Tag: Fiona Apple

Take A Moment

Happy Birthday to my brilliant, beautiful, confident, talented, loving, level-headed, dream of a daughter come true!!! I love you with all of my heart. You are incredible.

***** On a more somber note, my heart is with all of those who have been traumatized by the horrible mass shootings that have happened in rapid succession these last few weeks. While so many of us are craving getting back to “normal”, I don’t think any of us are wanting mass shootings and violence to come back on to the regular scenery of our lives. My fervent prayer is for guidance on how to stop these senseless tragedies. But sometimes I think that we may already know the answer to that prayer. On an individual level, it is our own responsibility to create peace and happiness for ourselves. When we each have a core of peace and happiness, that is the energy that emanates from us, that is the energy that is given from us, and that is the energy which heals and uplifts the world, when it is felt in totality, and generated by the masses. That is what my 2021 tagline is meant to communicate:

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

We are all sharing this beautiful world. Therefore we must each take individual responsibility for our own unique part, in this co-creation of our collected lives. It’s easy to say, “Well, I didn’t shoot anybody.” And most of us don’t stoop to that horrifying level of pain and aggression, but how many times are we sarcastic with our spouses? How many times are we dismissive of our children or short-tempered with people we work with? How many times are we passive aggressive with our friends, or perhaps, on social media posts? How many times do we treat the person who is waiting on us at the store as a machine, as we chat on our phones through the whole transaction? How many times do we mindlessly fill our own bodies with empty, unhealthy calories, instead of tall glasses of water? We have so many choices in our individual days, to take a pause, and to decide whether our next action is one coming from love, or one coming from pain. We are quick to judge other people’s actions. But if we stayed in our own lanes for one day, and really consciously and detachedly looked at each action that we decide to take throughout the day, we might be a bit aghast at how much pain we have a tendency to leak out into the world. And all of that pain adds up. All of those little drips of unhealed pain that we are unwittingly putting “out there” can lead to the crescendos of chilling pain that we witness in society today. At the same token, love works the same way. When we read stories about heroic acts, and kindnesses shown to strangers, we get inspired. We want to be part of that loving experience. We are quick to volunteer our time and our resources to a worthy cause because we are inspired by others’ loving actions. How many times a day do we say encouraging, thoughtful things to our families and friends? How many times a day do we take moments to rest our bodies, or to stretch our bodies, or to drink that tall glass of water? How many times do we make eye contact and offer a compliment to the kind person waiting on us at the store, or to the homeless person sitting outside of the store? Those loving actions all add up, too, and the energy of that Love flows out into the energy of Life, which we are all co-creating. And Love is infinitely more powerful than any hate. Pain waits for us to be unconscious and lazy in our thoughts and then in our actions, so that it can creep out a little bit more and a little bit more, sometimes leading to destructive acts like what happened in Colorado last night. And then pain and hate laughs, devilishly, at our shock and our dismay about the utter awfulness. But the thing about these eruptions of pain and destruction, is that they tend to be smothered by Love. The people of Boulder will hold each other, and they will help each other, and they will heal each other, and prayers will abound. We prove it to ourselves again and again and again. Love always conquers fear and pain. Love reigns supreme. Love becomes even more powerful when it is shared and multiplied. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to reach a point in history, where we no longer have to prove that Love destroys pain? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we didn’t even have statements that say that Love dominates? “Love dominates” – That sounds like a silly oxymoron. Love Is. Love Is. Love Is.

I mentioned the song “Shameika” by Fiona Apple, recently in my blog. In the music video, the first couple of minutes the real Shameika, firmly, calmly, peacefully says, “Take a moment.” This really stuck with me. Lately, before I say something to someone, or before I send a text, or before I put something in my mouth, or before I put something in my shopping cart, I breathe and I hear Shameika’s voice saying, “Take a moment.” And then, in that lucid moment which I am taking, I try to reflect, in a detached way, whether my next action is one of pain, or is one of Love. It is my responsibility to heal my own pain, so that I can be a clear vessel for Love. I can’t heal anyone else’s pain, but I can work towards making sure that my own pain, isn’t adding to another person’s pile of pain. If I determine that I was about to act out of my pain, that means that I have to take a look at my thoughts to see where that pain is coming from. It is a reminder for me to try to work through that pain with acts of Love, towards myself and towards others. This takes a lot of consciousness and honest effort. It’s so much easier to focus on other people’s “stuff”, and what I think that they should do and should be, but that it is pointless and fruitless. We’ve each been given one life, one vessel for Love. That’s a huge responsibility, in itself. But if we each did our part, the light flowing through all of us would expose all the darkness as nothing, just nothing. Light shines the dark away. Love Is. Love Is. Love Is.

Hear Shameika’s “Take a moment” in the first minute of this video. It will stick with you. It’s the most important message I have gotten all year.

How Do You Like Them Apples?

Yesterday, in reading about the winners of the Grammy awards, I ended up focusing on Fiona Apple. I probably spent a good hour of my day, reading various articles about Fiona, her music and her history. On this past Sunday, Fiona Apple won a Grammy award for Best Alternative Music Album (Fetch the Bolt Cutters) and Best Rock Performance (Shameika). She didn’t attend the Grammy Awards Show this year and she explained why, on her Instagram:

“It’s really because I don’t want to be on national television. I’m not made for that kind of stuff. I want to stay sober and I can’t do that sober.”

I have mad respect for that kind of honesty. I read that Fiona Apple once cancelled part of one of her tours, in order to be with her dying dog. She wrote a very loving and eloquent letter to her fans explaining her decision. Fiona Apple has been derided over the years for her blunt honesty, and for not going along with the showbiz game. If I were to focus on one area of the creative arts, which I imagine might be one of the toughest balancing acts, it would probably be for those geniuses in the musical arts. Many musicians are sensitive, empathic poets. Kurt Cobain comes to mind. Bob Dylan actually won a Nobel Prize for literature. “He can be read and should be read, and is a great poet in the English tradition.” (Sara Danius, Swedish Academy) Most musicians are compelled to write their lyrics and their music by uncontrollable forces from deep inside; forces perhaps not even their own. Many musicians love to perform their creations for massive crowds, but not everyone does. I was struck by this quote the other day:

“Writing is something you do alone. It’s a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story, but don’t want to make eye contact while doing it.” – John Green

Talented and discovered musical writers and performers, don’t have that choice of staying semi-anonymous, unlike perhaps writers and sculptors and painters. And because so many people crave the popularity and fortune of famous musicians, those who already have that respect and admiration, are considered ungrateful, and rude, and sometimes even “crazy”, if they do things to stay out of the limelight. Fiona once asked her manager if she cut off the tip of one of her fingers, would that get her out of touring? She was told that all she needed was a note from a psychiatrist.

Whatever you think of her personality, or of her unusual, edgy style of music, to me, Fiona Apple is a genius when it comes to lyrics. I imagine that this is the case because she is so completely unafraid of bare, authentic, brutal truths about herself, and of her experiences. Comedic geniuses do this calling out of the brutal truths of life, all of the time, but comedians hide this fact under veils of light-hearted laughter. People like Fiona, who do the baring of the soul, in a serious, somber tone, are often mistaken for “fragile”, yet really, which method is more brave? Facing the truth about anything, and bringing it into the light, is probably one of the most courageous things a person can do in life, no matter what style they do it. Saying the pure truth is rare, because it is brutally hard to do, even saying the truth to ourselves.

These are the lyrics of the award winning song “Shameika”:

I used to walk down the streets on my way to school
Grinding my teeth to a rhythm invisible
I used my feet to crush dead leaves like they had fallen from trees
Just for me
Just to be crash cymbals

In class I’d pass the time
Drawing a slash for every time the second hand went by
A group of five
Done twelve times was a minute

But Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential

I used to march down the windy, windy sidewalks
Slapping my leg with a riding crop
Thinking it made me come off so tough
I didn’t smile, because a smile always seemed rehearsed
I wasn’t afraid of the bullies
And that just made the bullies worse

In class I’d pass the time
Drawing a slash for every time the second hand went by
A group of five
Done twelve times was a minute


But Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential

Hurricane Gloria in excelsis deo, that’s my bird in my tree
My dog and my man and my music is my holy trinity
Hurricane Gloria in excelsis deo, that’s my bird in my tree
My dog and my man and my music is my holy trinity

Tony told me he’d describe me as pissed off, funny and warm
Sebastian said, I’m “a good man in a storm”
Back then I didn’t know what potential meant and
Shameika wasn’t gentle and she wasn’t my friend
But she got through to me and I’ll never see her again
She got through to me and I’ll never see her again
I’m pissed off, funny and warm
I’m a good man in a storm
And when the fall is torrential, I’ll recall

Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential

Tony told me he’d describe me as pissed off, funny and warm
Sebastian said, I’m “a good man in a storm”
Back then I didn’t know what potential meant but
Shameika wasn’t gentle and she wasn’t my friend
But she got through to me and I’ll never see her again
She got through to me and I’ll never see her again
I’m pissed off, funny and warm
I’m a good man in a storm
And when the fall is torrential, I’ll recall

Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential
Shameika said I had potential

The lyrics tell the story of how important words are to people. Words that encourage, words that notice, words that inspire, are often what keep people going. Sincere words often have the ability to coax out of others, their talents, their gifts, their joys – all which were meant to be shared with this world, making the world a more beautiful place than it ever was before.

Part of the reason why I write this blog is because a previous boss of mine called me “a wordsmith”, and an old neighbor told me she actually looked forward to my emails because she liked how I wrote them, and one of my dearest friends sent me a text one day, telling me that someday I was going to be someone’s favorite author. I have never forgotten these glimmers of inspiration, kindness and direction. I probably never will.

Who in your life has great potential? Who in your life needs to hear it? Who needs to hear they are “a good man in the storm”? Who needs to be told that their unique blend of “pissed off, funny and warm”, lights up your day? We all have been blessed with the “Shameikas” in our lives. And the beautiful thing is that our “Shameikas” probably don’t even know the major difference they have made in our lives and in our actions, by telling us that they “believe in us.” We all have probably also been unwitting “Shameikas” in many other people’s lives. Doesn’t that feel good? I really believe that the Universe mostly uses all of us as “Shameikas” (maybe like angels on Earth) to speak the whispers and the reminders of our life’s purposes and our own joys to us. The Universe can be subtle like that. Isn’t it a beautiful process to be part of, co-creating this beautiful experience we call Life, by supporting and seeing and noticing and admiring and commenting on with gratefulness, all what each of us brings to the Table? No gift should ever go unnoticed. And there are abundant gifts, everywhere, all of the time, from everyone and everything. Let’s speak to them, let’s call the gifts out, and let’s make them shine. Let’s be “Shameika”.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.