Credit: @MindPsychology, Twitter
It feels so good to be back in my writing seat this morning! Did everyone press your reset buttons this weekend? Are you reset, renewed and rejuvenated for the year ahead? As a big picture person (Thank goodness that I’m married to a detail-oriented person. We’re yin/yang this way. I set up the plans, and my husband makes sure that we have food/gas/directions and a perfectly packed trunk), a question that I often ask myself, or I tell my friends and family to ponder, is: “What’s the endgame here?” What am I ultimately trying to achieve? What’s most important for me in this endeavor?”
When you are dealing with a situation that you are frustrated with, and you are overthinking it, and you find yourself feeling annoyed, irritated, and possibly even stubborn and hopeless about it, take a few steps back. Pause and ask yourself if the thoughts that you are thinking, and the actions which you are taking, are necessary in order to bring you to the ultimate result, which you are trying to achieve. If you ultimately want peace for yourself, is it truly in your own best interest to hold on, like a dog on a bone, to your side of an argument? If you have grown enough in your career to support the overall lifestyle that makes you feel comfortable, is it still necessary to overwork/over-volunteer for things, as if you are desperately trying to climb the corporate ladder? If you want to keep climbing “the ladder” to see what level you can ultimately achieve, do you need to do more? If you can’t stand managing people, is the title of “manager” truly important for you to have on your business card? If you are tired of yard work, could you envision yourself living in a simpler condominium? You get the (big) picture . . . . What’s the endgame here? This “step-back and pause for a minute” question, helps to bring better clarity for ourselves. It shows us what our own honest priorities are in our lives. It helps us to eliminate confusion, and the “shoulds”, and rote thoughts and rote habits, which are things that have a tendency to cloud our clarity on what we ultimately want to achieve, and to feel, on a daily basis. It pulls us out of the deep-dive weed bed of too many details and compulsions.
If you have a frustration going on right now, ask yourself, “What’s the endgame here?” Once you have the end goal figured out, you can then see if your thoughts and your actions and your plans are matching up to that end goal. We all know that there are no guarantees. Life likes to throw curveballs at us here and there. But even when running in circles, it still feels better to know that we have taken clear-headed steps towards a direction of our own choosing.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
