The Worst Feelings

I’ve been trying to understand my own obsession with following this awful situation in Ukraine. I’ve come to the conclusion that it reminds me of the various difficult times in my own life when I have felt pretty helpless watching loved ones struggle in their own lives, whether it be with disease or with another physical affliction, or with addiction, or with mental struggles, or with a toxic relationship, or any combination of the above, and I have been unable to “fix it” for them. I have been unable to be the dashing lifeboat, that I so desperately want to be. It is a devastating feeling. And most of us have felt this stabbing pain of powerlessness at one time or another, once we have reached this middle stage in our lives.

The heartache is particularly fervent and desperate and sad, when like Ukraine, the loved one, whom we are trying to help, is doing everything that they can to help themselves, too. The person with cancer, is taking their treatment and their health as seriously as possible, the depressed person is earnestly trying with therapy and medication and exercise and prayer, the addicted person is working the 12 steps and keeping in regular contact with a sponsor, and the person in a toxic relationship is taking serious steps towards safety and independence and self-worth. Like most of the nations in the world are feeling and expressing about Ukraine, we naturally want to help those who are earnestly trying to work themselves out of tragic circumstances. We are so inspired by their bravery, and their resilience and their belief in themselves, in the most trying of circumstances, and this inspires us to do everything that we also can do, in order to support their cause. However, in the end, we can’t be their saviors. Sometimes they can’t even be their own saviors. For those of us who have religious and spiritual beliefs, we know that something greater than us and this world, will save those whom we love and who are struggling, but it may not be in the form that we think it should be in, or in the pretty little Hollywood ending that we would like it to be. Our limited minds can’t see the highest views of eternity. That’s why we call our highest virtues besides love, “faith and hope”. We have to believe in something greater than what we are witnessing with our extremely limited human experience. If we don’t believe that all of the many, many good things in life are worth fighting for, and are worth living for, then we will all just despairingly give up, and we will quickly perish. And that’s just not in our collective DNA. Our Higher Creative Mind hasn’t programmed us to give up. So sometimes, we stop and we take a moment to feel the feelings, even the darkest feelings of helplessness and anger and anguish, but then we rise and we put on our boots and we soldier on . . . .

Quotes About Feeling Helpless. QuotesGram
TOP 25 HELPLESSNESS QUOTES (of 211) | A-Z Quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Live For Moments

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” – George Burns

“When real music comes to me – the music of the spheres, the music that surpasses understanding – that has nothing to do with me, ’cause I’m just the channel. The joy for me is for it to be given to me, and to transcribe it like a medium… those moments are what I live for.”
– John Lennon

Creative arts is all about authenticity, vulnerability, and channeling Greater Forces. That is why we all respond to these artistic outputs, in their highest form. A beautiful painting, a breath-catching photograph, a soul-searing poem, touch us and connect us to the deepest part of ourselves like nothing else can. And then, when we look around and catch a glimmer of that same awestruck feeling that we are feeling, also in the faces of the other observers/experiencers, that’s when we feel the least alone. That is when we feel the silver web of connection that we often forget is there, holding all of us together, creating an amazing, gorgeous tapestry of Life and Love. That’s when gratitude washes over us and cleanses us to our cores, reminding us of what we are all really made of, at our purest form of passionate energy.

My friend turned me on to Lizzo yesterday. Her college-aged daughter introduced her to Lizzo and I earned a lot of “cool mom points” when I picked up my daughter from the high school yesterday, playing Lizzo, at high volume. My daughter knew all of the words already. Lizzo is a female rapper and most of her songs speak of empowerment. Lizzo sings/says a song called “Truth Hurts.” When I looked the song up on Youtube, I saw this comment, about the song, that made me smile:

“this song makes me feel like a strong independent woman.. and i’m a guy.” – Foreign Warren

My favorite line in Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts” is this:

“Why men great ’til they gotta be great?”

If we’re going to talk about equality and empowerment, that line applies to all of us – male and female and everything else in between, doesn’t it? We lose the connection and the channel to our deepest, most creative inspirations, when we start focusing on the response to our output versus the joy of creating (an co-creating) the output. When we start aiming in on how many likes and views and notes of approval from others that we’re hoping to get, the connection to what the Universe is really trying to do with our lives, gets static-y and sometimes even gets disconnected. And we feel lost and confused and disappointed and sometimes, empty. We need to be refilled with what really keeps us connected. And the rub is, what keeps us connected is not anything applauding us on the outside, but moreso, what is deep, and profound, rising up inside of us, just wanting to burst through, in all of its glory.

John Lennon is arguably one of the greatest musicians of our lifetime and “those moments are what I live for” were the moments that he was gifted to “transcribe” what the Universe wanted the rest of us to enjoy, and to relate to and to sing along to, sometimes at the top of our lungs. He didn’t talk about sold-out concerts, or how many people were in his fan club, or his NYC penthouse. Lennon’s “live for moments” were during the creative process, with his juices flowing, and his open heart just taking in everything and transcribing the Love that was meant to touch all of our hearts, every time we listened to one of Lennon’s songs.

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