+ I recently mentioned The Five Minute Journal, as a wonderful tool to get started in journaling. There are two questions to answer every day that really make me pause and ponder. The first question is “What would make today great?” This question really brings up “stuff”. Like you find yourself asking, “What’s too much to ask for? Is that just total fantasy? Is that a selfish desire?” or sometimes my line of thinking goes to, “Am I asking for enough from myself and my life? Am I settling?” Sometimes I get really stumped on this question (especially on a “normal” day when there isn’t much planned except the usual routine) and I take this as a good sign. I already live a “great” life. Sometimes what makes a great day is just the peace and comfort of going about my every day experience. And only I can get in the way of “great”, by adding unnecessary worry and rumination. The other question that you are asked to answer every day in this particular journal, is to be answered at the end of the day. The question is, “What did I learn today?” At this middle stage of life, sometimes we get trapped into believing that we already know everything there is to know. “What did I learn today?” is one of those humbling, bring yourself back down to Earth/touch grass questions that tells you, if you can’t answer it, that maybe what you learned, is that adding more self-awareness and curiosity and open-mindedness in your life, may lead to a much fuller experience of living.
+ I’ve recently gotten hooked on listening to the “A Little Bit Culty” podcast as I go about my everyday chores. The founders of the podcast are a married couple who are survivors of the NXVIM cult. They interview survivors of other cults in each episode, in order to help others recognize that they themselves may currently be in a cult, or to help inform people so they do not become susceptible to joining a cult. This is one of those shows/programs that is so easy to go, “What?! How could you ever believe that ridiculousness, or think that this is normal thinking?” But if we are honest with ourselves, many of us probably carry around some beliefs about a variety of topics, that if we truly, openly, and candidly explored these beliefs, we might realize that these beliefs no longer serve us, nor are they in alignment with our deepest core values (this also happens in society – look how much has evolved in civil rights and women’s rights, just in our own lifetimes.) People are most susceptible to join cults when they are young children (they do not have a choice, they are fully dependent on others for their survival), and also in times of big life transitions such as adolescence into adulthood or entering into empty nest. (like so many of us are doing). People often join cults because they are in one of those fearful, existentially lonely times of searching, and they want to believe that someone else has all of the answers. So they give their power away. My biggest takeaway from these cult survivors is to never give your power of reason away, to anybody or anything. Question everything that you do and you think and really ask yourself if that is your own true belief, or is that what has been programmed or conditioned into you, by someone else. You really do have all of the answers inside of yourself. Resonation/intuition is quiet, deep, wise, persistent and knowing. Make listening to yourself, your highest priority before listening to anyone else. Another takeaway I’ve gotten from the show, is that so many of the survivors left their culty experiences without any sense of self. Their whole identity had been stripped away by someone else’s belief systems. Their experiences are a reminder to compassionately give yourself regular time away from your duties, roles, social circles, social media, entertainment choices, etc. in life, to check in with yourself. “What do I like to do? What resonates with me? What feels purposeful and meaningful in my life? What, when doing it, makes me feel fully “in the flow” of creating my own original life? What feels out of alignment in my life? What no longer serves?” One time a very wise person suggested that a good question to constantly ask yourself is not if an experience is “normal”, but is this experience “healthy” for me? Healthy is a much better long-term arbiter of choices in life, than what is considered to be “normal.” I am sure that we could all make long lists right now of what has been, and also what is currently happening, which while considered to be currently “normal” in society, is in no way, actually “healthy.”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.