After my rant yesterday, you’ll be happy to know that I started my Zen meditation/art class yesterday and it was wonderful. And very much needed by me, at so many different levels. I think that the fun part of this empty nest stage in life is discovering yourself again. Surprising yourself about what intrigues you. Reminding yourself about what stirs your own inner core. You become your own major focus and project again, and in the beginning, it’s sort of a strange sensation. You almost feel a little shy and apprehensive, but you also feel a delightful curiosity and pleasure to get reacquainted with yourself. It’s like entering some place that you have been to long, long ago, but this time, you are seeing this place and visiting it again with “fresh eyes.” It’s almost like having a new puppy (or seeing glimpses of that “puppy” in your old dog self). Self discovery and rediscovery are the true blessings of the different stages of our lives.
I have written about “letting go” of outcomes, so many times on this blog, I think there are several dedicated pages and pages to the “letting go” topic. It seems to be one of those lessons in my own life that is going to keep on coming and coming and coming to me, until I finally “get it” and move on and let go . . . (ha!)
“If you hold on to the past (or even something in your present) too tightly, it will lead to anxiety and limit your perception of your options. Have faith in your ability to show up and cope with situations, even if they’re hard. Just because you don’t have evidence yet, doesn’t mean you’re not moving in the right direction.” – Jessica Lanyadoo
I like this reminder that I read yesterday. When you are holding on to your own limited sights and perceptions, and you hold on to what you want an outcome to be and believe that it should be, like a pitbull on a bone (and I am a stubborn old dog who is great at hanging on to my gnarly, rigid, well chewed on bones), you spend your present moments mired in anxiety and frustration and irritation. At this middle-aged stage of our lives, we’ve proven to ourselves, and to many others, the stones which we have to live life. We have gotten through at least 45+ years of life, and all of the ups and the downs and the surprises and the joys and the sorrows and the sweet stuff and the hard stuff and stuff that we never thought we could make it through, but we did. We did! We aren’t just survivors. We’re thrivers. So, word to me – “stubborn pitbull lady”, once you’ve done everything that is in your power to protect your bones, gather more bones, and enjoy your bones, it is then time to let some of them go. Bury the bones for later, or perhaps, for maybe never again. Just savor the bones that are fun to enjoy gnawing on in the present, and keep the faith that there will be more bones to enjoy in each coming day.
“Things don’t always go the way you planned. Fortunately.” – Anonymous
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.