Tag: empty nest

Repository

https://youtu.be/HwLzAdriec0

I have found that I use this blog, much like my calendar and my daily journal, as a repository for information which I would like to easily be able to find again, should I need it. I consider my blog to be a communal bank/library and I hope that you will come back any time, for any information that may be useful and/or comforting to you. I have found the search button on the top right corner of the blog, to be surprisingly good. The above video was shared by the Harry Potter series author J.K. Rowling. She did not get tested for coronavirus but she was showing signs of it, for a couple of weeks and she claimed that this technique was the most helpful tip for her, during her illness. Honestly, though, while I share this in the library of information on the blog, I hope none of us get sick enough to have to use it as a resource.

A while ago, around Christmastime, one year on the blog, I talked about the feeling of being “happily sad” or “sadly happy.” I have found that feeling to be very prevalent during this difficult time, especially as the feeling pertains to children and how this pandemic is affecting them. I read this morning that the prime minister of New Zealand, announced to children that she had added the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, on the essential workers list, and as such, they may or may not be able to do their typical duties, and she asked the children of New Zealand to please understand.

The below video was added to Twitter by a doting uncle, who said that his nephew is among the friendliest little guys on the face of the earth and even through social distancing, he extends warm greetings to perhaps just “imaginary friends.”

https://t.co/yxCepxPHyS

And of course, John Krasinski hit it out of the ball park again with another wonderful addition to his SGN (Some Good News) YouTube series:

Friends, I know it is so hard to feel like just staying home is enough, but it is honestly the best thing that we can do for everyone. Our neighbor is one of our county’s medical examiners. Last week, we shouted greetings across the road to each other, asking him what we could do to help. Without hesitation, he firmly shouted/stated, “Stay hidden. Stay home!” Today is World Health Day. Let’s honor the brave and selfless health professionals who are taking care of us, by doing our part, by being faithful to the guidelines set by the CDC. We are all just doing our best. It makes me happily sad/sadly happy to witness “our global best.”

Arbitrary Reflections

Random thoughts of mine, on a rainy Monday during the coronavirus shutdown:

+Coronavirus is still brand new enough of a word that WordPress underlines it, as if it’s a misspelled word. I really wish that was all that coronavirus is – just a misspelled word. If only we could correct coronavirus, by spelling it differently.

+Three of my immediate family members have celebrated birthdays during this quarantine. Everyone has had the same response along with their well wishes, “This is a birthday that you will never forget!” We keep reminding our kids that they will be telling their grandchildren about these days, many years into the future.

+As a person who leans more towards being an introvert, my lifestyle hasn’t changed all that drastically. I just more hate having the constant underlying anxiety and the psychological toll that a lack of freedom, takes on me. As a person who also leans towards a lot of empathy, my heart hurts a lot, for my more extroverted family and friends, who have had so many plans and experiences stolen from them, from this awful scourge.

+I have an old burnt down candle that is one of my favorite aromas. I keep it on my desk and I smell it every morning, to make sure that I still have a good sense of smell. I like the reassurance and the false sense of security that this routine gives to me, along with imbibing zinc, echinacea, Vitamin C, tonic water (has quinine in it, which is considered anti-malarial) and my Green Vibrance. The “old wife” from “old wives’ tales” notoriety, comes out of me, hard, in times like these.

+My energy levels have dropped significantly. I can’t even seem to get myself to write my daily journal. Sometimes I just write “Quarantine Life” in big block letters on the day’s page in my journal. In Florida, a lot of cars have “Salt Life” stickers on their rear windows. Will they start making “Quarantine Life” stickers?

+There are a lot of really funny people (even if they aren’t great spellers) on Twitter, if you find the right hashtag. One of the funniest threads I saw over the weekend was #TerribleQuaratineAdvice, with quarantine spelled incorrectly. Some funny responses:

Speak openly and honestly with everyone who you are quarantined with.

When heading to the bank, wear a ski mask for protection.

Everyone should switch to a bean-based diet.

What you can’t see, can’t hurt you. Instead of a mask, wear a blindfold.

Play a hashtag game on Twitter, with obvious spelling mistakes.

Enjoy another day of Quarantine Life, friends and readers! I’ll see you tomorrow. Stay well!!!

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Give Me Some Sugar

My friend texted this to our group chat this morning. I know that I typically go for funnier memes on my favorite day of the week, but I think that I have a little “PTSD” type thing going on, after making an early morning excursion to my grocery store. I never in a million years dreamed that I would have to “psych myself up” to make a trip to my own little neighborhood grocery store. Lately, I tend to get there once, every 7-10 days, whereas before, being a mother of a large brood, I often made a daily trip to our store (sometimes even twice daily). I had to wait outside of my store this morning around 7:55 a.m., probably about 20th in line, before it even opened. I was the last one to score some toilet paper. My hats off, once again, to the wonderful workers at the stores. The managers, the clerks, the bakers, and the baggers were so patient, courteous and kind. I asked if Publix was taking good care of them and they assured me that the company was doing right by them. Thank you, Publix.

New readers, I call Fridays, Favorite Things Friday. I don’t try to get too serious on Fridays, so I’ll try to keep with that light-hearted tradition, as we go through this truly surreal experience, together. Please look at previous Friday posts for more favorites. This week, I decided to start a weekly movie night with the family on Thursdays, while we are all quarantined together. I would have made ” Family Movie Night” a more frequent event, but the rest of the family seemed to think that once a week, is what works best. (Baby steps) Last night was the inaugural night and we watched a fascinating documentary. It is called Searching for Sugarman. It tells the story about an American musician named Rodriguez who became incredibly famous (more than even The Beatles or Elvis) in South Africa in the 1970s, without knowing it. It was a fascinating watch and even better, I discovered some new excellent music (and the lyrics are pure poetry) for my playlist. So here is my favorite new music. Give these tunes a listen (“I Wonder” is my ultimate favorite, second on the play list):

I’m also in the middle of reading a fascinating book. Ironically, it was also written by a South African. It is called The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life by Boyd Varty. I won’t get into a synopsis of the book. I think I’ll just take you into the weekend with my favorite quote from the book. The quote requires some rumination. Take care, dear friends. We’re in this together. Have a peaceful, fulfilling weekend. Here’s the quote:

“I don’t know where I’m going, but I know exactly how to get there.” – Boyd Varty

#Everyday Heroes

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If you are like me, struggling to find ways to be helpful throughout this crisis, I thought that these were wonderful ideas. So, I copied these peoples’ thoughtfulness and put out a little box of goodies today, by our front door. These pictures were found on Twitter with #ThanksForDelivering trending.

I stopped off at a local Walgreens yesterday to see if they had any toilet paper. They didn’t. Of course. I bought some laundry detergent and I waited patiently behind a blue tape line several feet away from the cashier who now stands several feet away from the counter. The cashier is a woman who has waited on me before, so we got to talking. I asked her if she ever thought that her job would end up being one of the bravest, most stressful, through this whole ordeal. She replied that she hadn’t really thought of it that way, but she was doing okay. She did say that she looked in the mirror every morning, and noticed an exponential quickening of her aging process.

We are blessed by having heroes all around us, through this pandemic. Of course, our doctors, nurses and health practitioners are tireless heroes. Our soldiers, police officers, fire fighters and first responders are amazing heroes. Our political leaders, having to make quick and wide-sweeping decisions, at the blink of an eye, are awe-inspiring heroes. Our teachers, having to change the course of their lessons from “in-person” to on-line, in very short notice, are truly heroes. Our journalists and photojournalists, bravely going out to get the straight stories, on the depressing front lines are heroes. Our grocery store/drug store personnel are incredibly brave and dutiful heroes. And our delivery drivers, probably busier than ever, putting fear to the side, to do their jobs, so that the rest of us can do our duty, to mostly stay at home, are magnificent heroes. We are so blessed to be surrounded by every day angels, who are just people – people, just like you and me. And sadly, it took this awful coronavirus crisis, for us to fully understand and to appreciate this truth. I am so grateful to have my eyes opened to the every day angels, who support my life, in normal times and also, in the hardest times of all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Bill Gates Knows

My aunt forwarded this in an email to me yesterday. What a wise, wonderful, brilliant man! Bill Gates is a class act. His life has been a gift to our world.

*BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE FROM BILL GATES**What is the Corona/ Covid-19 Virus Really Teaching us?*

I’m a strong believer that there is a spiritual purpose behind everything that happens, whether that is what we perceive as being good or being bad.

 As I meditate upon this, I want to share with you what I feel the Corona/ Covid-19 virus is really doing to us:

1) It is reminding us that we are all equal, regardless of our culture, religion, occupation, financial situation or how famous we are. This disease treats equally, perhaps we should too. If you don’t believe me, just ask Tom Hanks.

2) It is reminding us that we are all connected and something that affects one person has an effect on another. It is reminding us that the false borders that we have put up have little value as this virus does not need a passport. It is reminding us, by oppressing us for a short time, of those in this world whose whole life is spent in oppression.

3) It is reminding us of how precious our health is and how we have moved to neglect it through eating nutrient poor manufactured food and drinking water that is contaminated with chemicals upon chemicals. If we don’t look after our health, we will, of course, get sick.

 4) It is reminding us of the shortness of life and of what is most important for us to do, which is to help each other, especially those who are old or sick. Our purpose is not to buy toilet roll.

 5) It is reminding us of how materialistic our society has become and how, when in times of difficulty, we remember that it’s the essentials that we need (food, water, medicine)
 as opposed to the luxuries that we sometimes unnecessarily give value to.

 6) It is reminding us of how important our family and home life is and how much we have neglected this. It is forcing us back into our houses so we can rebuild them into our home and to strengthen our family unit.


 7) It is reminding us that our true work is not our job, that is what we do, not what we were created to do. Our true work is to look after each other, to protect each other and to be of benefit to one another.

 8) It is reminding us to keep our egos in check. It is reminding us that no matter how great we think we are or how great others think we are, a virus can bring our world to a standstill.

 9) It is reminding us that the power of freewill is in our hands. We can choose to cooperate and help each other, to share, to give, to help and to support each other or we can choose to be selfish, to hoard, to look after only our self. Indeed, it is difficulties that bring out our true colors.

 10) It is reminding us that we can be patient, or we can panic. We can either understand that this type of situation has happened many times before in history and will pass, or we can panic and see it as the end of the world and, consequently, cause ourselves more harm than good.

 11) It is reminding us that this can either be an end or a new beginning. This can be a time of reflection and understanding, where we learn from our mistakes or it can be the start of a cycle which will continue until we finally learn the lesson we are meant to.

 12) It is reminding us that this Earth is sick. It is reminding us that we need to look at the rate of deforestation just as urgently as we look at the speed at which toilet rolls are disappearing off of shelves. We are sick because our home is sick.

13) It is reminding us that after every difficulty, there is always ease. Life is cyclical, and this is just a phase in this great cycle. We do not need to panic; this too shall pass.

 14) Whereas many see the Corona/ Covid-19 virus as a great disaster, I prefer to see it as a *great corrector*

SGN

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My friend texted this meme to a group chat the other day. It is a wonderful change in perspective.

John Krasinski has always been one of mine and my family’s favorite actors, but he just went up even one more notch, with this awesome show that he started on YouTube. He calls it “SGN”, short for “Some Good News”. If you woke up with ingrained worry lines on your face, take 15 minutes out of your day, watch this video and turn your frown, upside down.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5pgG1M_h_U&feature=youtu.be

Stay well, friends. We’re battling through this together. We’re going to be fine. I had to laugh the other day when I went to get groceries because the first song to pop up on my shuffled playlist was Bob Marley’s “Every Little Thing.”

And the next song that came on, as I pulled into my grocery store’s parking lot:

Everything’s gonna be alright . . . . we’re stayin’ alive!

Fortune for the day – “Never does nature say one thing and wisdom another.” – Juvenal

Soul Sunday

It struck me the other day that this is probably the first time in my life when I have actually felt more vulnerable due to my age. I’m approaching 50. This “dawning” was a middle age turning point for me. It was one of those awakening moments that reminded me that I really am headed into the autumn of my life. My heart goes out to you all who are in your 60s and beyond. It must be terrifying, at times, concerning the coronavirus. I feel for you.

Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. Please publish your poems in my Comments section. This is a poetry workshop, where we should all feel safe to share, our free flow of thoughts. Here’s my poem for the day:

The Trick

Who knew that we were all part of a fantastic illusion?

We were the white rabbits and the silk scarves,

in a grand sleight of the hand.

We thought that we were in on the trick,

Winking, knowing how the “magic” works.

We, as lovely assistants, sometimes smirked at the Magician,

Sneered at the fools in the audience,

Only to be brought to our knees,

By a horrific force, too tiny to even be seen.

Now we are all in this together,

Humbled by the unknown,

No longer wishing to just be entertained,

No longer full of pride and disdain,

Just praying for the real magic to fix this all,

In order for us to be wholly healed,

Sewing together all of our parts that have been sawed apart,

And for the trick to be over, so that the real magic can begin . . .

What I am Learning

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This is from Twitter, with “What I am Learning in Quarantine” trending right now.

Here are some of my favorite answers from the thread:

+How easy it is to practice social distancing from a scale

+My procrastination skills are more expert than I thought they were

+Being a homebody saves money

+I now use my phone to find out what day it is

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+Pets really do make the best coworkers

+That teachers are not paid enough

+How to use the least amount of toilet paper as humanly possible

+I’m not very good at social distancing from the refrigerator

+I love eating more than I love cooking

+I miss my kids being toddlers, learned no one ever . . . .

+It’s easy to take the simple things for granted

For me, I’ve learned that I think that I might actually be enjoying this forced, “no guilt” slowing down of my life. I feel incredibly grateful for my family and for our health and I’ve learned the fact that we still live together, pretty peacefully, in close quarters, despite all of the kids being grown up and having lived on their own. I am grateful for the ability to Face Time our eldest son in New Jersey and I am grateful to have learned that he is a wise, careful, conscientious young man, with cabinets full of beans and dry goods. I’ve learned that he can take very good care of himself. I’ve learned that I’m more grateful for the ability to text friends and family than I ever realized. I love the instant ability to connect and to laugh and to cry about this situation at the same time, together, even while we’re apart. I’ve learned that my dogs and other people’s dogs are the best entertainers/therapists/company/exercise physiologists/huggers/intuitives on the face of the earth and I love them even more than I did before. I’ve learned that nature is a meditation unto itself and there is nothing more beautiful than the wildness of our Earth and its creatures and it’s a renewing treasure that has been given to all of us, for free. I’ve learned that doctors and nurses have a level of bravery and a stoicism that is almost unfathomable. I’ve learned that I feel grateful that there are people out there with the inclination to want to lead and to manage our communities, and our states and our countries and to try to discern and to make the best decisions for everyone. I’ve learned that I have more compassion and less contempt for our leaders through all of this. They’ve taken on “Mission Impossible” with a great deal of energy and courage and hope. I’ve learned that if I let myself feel all of my feelings and I try not to judge them, they flow through me, in a very fluid way. Sad doesn’t stay at sad. And anger is good at burning itself out pretty quickly. I’ve learned that at my very core, there is a serene peace and acceptance that inherently knows that everything is alright. Despite all of the outer turmoil, and fear and uncertainty, we are all okay and we are all going to be just fine.

Fortune for the Day -“When you possess light within, you see it externally.” – Anais Lin

Well With My Soul

Friday has kind of lost its novelty, a little bit these days, hasn’t it? I still love Fridays, though. Friday signifies completion of a harried, momentous, emotional week with the realization that we are still alive and kicking. We are survivors and we are thrivers.

I keep lots of inspirational notebooks, where I paste things that move me, whether they be pictures or words. Yesterday, I pulled out one of the notebooks that I kept during the last major recession. Two things stood out to me yesterday from this particular notebook. One is this simple prayer (sorry, I don’t know who to credit):

Dear God,

Please stop the storms within me.

Make peaceful my mind and calm my heart.

Reveal to me the love around me,

That my fear might fall away.

Amen.

Second, these are Maya Angelou’s beautiful, inspiring words:

“Love heals. Heals and liberates. I use the word love, not meaning sentimentality, but a condition so strong that it may be that which holds the stars in their heavenly positions and that which causes the blood to flow orderly in our veins.”

Here are some of my favorite actions taken during these very tumultuous times. These are very apropos of a good Favorite Things Friday:

+My friend sent a link to this yesterday to our friend group chat. I can’t stop listening to it. This hymn was always a generational family favorite.

+Over 12,000 Airbnb hosts opened their homes up to medical responders to the victims of the coronavirus.

+Kylie Jenner donated one million dollars towards medical equipment to her local hospitals. (She’s now my favorite Kardashian)

+Crocs, the shoe company, is giving away its shoes free to healthcare workers during this traumatic time.

+The luxurious Four Seasons Hotel is giving free stays to NYC doctors, fighting for lives of coronavirus victims.

+James Dyson (think vacuum cleaners and hand dryers) came up with a new ventilator model design in just ten days. What a brilliant man! He is producing 15,000 of them and donating 5,000 of them to the international effort to save lives.

+My friend in Virginia was part of a “teacher parade” yesterday, where teachers paraded in their caravan of cars, throughout the neighborhoods of their students. They held up poster board signs of love and encouragement, giving students a sense that “all is going to be okay”.

+A “sewing army” as they are called, of volunteer crafters, are making thousands of homemade masks as a back-up, should our medical workers fall short of their own supply.

++++++Late addition, but I had to add it. Drew Brees and his wife donated five million dollars to Louisiana towards coronavirus relief and look how big-hearted Hoda Kotb (Today Show) reacted. So touching and real:

These are just a few of many remarkable acts of love, generosity and courage, which have come out of this dark, harrowing situation we are facing these days. Please, please add any wonderful stories that you have heard in the news or have seen in your own neighborhoods, in my Comments section. Love prevails. Don’t forget that. Love ALWAYS prevails. Have a wonderful weekend, friends. Look for the helpers. They are EVERYWHERE.

Lipstick Fixes Everything

Thank you for checking in and letting me know that you all are okay, friends! That really made my day. I just found an old teddy bear and I carefully placed the little guy in one of our front windows. There is a fun trend going around the world, called “Bear Hunt.” Parents who are trying to get their little ones out for walks and bike rides, look at houses and count the number of bears they can find in the homes’ windows. Someone started up the Bear Hunt in our neighborhood. I hope that it brings the little ones joy and their parents some respite. The Bear Hunt game brought me some cheer, carefully positioning our little guy, smooshed up against the glass of our window. I wonder how many times that our bear will get counted today. I hope that he gets counted many, many times, and with the counts, I hope, comes a lot of smiles.

Another thing that I read about the other day, was that some schools are doing “Virtual Spirit Weeks.” So, I believe yesterday was “Pajama Day”, which is something probably more of us celebrated without even realizing that we were part of “Virtual Spirit Week.” People are so ingenious and creative and hard to keep down. I love it!

It’s interesting to observe yourself and the rest of the world, with how we are handling this forced shutdown. I’m honestly afraid that I’m too rattled right now, to really take full advantage of what this break could do and mean for me. My son said, “Mom, this is your time. Write a book.” I just can’t seem to get motivated to start on that project, or much of anything else, honestly. I find myself being highly distractible right now. I can’t even keep a focus on reading, which is one of my absolute favorite pastimes. I guess that once I come into more of an acceptance of everything that has happened, and an understanding that this is going to be our way of life for a while, I will be able to recreate a temporary, satisfying new routine. I just hope that this dawning of an “acceptance of the situation” doesn’t come too late for me, so that I can fully take advantage of the hidden gifts that this time has to offer.

In other news, I have actually put on make-up about 3-4 times since we have been holed up in our home, for about two weeks. I have found this to be a particularly uplifting experience, when I have mustered the energy to do it. It is like seeing an Extreme Makeover in my own mirror. There is a remarkable difference between “I don’t even give a damn. I haven’t seen my brush in days. Baseball hats are my friends,” to “Wow, mascara really is a difference maker and maybe our grandmothers were on to something, when they coined the term, ‘lipstick fixes everything’.”

Something that really made me chuckle during our “house stay” so far, was the night that my daughter forced my husband and our sons to play the old-fashioned board game Mystery Date with her. My daughter has a dark side and she was utilizing the passive-aggressive control that her birthday afforded her, to torture the men in our lives. Misery loves company, I suppose. Mystery Date was a board game first released by Milton Bradley in 1965. The object of the game is to collect “the right clothes” for “the right date” and to not get stuck with “The Pest”, a scraggly looking guy who doesn’t look like he could take a lady out for a McDonalds hamburger, on a good day. I quickly agreed to wash the dishes, so that I could just watch this scenario, like it was a hilarious sitcom. The last time Mystery Date was re-released by Milton Bradley was in 2005. I don’t think it will be re-released any time soon, in this era of #MeToo. It struck me that men would probably get tarred and feathered, if they had a male version of the Mystery Date game. What would the female version of “the pest” look like and how loud would the outcry be? Also, all of the pawns of the game, are pretty ladies, who look like Stepford Wives with just different colored dresses and shades of hair. In today’s world, shouldn’t the pawns be men and women and everything in-between????

Clearly, I have too much time on my hands, in order to spend too much time in my head, thinking about things like the Mystery Date board game, and its social implications. My family has probably reached a time in our seclusion where we are starting to drive each other crazy. I have enough self-introspection to understand that my habit and my obsession of overthinking just about everything, loses its charm quickly.

I love you all. I know that we will all get through this, better than we were before. Take good care. Stay well and please stay in touch.

Fortune for the Day – “One finds joy in living through love.”