My second son, a 20 year old college student, is going skydiving for the first time today. Skydiving. He and his girlfriend both have birthdays in July and they felt that this shared experience would make a great mutual birthday gift for each other. Now my more conservative friends have said that this was the time for me to start threatening to cut off payments for college and living expenses if he goes through with this. My more adventurous friends have asked if they could get in on the experience. After much discussion and prayers and more discussion, my husband and I have reluctantly offered our blessing to this excursion. And I will be able to breathe again when I hear that they have safely landed back on Earth.
My second son has always been my daredevil and thrill seeker. In lieu of a high school graduation party, he wanted a day of jet skiing. He valets as a summer job, primarily so that he can drive Ferraris, even for a short jaunt. He’s not a fearful person. I love his zest for life. But this blog is not supposed to be about my kids. It’s supposed to be about getting “back to me.” Which brings me to this confession. Skydiving has always been on my bucket list. Unfortunately I never got around to it when I was 20 or 22 and by the age of 24, I was pregnant with my first child. Skydiving quickly got moved way down on the bucket list, because skydiving never seemed like an entirely prudent, responsible decision to make as a mother of 4 children. I always envisioned the headlines, “Irresponsible Mother of 4 Children Plunges to Her Death in an Expensive, Frivolous, Unnecessary Skydiving Excursion as Horrified and Forever Traumatized Family Looks On.” I like to think I was being responsible for not doing it, perhaps I was just being chicken.
I think the neat part about this Second Half of Adulting, is the inspiration and learning that you start really gleaning from your aging kids. Now, I’ve learned from my kids my whole mothering experience. It is awesome to rediscover caterpillars and roller coasters and Christmas through the fresh eyes of your children. But as they get older, their experiences get bigger and you are moving further and further away from what the world looked like in your childhood and closer to what the world looked like in their childhoods. In some ways, they are starting to know a little bit more about today’s world, than you do. (They know a hell of a lot more about tech and social media than I do!) This can be sobering, but exciting. The shift from me being a mostly “in the moment teacher” to more of a “wise old sage/wide eyed student” is happening to me as my kids grow up and it’s interesting to experience.
My eldest son had a summer internship in my hometown last summer. Now I grew up in my hometown, as did my parents and both sets of grandparents. I spent all of my twenties there. So, when we went to visit him, I figured I would be the tour guide. Ha! He took us to neighborhoods that used to be “lock your door, don’t make eye contact and drive fast” neighborhoods that are now really cool hipster hangouts with wonderful places to eat, to drink and be merry. He took us to my old familiar “haunts” but with his fresh, excited eye and perspective, it made me appreciate these places in ways that I never had before. When I was willing to let go of my control and my “authority”, I really enjoyed being the student of an old place turned “new.” My son made for an excellent tour guide.
I’m really excited for the upcoming tours and adventures that all four of my children will lead me on. I’m looking forward to the upcoming tours and adventures that I’ll be leading myself on. I’m also grateful and inspired to remember those items that have been placed on the back-burner. Skydiving has just moved up a little on my own personal bucket list.
