Tag: holiday mathis

Savor.

“Things will go undiscussed and maybe this is for the best. Words will have a way of reducing an experience. Besides, it is too soon to define and name all that’s going on.”

This is my horoscope this morning from Holiday Mathis. This is also the last day in which all of our six immediate family members will be together, for a while. My eldest son leaves tomorrow to go back to his home up north, and my middle son leaves on Monday for his senior year of college. My youngest son wants to get a couple of weeks of work in, before he heads back to the university, by the end of the month. And so, of course, I am trying to push all of this reality to the far back, dark corners of my mind. I am reminding myself to stay in the moment, and to Savor. Savor. Savor.

There were plenty of times over the years that managing our growing, large family was overwhelming and exhausting and emotionally taxing and expensive and chaotic and loud and seemingly never-ending. There were many times over the years that I had to remind myself to turn Complain. Complain. Complain. . . . into Savor. Savor. Savor.

Like my horoscope says, “it is too soon to define and name all that’s going on”. I feel like I have been in the middle of trying to define this new stage of my life (the stage where I have to let go of what was, to forge forward, into what will be), for a long, long time now, but it is still too soon to do that. I’m still in the middle of releasing the tight ball of yarn that was our family. The yarns are scattering, the tight ball of string is now more of a loose puddle, but it hasn’t taken on its new form yet. It’s still a fluid, puddle of yarn. Our family yarn is still trying to find its new shape and form. And every once in a while, like during this past week, the string that binds our family, gets together again, and forms into that tight, little, familiar, cozy, warm ball and this coming together reminds us that no matter what our family tapestry ends up looking like in the future, it all started, here, at its core. In the center of that ball is the heart of it all – the love that binds us.

Side Window

Despite my proclamations in my blog post yesterday, yes, I did check the news and yes, I did touch my face. A lot.

I typically consider myself a person who feels anxiety more than the average Joe. So when average Joe starts showing signs of his easy-going facade cracking and crumbling, I really start to wig. I hate collective anxiety. I usually consider anxiety, an annoying quirk of my own creation (I sometimes see myself as a prettier, younger, non-pervy, but totally neurotic female version of Woody Allen), so when I see anxiety in every one whom I come in contact with these days (despite my best efforts to be a hermit, and to remain in my own little hole), it really is a bit disconcerting. I saw this quote on the internet a while back:

“Drama does not just walk into your life. Either you create it, invite it, or associate with it.”

I did not create the coronavirus. I am not that diabolical. So far, I have not come down with the coronavirus, nor has anyone in my family and friends circle. We are all washing our hands a lot. We have not invited the coronavirus into our inner circle. However, I am associating with the coronavirus, a hell of a lot more than I should. Checking the news continuously, being on hyper alert for every sneeze and cough, watching the hourly fluctuations of our stocks, rationing our toilet paper, are all activities that are not at all helpful to my mental health and thus the mental health of those around me. Drama is not good for me. I must own the part that I am playing in associating with the drama of the coronavirus. I cannot control where this coronavirus situation leads to, in the future. But I can control taking care of the health of my body, taking necessary precautions, and then doing my best to let the rest go. My mental health is a big part of my overall health. I need to walk the talk of my faith. I can let this coronavirus situation be a dramatic over-the-top, punctuated, highlighted lesson of how I sometimes allow other situations (political/interpersonal/social, etc.) grow and bloom and take a life of its own, in my own mind, until my mind is stuck on a 24/7 channel of a ridiculous, overly dramatic soap opera or news feed. And then I’m stuck in that situation where, although I can’t stand the show that I am fixated on, I can’t seem to find the fortitude to turn it off.

“Fear and control is a Lincoln Log. We cannot give up our need to control (illusion of control) unless we are willing to relinquish our fear; we cannot give up our fear unless we stop trying to control. The two are inextricably linked. Where we are fearful, we try to control. When we try to control and invariably fail, we become more fearful.” – Anne Wilson Schaef

“Trusting the process of life isn’t about taking your hands off the wheel. It’s more a matter of holding on to the wheel and just the wheel – controlling what you can and letting the rest soften and blur in the side window as you pass.” – Holiday Mathis

I am going to create the “Fortune for the Day” from things I cut out and taped to the cover page of my 2020 calendar:

The Spell of Friday

Hi friends and readers!! I’m ready for Friday. How about you? New readers, Fridays are dedicated to favorites here at Adulting – Second Half. Sometimes my favorites are songs or things or beauty products or food or whatever. I strongly encourage you to check out previous Friday postings for more favorites and please, please add your own favorites to the Comments section. Speaking of favorites, here’s a kindly reminder: McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes are back. They also have a Shamrock McFlurry this year. I can personally attest to the fact that both are delicious, as ever. No particular “things” are sticking out to me as favorites this week, so I’m just going to list some good words of wisdom, I pulled from my internet browsing and reading, this week:

“Difficult roads lead to beautiful places.” – f of f (Twitter)

“It’s okay if you don’t like me, cause not everyone has good taste.” – f of f (Twitter)

“You don’t have to change your life overnight, but try to add good things to each day.” – f of f (Twitter)

“Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.” – Tiffanie Seiler

“When you put someone on a pedestal, they will always look down on you.” – unknown

Effect – bring about a result. Affect – to make a difference. (good grammar tip)

“You can’t bring up my past to break me, that’s what made me.” – f of f (Twitter)

“Keep in mind that you don’t have to feel brave to do brave things. Brave is more of an action than a feeling anyway.” – Holiday Mathis

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” – f of f (Twitter)

“True friends stab you in the front.” – Oscar Wilde

“Give a man a mask and he will show you his true face.” – Oscar Wilde (think internet trolls)

“I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life.” – Darryl Worley

“Romantic love is a kind of spell. As anyone who has ever read a fairytale knows, spells have a way of being broken. That’s why it helps when you have many different kinds of love for the same person. The loyal love you feel for country and family; the compassion you feel for the young, old, or weak; the playful, competitive love that siblings and friends share_ if all these kinds of love are woven together in the same relationship, it can withstand the precarious ups and downs of romantic love and even out some of that drama.” – Holiday Mathis

Ana Rosa
In every sense of the word . . . . .