Tag: empty nest

Friday Loads

Friday, viernes

Hi friends! Happy Friday!!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!!!! New friends, Fridays are light and breezy. We keep it on the surface here at Adulting – Second Half, on Fridays. On Fridays, I typically list three favorite books, songs, products, food stuff, etc. that just makes life a little bit more fun, and I strongly encourage you to tell us about your favorites in my Comments section. Please see previous Friday listings for more good stuff. With the holidays around the corner, we need good ideas for gifts and pleasures. On that note, my friend who is a grandmother, just got her Amazon Prime Wish book in the mail. Her granddaughter can put stickers (that are included with the wish book) on the toys that she would like Santa (and her doting grandparents) to bring her. I love this “blast from the past”! Remember those days of drawing circles and stars on the toy catalogs?!

Today’s favorites (mine):

Medisafe app – As you know, our youngest son is epileptic and it is crucial that he takes his medicine regularly and around the same times, each day. (and keep in mind that he is a 19-year old fraternity boy . . . yeah) This app for his phone has made a world of difference for making sure that he takes his meds on time, and that he is not confused about having taken them or not, because of the way it reminds him with friendly, repeating messages and alarms. (It’s like me, his mom, in app form) It also requires him to check off that he did, indeed, take his meds. It has been a game changer in his medicine management which gives all of us great peace of mind. If you or your loved ones have medications which are needed to be taken regularly, check out this free app for your phone. It can literally be a lifesaver.

Snyders Pretzel Rounds – I am a total sucker for the next new thing. These pretzels are about the size of marbles. They are adorable. They don’t taste any different, but they are damn cute. I think big crusty pretzels can be messy and crumbly to eat. These Rounds eliminate that element of pretzel chomping. They also look adorable in a bowl. It’s a safe way to try something “new” to snack on. Don’t get yourself in a twist to enjoy some pretzel fun. (not everyone agrees though – my husband calls them “dust balls”)

Theorie Pure Professional Volumizing Shampoo and Conditioner – According to every hair stylist I have ever gone to, I have a lot of hair, however, it’s a lot of very thin-stranded hair. I am always trying to get more volume in my hair. This shampoo and conditioner has given me more success than the myriad of other brands which I have tried, without much success. This is my holy grail shampoo and conditioner, to get my Marge Simpson bouffant rocking.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Friday vibes I hope you have a replacing and restful weekend! repost from my girl @jasminehemsley But really as a business owner are you ever "out"/finished on Friday? #workontheweekends...

Happiness

Fun things that made me happy lately:

+We were on the beach with Trip, our Boykin spaniel puppy, and he was racing around chasing all of the little, perky, harmless sandpipers into the water. Then, in the distance, he saw the BIG game. Big Bird (an enormous prehistoric looking heron) was standing on the shore in all of his glory. Trip bounded towards Big Bird, full speed ahead. Big Bird, looked annoyed and scoffed at the puppy, and he firmly held his ground. Trip, realizing that Big Bird was not going to go the way of the sandpipers, instantly put on the brakes, and the skid marks in the sand, were several feet long. My husband said that the sand looked like bunched up carpet. Nature and animals make me happy.

+I was at the beach last night watching the sunset with my good friends. Another group of women were laughing and celebrating close by. One woman was dancing around with her long beautiful gray/white hair. When we all headed to the shore, to take pictures of the sunset, we noticed that the one woman in the circle of friends, with the long hair, wore a t-shirt that said, “I am 70 today!” She made 70 look fabulous, and I instantly pictured myself in the future with my dear friends, 20 years from now. Friends and celebrations make me happy.

+We had our weekly Facetime chat with our four “children” last night. One “child” is a grown adult man who lives in another state, two of my “children” are college men away at school, and our daughter, who is a junior in high school, chatted from her bedroom, while my husband and I sat in front of my husband’s iPad in the kitchen. I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older, that I really enjoy “the chatter” and “the banter” of my family. I try to pay attention to the details of the conversation, but I often get lost in just watching the familiar mannerisms and energy that make each person who I love so much, themselves, and also the chatty, teasing, loving, supportive, easy energy that is the true essence of my family. My family makes me happy.

What makes you happy? Just focus on that today. Put your attention towards what makes you happy, and let the rest just be. Give yourself a happy day. You deserve it.

Motivational Monday | Amy Tangerine | Positive quotes, Reasons to be happy, Words

Tears

Image

I was discussing sadness with some of my friends the other day. We talked about how when you hold emotions in, there is always going to be huge pressure building that is bound to end with a negative outcome. When you hold in anger, inevitably an explosion occurs when it can’t be held in any longer, and often innocent bystanders get attacked by that force of emotion. When you hold in fear and anxiety, the results can end up in things like panic attacks and nervous breakdowns. Stress is one of the biggest causes of disease and discomfort in our bodies. And when you hold in sadness, the dam that is holding back all of the tears, will eventually buckle under all of the pressure, but in the meantime the building up of the sadness inside of a person, becomes all encompassing, like a vast, quickly rising, swirling body of water, making it hard to breathe and giving the sensation of drowning. However, if you use God’s natural release valve, and you cry some tears, there is less pressure on the inside, because the tears let the sadness flow out, and eventually the rivers and the streams of tears of sadness, dry to just a trickle.

Whatever we are feeling (and 2020 has certainly been a harvest year for feelings), let’s find healthy, positive ways to release these feelings. When we hold in any one emotion, that emotion has a tendency to take up the whole of us, and doesn’t allow room and space, for the variety of emotions (and a lot of enjoyable emotions) which we are meant to process and to experience, every single day. When we feel the ease of a peaceful conscious, we have open gates and open dams which allows all of the different feelings and sensations that we experience on a daily basis, to freely come and just as freely, to go. When we can accept our feelings as just part of being human, we don’t have to hide them and store them and let them build up inside of us. We can just quietly notice our natural feelings, allow our feelings to be, and process our feelings, in natural, healthy ways (like crying tears) and then just as peacefully, we can let those feelings go, leaving lots of space for happiness and tranquility to seep in.

Let it Flow

Image

Thank you, Think Smarter (Twitter), for the above meme. The very young and the very old really have so much to teach us about “just being.”

We all know the wisdom of being in the now. There are whole industries and book stores filled with the importance of living for the moment. How do we get to, and stay in, that state of “just being in the moment”, though? It isn’t easy, is it? A friend, years ago, told me that she visualizes the flow of life/God/spirit coming into her, at the very top of her head and flowing in and all around her. When she finds herself to be angry or fearful or controlling, she knows that it is time to unkink her proverbial hose, so that “the flow” can come easily in and through her, once again.

When my kids were little and cranky, wanting to know when we were going to leave the grocery store or to get to a vacation spot, I used to say (in my calmest, wisest Mom voice that I could muster), “Go with the flow.” Sometimes that worked and sometimes it just annoyed the crap out of them. They still remember it, though. My mostly adult children still like to say “Go with the flow”, in a weird moony voice, when they are teasing me about their childhood years.

What if we looked at negative emotional states as a short in our system? What if, when we are feeling mad, sad, or scared (and all of the little nuanced feelings that fall under those big categories), we saw those emotions as “Check Engine” lights? What if, in those moments of unrest, we pulled over to the curb, for a pause and unkinked some hoses, with prayer, or with positive thoughts of gratitude, or a visualization of handing over our worries to bigger, more capable hands. Unless we are master mechanics, most of us don’t know how to fix our cars when the “Check Engine” light appears. But we take our cars to service stations which we trust, to fix them. We take our bodies to doctors and healers, when we get physically hurt or sick. We take our minds to classrooms and read books, to learn and to grow our knowledge and the reasonings of our minds. Where do we take our souls to get fixed? Whatever feeds your soul, whether it be at church, or at a temple, or listening to music, or communing with nature, or communicating in prayer and in meditation, (only You know what that is, as it is a highly personal thing for your Spirit to commune with what makes it whole), make sure that you are giving yourself those maintenance appointments for your Soul. Make sure that your hoses are unkinked and your electric starters are firing on all cylinders. Make sure that the energy you are burning is sustainable and not likely to burn you out. Take those much needed time-outs, so that you are able to “go with the flow” in order to live a purposeful and meaningful and peaceful life. The flow is the only way your Spirit knows how to travel.

Flow is the nature of energy; flow is another name of life | Picture Quotes
Lao Tzu Quote: “Those who flow as life flows know they need no other force.” (23 wallpapers) - Quotefancy

Soul Sunday

Hi friends. My regular readers know that Sunday is devoted to poetry. On Sundays, I write a poem or a share a poem written by another poet. I strongly encourage you to share your poems in my Comments section. I will never allow negative comments. I consider Sundays to be a safe, creative, full of release, poetry workshop here at Adulting – Second Half. Poetry is the song of the soul. Today I am sharing a poem written by Louise Glück, our a Pulitzer prize winning poet, who recently won the 2020 Nobel Prize for Literature. This poem is from her acclaimed book of poetry, AVERNO.

Imagine Friday

Julian Lennon Eddie Van Halen
From left: Paul Natkin/Getty Images; Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

The picture above is Julian Lennon superimposed with Eddie Van Halen. Today would have been John Lennon’s 80th birthday and sadly, we lost a musical great this week, with the death of Eddie Van Halen. My friend mentioned that Eddie Van Halen never learned to read sheet music. If that isn’t proof of innate born purpose/genius/spiritual passion, I don’t know what is!

Happy Friday, my friends!! We made it to the weekend! On Fridays, we keep it light on the blog. I call it Favorite Things Friday, here at Adulting – Second Half. On Fridays, I list three favorite things, songs, beauty products, food items, etc. and I strongly encourage my readers to add your favorites to my Comments section. Here are my favorites for today:

Olive & Cocoa – If you are looking for an alternative from sending a standard flower arrangement, go to this website. This adorable company has a wide variety of flowers, food stuff, gift-y items that really are unique and lovely and more personalized than what you typically find from this genre of store. This is one catalog, which when I receive in the mail that I am actually happy to get, and to peruse its pages. Most of the items are sent to people, in these adorable little wooden crates that just make the whole gift seem that much more special to open.

Tagua Nut Jewelry – Tagua nuts are often referred to as vegetable ivory. They come from the seeds of certain palm trees. I recently purchased a tagua nut bracelet that has been dyed the most fabulous shade of aqua. (the dye inks seem to just seep right into this material) The jewelry made from tagua tends to be big and chunky and colorful and makes for the perfect statement piece of what could otherwise be a bland or plain outfit.

Putumayo Presents Paris Cafe CD – For those of you who are old-fashioned and tactile like me, go to the putumayo.com website and buy this CD that I was bragging about earlier this week. If you have more modern tastes, Putumayo also has playlists that you can stream on Apple Music or Spotify, which are also found on their website. The website also sells colorful, unique greeting cards and children’s books from all over the world. I highly recommend spending some time on their website. They know their stuff!!! And it’s the good stuff!

Have a happy weekend, my dear friends and readers!!! I am so grateful for you!!

Happy Quotes John Lennon | Inspiration Boost

Impossible

Lately I have been letting myself get sucked into the soup of negativity. My moods can turn into a downward spiral and I found myself swirling closer to the drain than I like to be. It is so much nicer to float on the surface. The murky depths were getting to me. So, for me, my best medicine to get my lower self out of my head, is to drive my convertible with the top down, sing at the top of my lungs, and just see where the drive takes me. Yesterday, my ultimate destination was to pick up dinner at The Fresh Market. I adore that grocery store. It makes me feel grown up and sophisticated to shop there. Everything is slower paced inside of the store. The lights are dimmed (almost like candlelight), symphony music plays subtly in the background, fresh cut flowers abound, no one walks fast or talks loudly on their phones while perusing the edible delights that are just about everywhere you look, and even the check out people are uninterruptedly deliberate, unflappable and even-paced. If you have a hard time meditating, just shop in the The Fresh Market. It’s a walking meditation.

Now getting back to my story – before I reached The Fresh Market, I was driving around, happily and aimlessly, and I realized that I was in close proximity to another delightful, unique French boutique that is in my vast collection of happy places. I don’t get there very often because it is a good half hour away from my home and is sort of a hidden gem, with no other stores near to it. I saw on my phone that it was open until four p.m., so with excitement fluttering in my chest, I steered my mechanical baby (my car) towards the boutique. I hadn’t been there since before the coronavirus mess, so I eagerly awaited our energetic embrace. I could feel my moodiness lifting, as I was driving, singing, and looking up to the bright blue sky, as I made my way to my savored destination.

As I turned the corner towards the store, I noticed that the boutique didn’t have their usual array of impossibly pretty planters (or jardinière, as the French say) out by the windows on the sidewalk. As I drove up to the strangely empty parking lot, my heart sunk down to the drain hole again, when I saw an enormous, indifferent “for sale” sign, on the empty, soulless, bare building that once housed a bustling spirit which took you away to France, without ever having to board a plane. I started cursing the fates. Why wasn’t I being supported in my attempts to uplift my energy?! (I have an unhealthy habit of personalizing everything.) Still, even at my depths, I am a ruggedly stubborn optimist. Google said that the boutique was “open.” Google had green open hours connected with my beloved boutique. Google is Big Brother. Google knows everything. Could my boutique have changed locations? I went to the Wizard of Google and I did actually find an alternate address. This address was just five minutes away.

You can guess the rest of the story. My darling little French boutique still exists! It has weathered coronavirus, and while smaller and cozier, its spirit still remains strong and elegant, as the shop owner hands out complimentary tea in beautiful porcelain tea cups, as you peruse her lovely, charming shop. As you know by now, I am always looking for the life lesson in everything. This experience reminded me to not lose hope. All is not lost. Gardens come back after winter, and all robust gardens started out as just tiny little seeds. When there is a will, there is a way. I purchased a CD of various French songs typically played in Parisian cafes (yes, even my husband was shocked to know that my car has a CD player) and I sang out loud, to words which I do not understand (but my heart seemed to know that they were wonderful words) and I headed to my next living meditation, in order to buy my family’s dinner makings.

Vouloir, c’est pouvoir. (When there is a will, there is a way.)

Impossible n’est pas français. (Impossible isn’t French.)

“Dog” Training

Our two male dogs have a love/hate relationship. Similar to my sons, when they were little boys, “rough play” can change on a dime to “fight club”. Years ago, I remember noticing that when my sons were playing flag football in our side yard with their friends, more time was actually spent playing “tackle football” over the interpretation of “the rules”, than any real game time. Still, even after a nasty, loud, teeth gnashing scuffle, our fur boys are always back to being friends in a matter of minutes, much like my sons and their friends were, on the sports fields.

In talking to a dog trainer/animal behaviorist about how to quell this situation with Ralphie and Trip (our male dogs), the trainer stated that with dogs living together it comes down to two things: the energy of the people of the house, and being proactive versus reactive. When the people carry a calm, decisive, in control energy about themselves, the dogs better understand the expectations of their behavior and are more likely to comply. And by noticing one of the dogs giving the other a hard stare and ending it right away, or putting a stop to frenzied play that could soon turn aggressive, this proactive behavior is much more effective, that completely losing it, by trying to stop a dog brawl in action. These two action plans have worked very well, and our household is happier for it, both the human and the canine members.

It struck me that these two rules apply not only to dog training, but to life in, general. The energy which we carry around is sensed by everyone and everything around us. I recently read that you can give yourself more confident energy if you strike the Wonder Woman pose before you do anything hard. I’ve tried it and it works. Confident energy is sensed by everyone and is responded to accordingly. (Either that or people give wide berth these days, to a strange woman in a Wonder Woman stance 😉 ) Being proactive in any situation, saves a lot of energy, resources and heartache, versus constantly putting out fires, by being reactive.

I have a sneaking suspicion that most dog training has very little to do with the dogs, and much more about training humans. The trainers just have to keep us confident by reminding us that these simple life hacks, which work to keep a happy pack at home, can also get us far in any situation in life. The trainers have to call it “dog training” in order to protect our fragile egos. Dogs aren’t “smart” enough to have overblown egos. Of course, the best reminder from my recent call with the trainer was that snacks and positive reinforcements do wonders. On that note, I think that it is time to fix myself a morning snack.

Fair Warning

Never pick a fight with a woman older than 40. They are full of rage & sick of everyones shit.

One of my friends texted this meme to our group chat yesterday, and we all heartily related to it. I sent the meme to a different friend group chat and there, I also got a very enthusiastic response. The most relatable response from one dear friend (we are all in our late forties), was this . . . . “Hell, yeah!” My friends are all lovely, fun, interesting women. I wouldn’t accuse any of us of being typical “Karens.” People like us. Or at the very least, we like each other.

However, realizing that I had hit a chord, I decided that this would be a good topic to blog about, so I started looking up articles about female rage in middle-aged women. Unfortunately, though, everything that I perused on the internet, just made me feel more annoyed and irritable than ever. Supposedly, hormones are often to blame for our collective seething anger, and many articles gave suggestions to take hormone therapy (while risking breast cancer) or to take anti-depressants, but with the warning that these medications often have the side effects of more weight gain and decreased sex drive, which are some of the biggest complaints that middle-aged women have about aging, in the first place.

I personally think that there’s a whole lot more to the story of middle-aged female rage, but finding the solutions lost my interest. . . . quickly. Anger can be a very fun and energizing and empowering emotion, when channeled appropriately. In the meantime, others (of different ages, sexes and categories) should take the above warning very seriously. We women of a certain age tend to be highly combustible, and none of us seem to find it particularly necessary nor prudent, to justify why we are this way. Nor are we particularly interested in finding a solution to it and changing it, any time soon.

“Your anger is a gift you give to yourself and the world that is yours. In anger, I have lived more fully, freely, intensely, sensitively, and politically. If ever there was a time not to silence yourself, to channel your anger into healthy places and choices, this is it.”
― Soraya Chemaly author of Rage Becomes Her