attractive and yet, still extremely useful.

Madonna’s Medellin video – Love or or hate her, you have to hand it to her, Madonna remains transformational, relevant and interesting to this day. She came on to the scene when I was just 12 years old and now at age 48, I am encouraging you to check out her new video. The video is raunchy and racy and controversial (would we expect anything else from her?), but it’s fascinating to watch and I do really like the beat of the song. I watched a little bit of her MTV interview about the video and here are a few interesting tidbits that I took from it:

Madonna picked the directors for this video because she wanted it to look “painterly” (her words) and surreal. It does seem otherworldly.

Madonna currently lives in Lisbon, Portugal. She moved there so that one of her sons, who wants to become a professional soccer player, can get his best training. In her words, Madame X (her new persona) is a “soccer mom” at heart.

Madonna believes that it is MUSIC that universally connects all people of the world. “We were connected before Instagram, people, seriously.” (her words)

Finally, Madonna told one of her fans that she wanted to get back to her naivety. Now, most people don’t look at Madonna and think, “naive and innocent.” She explained that what she meant is the naivety that she had when she just started out and didn’t care, at all, what people thought of her or of her work. Madonna explains that when she was young and starting out, she created herself and her craft, out of pure passion and inventiveness, without giving much credence to other people’s influence and criticisms.

I have never found Madonna to be a particularly warm, ingratiating person, but I really do respect her vision and her daring and her inspiration. She is encouragement for all of us Second Halfers to keep on creating, doing and exploring what makes us alive and “naive”, in the best sense of the word. And for that reason, I’m grateful for her influence.

And This is Eternity

I am at one of those particularly poignant, bittersweet times in parenthood. It is one of those times that almost every moment feels like an ending and a new beginning. My eldest son is now completely and totally independent of us, starting his new adult life, in his new state. My second son is almost halfway done with college. My youngest son starts college in the fall. My daughter just completed her first year of high school and is ready to practice driving.

The first couple of years of a child’s life feels like this – the feeling of constant endings and new beginnings. There are so many milestones that happen almost on a daily basis, it makes your head spin . . . and your heart overflow. Then there is this long period of late elementary/middle school years, where, as much as the changes are still happening in your family, they are not nearly as obvious and confronting, as times like these.

As we were driving home from my daughter’s high school tennis tournament yesterday, she and I were reflecting on her first year of high school and how well it went for her, despite the normal fears and hesitations that she felt at the beginning of the year. We laughed at how worried she was about making the tennis team and how now, it feels like “old hat”. High school, in itself, will be more of an “old hat” for her in the next three years before she departs for journeys further away from home.

My parenting style is doing a major shift right now, too. It is much more “hands off”, freeing of the reigns. I am much more of a sideline advocate and “wise” counsel (when sought) these days. I suppose my job is to worry less about their lives and to put the focus more on my own life now, so that they can worry less about me.

This passage is from a beautiful, enchanting old book by Gwen Frostic. The book, A Walk With Me, is printed by block carvings and it is as lovely to look at, as it is to read. Here it is:

The squirrels jump from limb to limb high in the trees that are ever the same . . . and . . . never the same . . . for each day . . . each hour . . . . all things change. . . . . .the trees . . . the flowers . . . rocks . . . .the sand and the waters . . . the birds and all the animals of earth . . . .

. . . .yet – life goes on unchanged . . . . . . . nothing is new

. . . . . . . nothing is old

this is life . . . . . . . .

and this is eternity . . . . . .

And Another Thing . . . .

Yesterday, I spent all day in a small town located over an hour away from our home, at a high school tennis tournament, with my daughter. We left our home at 6:45 a.m and we returned home, exhausted, sweaty and cranky, at about 6 p.m. My daughter played two matches. We spent all day in the sweltering Florida heat, cheering for her friends and team mates and waiting for her two turns to play. This isn’t anything new. I have four children who, among all of them, have played and/or participated in tennis, football, baseball, basketball, soccer, softball, robotics, academic teams, track, numerous clubs and honor societies, etc. etc. over the decades that we have spent raising them. The list of sports and activities goes on and on and on. This is nothing unusual. My friends with kids would have the same miles-long lists of activities that they have supported their kids with, throughout the years. These activities all take an inordinate amount of effort, time, money, emotion and sacrifice, from every single member of any family unit. There were many, many evenings and weekends that my husband and I barely saw each other, as we were really just ships passing in the night, going to support different ones of our children, at different events, which happened to fall around the same dates and times as each other. I’m not going to get into whether all of this focused, structured activity is/was really even good and/or necessary for children or for society, as a whole. That is a whole different retrospective argument/analysis for a whole different blog. What yesterday’s experience did, though, was got me to thinking about the whole college scandal thing again, and I felt angry, very angry, all over again.

Some of the children whose parents paid to “cheat” their childrens’ way into college acceptances, faked their kids being part of teams, crews – basically members of all of the types of activities that I listed above, and some. They made pretend photo-shopped pictures of their kids participating in events, like the tournament that my daughter and I spent all day yesterday at and also, will spend all day today attending and performing in. I wonder if any of their cars sported stickers like “Soccer Life” or “Proud Football Mom”, even though instead of waking up in the wee small hours of the morning to travel several hours away, paying for pricey travel expenses and accommodations, and spending countless time and emotional equity, consoling and hugging and cheering up a kid who has spent thousands of hours tirelessly working at and practicing a skill that means more to that child than playing video games or hanging out with their friends, these parents instead, decided that they could just cough up one big, fat check at the end, to make up for the fact that neither they nor their kids, really put in any of the time, effort and frankly, overall life force that participating in today’s kids’ sports and activities really require???? (okay, take a breath) The arrogance of these parents appalls me, again and again, in so many regards!!! Thank you for letting me rant. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a cooler to pack before we take off on our early morning journey to the second day of the tennis tournament and I have to fish a uniform out of the dryer before we leave and I have think of the right words to help calm my daughter’s nerves before we arrive for her playing time. These are all efforts that require sweat equity, courage and stretched heart strings, by all parties involved, and these are things that can’t possibly be duplicated by an expensive, fake photograph.