Tag: habits

Ruts

“Habit is necessary; it is the habit of having habits, of turning a trail into a rut, that must be incessantly fought against if one is to remain alive.” – Edith Wharton

(****On an aside, I first started today’s blog post with “I think that the most important thing . . . ” and then I stopped and I deleted “I think“. Of course I think what I am writing. That is why I am writing it. When I add “I think” it is unnecessary, and makes it seem apologetic and less full of conviction. I remember getting blasted by an English teacher once, for starting every sentence with “I feel”. First of all, feelings are sensations. They are not thoughts. Feelings are a direct result of our thoughts and our actions. Secondly, if I write something, I should be able to stand by it, with conviction. Thank you to all of my wonderful English teachers throughout my schooling. Your lessons were not lost on me. <3 And yes, we writers do feel a lot about what we think. I feel. I definitely feel.)

The most important thing about taking breaks from your normal everyday life, whether it be on a trip or even a “staycation” is that you stop digging the rut of your everyday life. A rut is literally “a long, deep track made by the repeated passage of the wheels of vehicles” (Oxford dictionary). Vehicles often get stuck in ruts. So do people. Doing anything differently for a day, or a week, or a month, always changes your perspective to some degree. It gives you insight you didn’t have before. Taking the trail off of the rutted road helps you grow in new directions.

One of the meanings of vacation is this “a respite or a time of respite from something”. Is there something you need to take a respite from in your own life, so you can consider it more carefully? Look at the normal routine of your every day and ask yourself, “Why?” about everything. Be your own annoying five-year-old kid. Why? Why? Why? Why do I make my bed this way? Why do I eat these things? Why do I go to bed when I do? Why do I watch what I watch? Why do I belong to this club or organization? Why do I part my hair this way? Do these “whys” still make sense for me?

When I am on vacation, being the curious person that I am, I am a huge observer. I observe how other people do things. And then I observe my own reactions to my observations. I often start a few new trails in my own life, based on my new observations and my reactions to these observations.

Vacations do not have to be exotic trips abroad. Vacations are just movements away from our own rutted roads. Vacations are respite from our ruts. Give yourself a vacation from just one “everyday thing” in your life today. Journey off the rutted road.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

609. Do you do your utmost for the environment?

Differently

I read an excellent article by Karen Nimmo this morning. She writes that when deciding what we want in 2023, we should ask ourselves this question: “What do I want to do differently next year?” She also suggests that we spend some time with this prompt: “I’d like to spend more time . . .”

If we spend some time seriously pondering these ideas, and then actually write our answers down, we can have a template to reflect back on when nasty old habits, routines, and living life on auto-pilot starts inevitably occurring in the new year. We can remind ourselves of what is truly important and nourishing to our souls and we can live 2023 more purposefully than we have ever lived before.

This can be so much for effective than making new year’s resolutions that most people break before February even arrives. I’ve written this before but it bears repeating: Run towards what you DO want, not away from what you don’t want. If you just “run away” you tend to run aimlessly into the first “escape” that appears. If you run towards what you DO want, you have an aim and a purpose and a mission. If you ask yourself why you want what you are running towards, and write those reasons down, too, this will give clarity, passion and understanding to the needs you are trying to meet for yourself.

What do I want to do differently next year?

I’d like to spend more time . . . . .

If you care to share your own answers to these questions in my comments section, I would be delighted to read them. They may spark intriguing, inspirational ideas for me and for my other readers. Thank you in advance. Happy December!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Refreshed and Renewed

I’m baaaack! This past weekend is the first weekend that I took off from writing my blog since I started writing it back in July 2018. It felt strange. I automatically sat down to my computer Saturday morning, but then laughed at myself and forced myself to get back up and to do something different. What I learned from this little experiment of mine, was priceless. I missed writing my blog. I missed my readers. A lot.

Sometimes, we fall into patterns and habits and schedules and we wonder how we even ended up in certain “ruts.” I think that I was afraid my writing had become rote to me and to you. But what I learned is, that this writing is necessary for me right now. It is a passion for me. It makes me feel more alive. It is not a habit, but now, almost a necessity for me. It has become part of my breath of life.

This past weekend was a little emotional for me, for many reasons. One of the biggest reasons, was that for the first time, I didn’t celebrate Easter with our six-person nucleus family. My eldest son lives in a different state now and luckily, he was able to spend the holiday with family members and even had other offers for celebrations, that he had to turn down. So he was fine and the rest of us were all together, so we were fine, but it was one of those acute moments of understanding how much our family life is changing and how much it will change, in the years to come.

Building up to Easter, is when my emotions were escalating. I bought so much candy for our kids’ Easter baskets, that the checker asked me if we were having a party. I had to put it on two credit cards. (okay, the credit card part isn’t true, but the first statement IS, pathetically, true) I was obviously in overcompensation mode. The funny thing is though, when Easter rolled around, I felt good. I felt calm. I felt peaceful. I felt hopeful. I felt the promise of the holiday.

Thank you for your understanding my need for a break. Thank you for still coming by to read past posts. (I see the stats.) I hope that whatever your traditions and beliefs are, that you were able to celebrate a beautiful spring weekend with people who you love. I hope that you feel refreshed and renewed. I do. And it feels good.