Tag: mean girls

Mean Girls

Last week, a young woman who was a student at the high school where all of my children graduated from, took her own life. While, of course, suicide has a lot of complicating factors, it was well known by the student population that this popular, talented young woman was being bullied by, and ostracized from her friend group. Something about a boy . . . .

“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.” – Unknown

We teach the younger generations not by what we say and lecture about, but more so by what we do in our own lives and how we behave on an every day basis.

“The life you lead is the lesson you teach.” – Marie Humphrey

So many lives have been forever hurt by this awful tragedy. Not only will this young woman’s family and true friends have to live with this horrific loss forever, but the girls who bullied her will have to live with this taint on own their lives forevermore. Where did these girls learn bullying? Where did they learn gossiping and ganging up? Where do “Mean Girls” come from?

We help the world when we heal ourselves. It doesn’t feel good to be a mean girl at any stage in life, and it doesn’t feel good to be a target of mean girls during any stage of our lives. Meanness comes from a feeling of insecurity and lack. Happy, contented people are not mean people. Meanness is wearing your wounds like a tattoo, for the world to see. Kind, secure, confident women raise kind, secure, confident women. May we all aim to be these healthy, highest forms of womankind.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Not You, Kid

“They’re just not you, Kid.” – @TheNostalgicCo, Twitter

The other day, I wrote a long, heartfelt email to an author about the difference her book (which is now out-of-print) made to me recently. The author is now in her late seventies, but still has an active website. To say that I was surprised by her response, would be an understatement.

“Who are you? Are you a real person? Are you some kind of telemarketer? Anyway, thanks. Maybe I’ll activate my book back up on Amazon.”

That’s all she wrote.

I understand that today’s society puts up a lot of roadblocks, in order for us to be able to trust each other. I also understand that this author is aging and may be going through mental challenges caused by her aging process. In short, I understand that her response has everything to do with her, and nothing to do with me. And my disappointment in her response, is all on me. My expectations are not credos for her to meet.

Along these same lines, my friend’s daughter was recently going through some real angst with some mean girls, in her freshman dorm in college. It was shocking the level of immaturity and cruelty that college-aged women still stoop to, especially in this day and age of careful, cancel culture. Actually, maybe it isn’t shocking. We mothers all agreed that we all know 50-year-old women who still behave like petty Betty, mean girls. And these vipers tend to raise mini-me mean girls, and the cycle continues on and on.

“They’re just not you, Kid.”

They all can’t be you. Only you can be you. Only you can raise yourself to the highest potential of your own best self. How others choose to respond to your growing and to your expanding and to your leveling up, is their business, their problem, their stuff. It has nothing to do with you. You be you. You surround yourself with those people who get you, respect you, honor you, and love you. You surround yourself with people who are for you, not against you. Send the rest on their merry way.

“They’re just not you, Kid.”

You are special stuff.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.