Tag: interests

Questions

The beauty of getting older is being able to look back at decades of being “yourself.” You become more curious about yourself. You become your own mystery to solve. You have experienced enough time at being alive that you start to notice patterns about yourself. What interests, intrigues, and attractions have been a part of you, in one form or another, since you were a child? Why do you have these inherent passions? Is this something that is in your heritage? I find myself getting more and more curious about my ancestors, not necessarily about the relations that are just a couple of generations away, but my lineage from hundreds of years ago. I have the sense that my ancestors are wanting me to explore these connections more fully, now that I am older and less distracted. Do you ever get this sense? The ultimate question and mystery to solve in our lives, for any of us, just may be “Why are you, “you”?” Follow your inclinations, intuitions, and your proclivities. Notice what has remained in your life, in one form or another, throughout your decades of living. Get interested in yourself. You are a fascinating enigma. With a puzzle like yourself to try and solve, you can never be bored.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Fun is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as “Light-hearted pleasure, enjoyment, or amusement; boisterous joviality or merrymaking; entertainment” (Wikipedia)

What do you do for fun? Do you do what society says is fun, or do you really know what you, yourself, find to be fun? Are you caught up in a rut of doing the same old things that you used to do for fun (perhaps from childhood on), that if you are honest with yourself, you don’t find to be fun anymore? Maybe if you are excruciatingly honest with yourself, you might find that what you do for “fun”, has never really been fun for you, but something you have done to please others, or something that you think that you should find to be fun, because others seem to find it fun. Have you turned something that used to be fun for you into a goal-oriented chore? (For example, perhaps you used to love to run, or workout, or play golf, for fun’s sake, but now it has evolved into a strict, time-consuming regimens, full of self-judgment? Or perhaps that club that you joined, used to be fun, until you took on a leadership role that now just makes it another added stress in your life.) Remember that the dictionary describes fun as “light-hearted pleasure and amusement.”

Make an off-the-cuff list of things you do for fun. Then really study that list and ask yourself the questions from above. Narrow down your list only to the things that actually bring to you “light-hearted pleasure, enjoyment, and amusement.” If your list is sparse, think about things that you could add to this list, to bring more light-hearted pleasure and enjoyment into your life. If parties aren’t on the list that’s okay. Perhaps sitting in a quiet corner with some needlework is more fun for you. Maybe you used to find shopping to be fun, but now you crave a simpler life with less stuff. All of the sudden, organizing and purging might be more fun for you at this stage in your life. We change all of the time in all different facets of our life. It’s okay to no longer find joy in tennis, book club, yoga, art collecting, going to concerts, scrapbooking etc., even if at one time this thing was a true passion for you. Passions burn out (passion comes from fire, and fire always burns out when its fuel goes damp or empty). Don’t feel guilty if you have spent a lot of time and money on skiing or boating or stamp collecting. You can sell your equipment, or you can charitably give it to others who are just discovering their own varied interests. Or you can just lessen your time commitment to certain pleasures that aren’t as fun as they used to be for you. Maybe instead of skiing every weekend, you choose to take a ski trip once or twice a year. This opens up some space on your calendar to try something new. Just because you are good at something, or highly skilled at something, doesn’t mean that this particular thing has to be your source of fun and pleasure. A lot of people work at what they are talented at doing, in order to afford to do what they truly love to do, and on what they really find to be fun and intriguing.

One of my friends swears by the app, Meetup. Meetup is an app/website to help you to find groups and clubs with similar interests as you have, in your local area. She said that when she first joined Meetup, it was like dating, she had to be open to exploring. My friend soon figured out what groups were right for her, and which ones were non-starters. My friend laughingly tells the story of walking towards a group of people who all looked to be at least her parents’ age and older, and so she turned right back around and went home. She knew right off that this particular group wasn’t for her. However, it was through Meetup, that my friend ended up trying kayaking, which is now one of the greatest sources of fun and activity and friendships, in her life.

People tend to discount fun. Fun isn’t “important” enough. We don’t have time for fun. And then we question why we have so much anxiety and depression and burnout in our society. If you ever watch animals, they love to have fun. Our three dogs (none of them are puppies) turn our home entrance into wrestle mania at least once a day. Two of our dogs would play fetch to their deaths, if we didn’t stop throwing the ball. Wild animals frolic with each other all day long, even when grown. Fun is not just for puppies and children.

Today, make your honest list of what you find to be fun. Make a list of things that you would be interested in trying for fun. (if you have a hard time with this one, think about things that you loved to do as a child and see if you can incorporate some of “that” back into your life) Take a time slot in your life where you know that you are in a rut of just doing the habitual, same-old/same-old, and insert something new from the “things to try for fun” list. The worst that will happen is that you will find your curiosity satisfied about something that you had never tried before. It may be “not your thing” but that will just leave an empty slot on your list for another new thing to try.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Your Story/Plot Twist

People have commented to me more than once, that they are amazed that I write consistently, practically every single day, at least one sentence, on this blog. I do like to believe that I am a reliable, loyal, consistent person. I think that to get really good at anything, you must do it consistently. Certainly, I do like the idea of this blog being a comfort to those who come here every single day, to ponder along with me. The thought of our virtual, intimate commune, fills me with a form of deep and grateful contentment.

That being said, as fulfilling it is to have readers and to have others validate my musings, I do this blogging for me. It is not a chore. It is not even a purposeful, daily practice. Writing is one of my greatest joys and pleasures. When I am writing, it is the part of my day that I feel most fully myself. My writing time is probably the most sacred time of my day. I can’t wait to get up and write in the morning. I get giddy thinking about what I am going to write about next. Writing is my passion and I now realize that I let it remain dormant for much too long a time in my life. Throughout the years, my desire to write would try to force itself out, pushing through the doors, in the form in extra long emails to my friends and my family, in flowery work memos at my part-time jobs, in extra-descriptive posts about items that I was selling on eBay, and in half-started journals along the way. But I didn’t really open the door wide open to my passion for writing, until 2018, when I was 48-years-old. I didn’t surrender to my muse despite all of its gentle nudging and subtle hints sent along my way. I didn’t allow my longing to write to become a priority, until I decided that I would have to do it, or bust.

What is lying dormant in you? It is never too late to open the lid, pull it out, dust it off, throw away all of the old crusty criticisms from yourself and from others, and just do it. Just bask in it. Have a reunion with your deepest longings. Feel the joy of reconnecting with that which makes you feel more alive than anything. If you feel a stirring, but you are not sure what that stirring is, look for clues. What makes you curious? What gets your most rapt attention? What did you love to do as a child? What did you love to do that you shut down long ago, because someone else put it down? What is something you liked to do, but you stopped doing it, because you were afraid of stealing the spotlight from someone else with the same interest and talent (i.e. “my brother is the musician in the family”)? Whose talents do you most admire? What do people remark about what is special and unique and interesting about you? What are you quick to volunteer to do? What are things that you do, that when you do them, time stands still? These are the breadcrumbs that will lead you back to your passionate self. And remember, it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing or how they are doing it. This world would be an incredibly dull, uninspiring, unstimulating place if we all liked and did the same things, in the same routine way. Start a love affair with your deepest self today. It is never too late. The recommitment ceremony in your heart will be incredibly beautiful, and it will be one of the best feelings you have felt in a long time.

“It’s your story. Feel free to hit ’em with a plot twist at any moment.” – Think Smarter, Twitter

Michael Hyatt Quote: “Consistency is better than perfection. We can all be consistent-perf ection is

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.