Tag: first day of school

Monday-Funday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

“Best first day of school photo ever!!” – Rex Masters (Twitter)

“So long, partner.” – Woody, saying farewell to Andy in Toy Story 3

Don’t you just love how little kids’ backpacks are almost as big as they are? And this sweet little boy has the matching Marvel lunchbox, to boot! He’s ready to go!

I’ll never forget the day that I saw Toy Story 3 in the movie theater with all of my children. Toy Story 3 is about when the main character, Andy, is now all grown up and leaving the nest for college. My eldest son was 14 at the time, and this was honestly the first time that it really, completely hit me, in an deeply emotional sense, that all of my four children were going to leave our house, for their own adult lives, someday, too. (It certainly didn’t help that on that very day, I had also found out that close friends of ours were moving several states away. Little did I know at that time, that our family also would be moving away to a different state, soon after. Isn’t it funny how life works?) Anyway, the loss and the melancholy that I was feeling while watching Andy say good-bye to his Mom and to his beloved toys, was a tad overwhelming. I remember burying my face in the popcorn bucket, praying that my kids wouldn’t notice my tears and choked sobs. That buttered movie theater popcorn, probably tasted extra wet and salty that day. And hopefully, extra delicious. (It was coated in love.)

I have sort of gotten used to the good-byes, and the new starts, these days. (as much as a mother can) Last week, I helped to move our youngest son, who is a college student, into his fraternity house (It was easily the cleanest that I’ll ever see that place.) He’ll live there all year. It was also my daughter’s first full week of her senior year in high school, and this past weekend, we celebrated the start of my middle son’s medical school experience with his “white coat ceremony”, where he got his “official” white coat with his name embroidered on it. My eldest son, who is a grown adult living on his own with his great job in the technology sector, graciously helped to cheer on his younger siblings, as he always has done. Our eldest son has always been an amazing “lead dog.” So this was my long winded way of saying that our family is finally settled into our fall routine. And that feels really good to me. As a woman who has been a mother for twenty-five years, I’ve learned to live by the school calendar. I like to feel settled into a routine. I feel like I can breathe more soundly now, knowing that each of my children has “a place, and a plan.” Fall always feels more secure and organized than summer. I welcome the change that fall brings to me and to our family, after experiencing hot, adventurous, lazy, and sometimes even erratic summers. Summer can be scattering. Fall is formulated. I welcome the sense of order and structure that Autumn brings back into our lives. I wonder when all of our children are completely on their own, if I will still experience the change of seasons, and how it affects my daily routine, as profoundly as I do now? It will be interesting to see.

“But the thing that makes Woody special, is he’ll never give up on you … ever. He’ll be there for you, no matter what.” – Andy, sharing with his mother about Woody’s importance in his life.

The Last First

Today, I took our annual “first day of school” picture by the front door. We have been doing this for 20 years now (My eldest son, the eldest of four children, is 25). It is my daughter and our youngest child’s first day of her senior year of high school. This will be the last “first day of school” picture that I will ever take of our children. I’m feeling a little sniffly. I am trying not to sob. This is going to be an emotional year.

I’m the eldest “child” in my family. I was even the eldest grandchild on both sides, by five years. Frankly, I didn’t always love the pressure of the spotlight. I didn’t love always having to be the lead dog, and having to figure things out for myself (often the hard way). But, I did feel special and important and mature. I guess in some ways, I even felt a tad entitled. In my mind, for the burden of being the eldest, I “deserved” the biggest bedroom or to stay out later. I think that I always felt that I should have a “bigger say” in my little sister’s life, than she should have in mine. I now realize that’s silly. We deserve(d) equal respect.

I feel for my daughter. I am trying not to dump all of my emotional baggage into her backpack as she heads off to her last year of her childhood. She doesn’t need to be weighed down. I realize now that the youngest children in families, have to share all of their own milestones, with the entire family. The eldest children mark the beginning of it all, and the youngest children are the “official closing ceremony” of the raising of any particular family. That’s a heavy burden for the beloved babies of any family. Too much attention can be a big burden, especially when it is laden with emotion and melancholy and an endless reel of memories. This year, I’ll do my best to keep in my own lane, as I process this “ending/new beginning” stage of my own life, and this new stage of our family life. Hopefully, my baby will not notice (or at least pretend not to notice) when I hug her to me, harder than ever before.

27 Funny Tweets About Being A Youngest Child | HuffPost Life

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Baby Goes to High School

My youngest child, my only daughter started high school today.  She showed the same kind of nervous excitement she had when she started kindergarten and then middle school.  She has always been full of energy and excitement.  When I would drop her off at her elementary school, she would literally skip into the school.  Today her older brother drove her to school.  I doubt that they will be skipping into the doors, but I could tell that there was a kick in her step.

She got up very early.  Her hairstyle was the prettiest of all of the different styles she has been practicing for the last couple of weeks.  Her outfit had been laid out for days.  I wish I could have laid out a magic invisible shield for her to wear, too.  The shield would protect her innocent little girl’s heart from the inevitable growing pains that come along with the high school years.  Hopefully, our love for her will serve as that shield.  That and her protective big brother, the senior who has been through the ropes, will be her strength when her confidence gets clouded from peer pressure and academic stress.

My daughter has to worry about all of the things I did when I was in high school, but nowadays it seems taken up a notch.  Bullying has a whole new realm with so many different social media options.  The academic pressures are ridiculous.  My two older sons graduated from high school with a year’s worth of college credits under their belts and that was the “norm”; nothing outstanding.  And then there is the fear of violence.  My teacher friend just underwent two intense days of school shooter training, required to be taken by everyone in the district, even substitute teachers.  Dating has to be even more confusing in a day and age when exposure to every walk of life is just a click of a button away.  The sports competitions are intense.  I can’t believe how many of my kids’ friends have sustained serious sports related injuries requiring surgeries before they have even graduated from high school.

It is not my nature to be negative, nor is it my daughter’s.  The trick is to balance hope with practicality, I guess.  Today, I try to put a cloak of faith around everyone I care about with an extra prayer that they use the good sense and the intuition that they were blessed with to make wise decisions.  The first day of school for all of us mothers is a day of Let Go and Let God, and also, where is that extra box of tissues?