Please do not miss John Krasinski’s third segment of SGN (Some Good News). It brings such hope and joy and fun, to this otherwise bleak situation which we find ourselves in. Here’s the link:
I’ve taken an informal survey among my family and friends and we all agree that at this stage of the game, it is like we have one good day, followed by one “meh” day, and then, another good day, followed by a low day . . . . . the cycle seems to be a pretty regular “up and down, up and down, up and down”. I find my better days are when I am looking forward to something, like a particularly good tasting meal, or for the final episode of Ozark Season 3. (Ozark Season 3 is really, really good.) I allow myself to feel the feels of the bad days, though, too. I’d rather process this coronavirus situation, while it is happening. I mean, I definitely have some time to do it, the time to process this mess. I don’t want to end up with ulcers, or sleep disorders, or worse personal issues, when we come through this, to the other side of it all. I’d like to process it all, and to come out to the other side of it, stronger and better than before, in all areas of my life that are truly important to me.
My one grandfather used to half-jokingly say to us kids, “Quit your crying, or I’ll give you something to really cry about.” Now, I realize that psychotherapists could have a field day with that statement, but I knew that my grandfather would never really do anything to us, except spoil us with candy and dance with us, while he played his harmonica. My grandparents were all part of the Greatest Generation. They experienced the Depression as children, my grandfathers fought in WW2 and they saw their children grapple with Vietnam, and all of its after-effects. The Greatest Generation experienced a lot of ups and downs in their lives. We all do. Yesterday, I read an article talking about Generation Z (kids that are in their late teens and early 20s) having the highest anxiety and depression rates, among all generations. The article, written by a writing professor, asked her students to explain why they thought this phenomenon is happening (this discussion with her students, happened pre-coronavirus). She was puzzled because she didn’t see Generation Z as having any more than the usual problems that any other generation of kids go through such as divorced parents, worrying about paying for school, social issues, etc. She and her students came down to the premise that there are only two things that are majorly different for Generation Z, from other generations of young people. One was that they are exposed to so much social media. The onslaught of information, makes it obvious about what parties or outings that the teens weren’t invited to, there has been a whole new layer of bullying added to the dark mix of mean, and even the constant barrage of posts by celebrities, showing nearly impossible physical beauty standards have become the expectation of an entire generation to keep up with and to emulate. The other thought as to why Gen Z feels more anxiety than most, is that we diagnose people more than we ever have before with disorders. What was once just considered “quirky”, is now divided into many mental diagnoses, often with prescribed medicine in tow. Strangely, the fact that so many of their friends are diagnosed, makes kids more likely to look for their own disorders and challenges. It is sort of like when you were a little kid and you really wanted braces and glasses of your own.
The author of the article concludes that by facing our worst fears and doing it all together, in this coronavirus pandemic, the good that might come out of it, is that it will be a huge perspective changer, for her students and for everyone. Can you even remember any of the little, annoying things that were niggling at you before this quarantine happened? The professor says that before the coronavirus epidemic, she saw her students constantly “borrowing” other people’s problems, to create a little drama and excitement in their own lives. Currently we all have enough disturbances on our own plates, that none of us would ask for another helping, not even a sprinkling, thank you very much, of extra fear and anxiety to add some spice, to our own over-spilling piles, on our plates of fear and doom.
I once read a parable that if we all took our own problems and we put them in the middle of a circle and then we were told to run into the middle of the circle and grab the same amount of problems that we had put into the circle, it is most likely, that we would all grab our own problems back. We treasure our problems. We are greatly attached to our issues. We nurse them constantly. We know them intimately. Now, with this great equalizer, the coronavirus at play, a lot of our collective problems are starting to look very similar, to varying degrees. We have all been brought to a level playing field of concerns, mostly with our health, and the health of our loved ones, being our utmost, highest priority. Without our health, life really doesn’t happen. If living comes down to just desperately holding on to our struggling breaths, than all of our other disturbances mean nothing more than a pile of dust on the ground.
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.” – Steven Pressfield
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela