middle age journal Archives - Adulting: Second- Half

Path of Least Resistance

When life gives you a crazy ride with a pandemic, make jeeps!

I loved reading this news story about teachers who are trying to make this school year a little less scary and a little more fun for their students. At the “meet the teacher” event at the elementary school pictured above, the teachers handed their students “keys” to their individual cars. What a gift teachers are to this world! Today, my daughter starts her junior year of high school, in her bedroom. I am so thankful to her teachers, who are doing their best to make this hybrid “in-person/online” classroom situation work out for everyone, the best that they can, on a daily basis.

I’ve been reflecting on the idea that it is the shared love that we have for things, and people and places and passions, in our lives that really connects us. Think of what a unifying feeling it is, to share love for the same people, the same team, the same country, the same pets, the same state, the same school, the same hobby, the same favorite musician or band, the same ideals, the same religion, the same books, the same home, the same beach, the same profession, the same car, the same food, the same restaurant . . . . It is so refreshing and happily reflective to find people who share in our loves. It multiplies our joy.

Love really is the connector that lifts us, and sustains us, and gets us through our journey of life. And just because we feel a special connection to the people who love a lot of the same things that we do, we can still have a respect and a happiness that other people get zeal and joy from the things and the people and the places and the passions, which speak to them. We don’t have to convert others to our loves. We can just feel gratefulness that other people have found their own loves and their own passions, because the bottom line of it all, is that if we stay in our own lanes, there is no traffic. (I read that quote on Twitter recently and it has become my much-needed daily reminder mantra, as a well-intentioned, but highly overprotective woman/mother/wife/friend/family member during these strange and ambiguous times.)

If we are all riding on the easy street of flowing with our own loves, and our own passions, and our own inspirations, and our own well-being, and we are all living in the faith and the trust that others are capable of doing the same for themselves, and that there are enough pathways for all of us in this world, traffic jams and accidents and mass casualties, are a lot less likely to happen. If we trust that we can find what sustains us, and allow others to do the same for themselves, love flows. I think that life is meant to flow along the easy, light, beautiful, nourishing, sustaining energy of Love. It’s certainly the path of least resistance. And the path of Love is always wide open.

Cigam Era Skoob

Hello my favorite readers in the world!!! Thank you so much for supporting me and my blog. I appreciate you so much! New readers, Fridays are really light here at Adulting – Second Half. We keep it surface level on Fridays. On Friday, I list three favorite products, services, books, songs, websites, ideas, etc. and I encourage you to add your favorites to the Comments section. Please check out previous Friday posts for more favorites. Here are today’s favorites:

Books Are Magic merch – I am very excited to get my black Books Are Magic t-shirt, scheduled to arrive any day now. Books Are Magic is an old-fashioned, awesome, “hope that this type of store, never ever goes away”, book store in Brooklyn. They sell all kinds of merchandise, such as mugs, key chains, pennants with the fact, “Books Are Magic” printed on them. My favorite quirky item is a t-shirt for kids. It says “Cigam Era Skoob”. (Despite my many years of studying Latin, I had to look that one up. It’s “Books are Magic” spelled backwards. I know . . . Duh! Back then, anyone could take Latin.)

Joy For All Pets – Despite having living, breathing versions, I want one of these pets. (or maybe even two) These interactive, high tech stuffed animals were designed by Hasbro to give seniors a pet to love, without the mess, fuss, and expense, of a real pet. They are about as life-like as you can get in a machine, and they have brought comfort to seniors, all around the world. I have also have seen videos where people have purchased Joy for All pets for children who can’t have live pets due to allergies and housing restrictions, etc. This is like West World, without the creepiness. Just love . . . and joy for all.

Angry Orange Odor Eliminator – “Smells Like Heaven, Works Like Hell” is printed on this concentrate’s bottle. I like this stuff so much, that this may be a repeat, on my Friday Favorites. If you have a nasty smell somewhere that just won’t go away, this is what you need. I have never experienced a better bad odor eliminator, in my life. I order mine on Amazon and a little goes a LONG way.

That’s it for today! Have a wonderful, three day weekend!!! Books are magic! Life is magic!

A Lonely Little Bee

“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone.”
– Paul Tillich

I was reading a blog yesterday in which the writer was saying that she always could sense in herself when she wasn’t getting enough solitude. She felt edgy, snappy, frustrated and a little bit of almost crawling out of her skin. I love when I read something that I completely relate to, because I need solitude in the same way that the writer does and I have not been getting much of it lately, with the renovations going on in our home. I am trying to be my own little quiet island in the middle of a beehive, and it isn’t working so well. I wonder if a lot of writers crave solitude?

I have another friend who doesn’t seem to like being alone at all. Her life is the beehive and she is the Queen Bee. This friend seems to be always wanting to expand her beehive in all directions. I love having friends like her because when my self-imposed solitude turns to loneliness, I know that I always have someone to go out with, or to chat with. She is the busy bee in my life who knows all about the fun, public, social happenings going on and she’s usually in the center of it all.

I suppose the key is sensing in yourself when you are in a state of delicious, tranquil, meditative solitude versus despairing, paranoiac, angst-filled loneliness. The cure to my anxiety, when I am overstimulated and distracted, is to get to a place where I can bathe in my secluded, peaceful, solitude and the cure to my loneliness is the nearby buzzing of the beehive which seems always open for more energy and more expression.

“In loneliness I have no one but myself. In solitude I have God.” – anonymous

This Blog Post is Now Live!

Starting out on an aside, I write my blog on WordPress and when I press the Publish button, it says “The Title of Today’s Blog” is now live! That makes me feel so excited. It’s like I am on a production set or something. It’s often the accumulation of all the little special extras that can make a day in your life so grand.

One of my favorite Twitter feeds is called Think Smarter. Think Smarter posted this the other day: Please share the best lesson your life has taught you. So far.

Here are some of my favorite answers that rang true to me:

This too shall pass.

Your choices make you.

You are the architect of your own life.

Be patient.

There are always two sides to every story.

Know what matters.

Respect yourself, respect other people and they will respect you.

All actions and in-actions have consequences.

God has your back.

You are responsible for your own happiness.

Never give up.

Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Never buy a cheap frying pan.

Don’t take your health for granted.

God always has a better plan for you than you have for yourself.

Don’t piss in the wind.

Happiness is not outside. It’s inside.

Tough times don’t last, tough people do.

Your kids will follow your example, not your advice.

All of these rang true to me and have been proven to me again and again in my 48 years of life. I saved my favorite for last:

Everything happens for a reason. Someday it will make PERFECT sense.

Spice to Mashed Potatoes

Yesterday, I got out of my element. I drove a few hours away and I spent a beautiful day with a wonderful companion, with my two dogs in tow. We meandered through a beautiful garden setting, chatting and laughing with each other, and with other people we met along the way. It was a lovely day.

I used to be a bit better about giving myself to adventures. I would purposely seek out different neighborhoods to visit, different roads to travel and different perspectives to consider. As I’ve aged, I’ve noticed my anxiety level rises a little more than it used to, when I wander off my beaten path. I find my local turf to be more comfortable and more of my “go-to” experience than ever before. It’s kind of like that comfortable old pair of shoes that seem to get chosen to get worn every day, even with the shiny, new shoes, still in their box, sitting right next to the old worn ones. These new shoes are just begging to be tried out and to get their chance to become worn, and then worn out.

Yesterday was an excellent reminder that it’s fun to put on the shiny, new shoes sometimes and to step out of my box and its confines. Yesterday was refreshing. I felt very vibrant and alive. The old, well worn, comfortable shoes will always be there for me. In fact, I’ll be slipping them on today and probably wearing them most of the week. However, I’m going to make a point of trying out the shiny, new ones a little more than I have been doing lately. They may take me on to paths to places that I like so much, that these new places could expand my experience of who and what are, my people and my places of comfort. At the very least, these new paths will add a little spice to my mashed potatoes and gravy.