Here’s Some Inspiration

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credit: Inner Practioner, Twitter

I love this post. At this time of year, when so many of us are thinking about resolutions/intentions for what we want in this new year, this inspiration versus motivation is such an important distinction. When you think about an intention you have for the new year, for example losing weight, or travelling more, or moving to a new location, etc., the best way to get to “the heart of it all” is to ask yourself “why” you want these things. Usually the answers to the whys, always include feelings. Here are some general examples: I want to lose weight because I want to feel healthier and more self-confident. I want to feel prettier in my clothes. I want to save more money because I want to feel more secure. I want to go on a couple of vacations because I want to feel the excitement that comes from new adventures.

Feelings come from the heart. They have intensity. Feelings are powerful compared to the often meaningless blips that are our thoughts. Thoughts are only powerful when there are feelings attached to the thoughts. Thoughts come and go, unless they are attached to powerful feelings stemming from our hearts. When you are pondering ideas for what you want in 2022, write these wants down and then write down why you want these things. You will find that the answer is almost always a feeling. Sometimes, you will realize that you can get that desired feeling in an easier way, than what you originally thought you would need to do in order to attain that feeling which you are so desiring.

I love writing this blog so much, because I am inspired to do so. Sometimes I am even surprised to see the words that land on the screen. If I only wrote this blog because I felt like “I should” or “I have to”, Adulting- Second Half would have ended in the first year that I started it. Probably, it would have even ended in the first month that I started it back in the summer of 2018. Without inspiration, I am not very motivated at all. My mind can help me to write a nice paragraph and remember some grammar rules, but the meaning of my words has to come from my heart, otherwise this blog is pointless to you and to me. I am inspired to write this blog because it is an extension of what is inside of my heart. I am attached to this blog from the bottom of my heart, and by extension I feel true fondness and connection with you, my readers. Heartstrings are so much stronger and connecting, than the electrical blips that are our thoughts.

Maybe the best resolution/intention for all of us this year, is to do more of what truly inspires us. The answers to what are our own true inspirations are unique and original to each of us, and our inspirations can only be found in our hearts. Who/what/where makes your heart leap? Be inspired to live your life from your deepest creative inclinations. They were put there for a reason. We are all co-creating with the Divine all of the time, in order to build this majestic tapestry that we call Life. What you are really supposed to do in your life, you will be inspired to do it, and your motivation to do it, won’t even be a question. Once inspired, motivation is a given.

60 Best Inspirational Quotes About Life — Short Inspiring Quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Holding Space

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I saw this on Twitter from the Inner Practitioner’s feed. This “holding space for someone” is such a hard skill to learn, yet it is so valuable. I thought that I would “hold space” for these instructions, on my blog, so that it is something that we can all pull back up, and refer to, as a good reminder.

Thank you, readers, for your constant support. I am so grateful for the part you play in my blogging experience. Enjoy your day. Have some fun!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

You Be You

“Not altering others’ perception of me was one of the best decisions I had ever made. Be at peace knowing everyone has a different version of you in their heads.” – Inner Practioner (Twitter)

“You’ll always be ‘young’ in someone’s eyes and ‘old’ in someone else’s eyes, ‘talented’ to a friend and ‘terrible’ to another. The world is never gonna agree on a definition of what you are, so you might as well ignore that sh*t and be whatever you wanna be for yourself.”- Think Smarter (Twitter)

I remember a time years ago, a close friend of mine said to me, “You are just like me. We need to have people around us, all of the time.”

And I remember thinking that nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, a lot of the times, I am on an on-going quest to try to find even more time, to be just by myself. But I didn’t say anything. She needed to see me a certain way, and I knew that nothing that I said, was going to change her mind. Maybe she was on to something that I didn’t perceive in myself?

My youngest son called me late last night to tell me details about a test he had just taken, and about other things going on in his life. He likes having me as a sounding board and as a champion. Out of my three sons, he is the one who calls me, out of the blue, most often. My middle son seems to find the question, “How was your day?” to be bordering on intrusive. I have four children, and I am four different “mamas”. I am the same being, yet how I am perceived by each of them, and how I interact with each of them, is completely different.

This is not to say that I am a “chameleon.” I don’t like to be calculating and manipulative. I am too old and I have worked too hard on learning about myself, to settle for fake relationships. My circle is small, but it is authentic. I like to think that I’m genuinely the same person, no matter what I am doing, or where I am going, or who I am with (with different levels of intimacy, of course). However, it is easy to forget, that the people in our lives, bring their whole life’s experiences to the table, wherever we meet. And all of those experiences often get projected on to us. And we subconsciously are doing the same thing to the other people, who we interact with, in our lives. We like to believe that we don’t have preconceived notions and preferences about other people and things, but be honest with yourself about what comes to mind when I say “Irish” or “pitbull” or “lawyer” or “football player” or “shy person.” Whatever came to your mind when you looked at those words, all came from your own conditioning from the people, and the teachings, and the experiences in your own life. Also, whatever came to your mind when you read any of those words, is likely all together different than what came to my mind, or to any of my other readers’ minds. And who’s right?? As they taught us in Marketing 101 in college, “Perception is reality.”

I think what is so freeing about turning fifty, is the earnest letting go of the illusion of control. By fifty, you finally start to understand how fruitless it is to try to control anything outside of yourself. This lesson starts to get understood, usually because you have quite a few failed experiments under your belt, in trying to control everything under the sun (including other people’s perceptions of you). At the same time, understanding that you are now in the second half of your own precious life, you certainly will not allow anybody, nor anything to control you, either. Freedom is the state of being in which you stop trying to control, and yet you also do not allow yourself to be controlled. This is a daunting, but exciting experience. Shackles off!! Freedom feels freeing, doesn’t it?

I once read a book, that unfortunately, I cannot remember the title. (story of my life – I apologize) In the book, the main character was a complete mess, as mother and as a wife. She was not cut out for the homemaker role, at all, which was tough, since the book took place in a conservative Southern town, during the 1950s. However, the same traits that made this character a difficult family woman, also made her a deliciously wild and fun friend. Her friends adored her! And the book was mostly about the daughter coming to terms with that fact. The now grown daughter was learning to see her mother, in a different light, through the eyes of her mother’s loyal and adoring friends.

I like the idea that I am still considered to be “young” by some. I can live with someone perceiving me as “weird.” That seems to be a compliment these days. Some of our best cities in this country, use the slogan, ‘Keep (insert name of whatever amazing, quirky city) weird.’ It would be interesting to hear all of the labels people have for me. Or not. Maybe labels are a waste of time. They certainly are limiting. Once you put a label on something, and you attach all of the conditions that you have for that particular label, you start to lose the essence of the special and unique experience. Are all birds the same? Of course not. Are all cardinals the same? They have a lot of similarities, but those of us pet lovers know, that never have our dogs nor our cats (even of the same breed) ever been entirely the same. I imagine that it is the same for cardinals.

This is a very long post that could just as easily be summed up with “You be you.” What other people think of you, is none of your business. It’s meaningless. “You” is an ever evolving concept anyway, isn’t it? I will tell you that I love “the loyal reader” version of you. In my eyes, you are amazing!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.