Covid 19 Archives - Adulting: Second- Half

All of the Flags

How beautiful! Brazil projected the flags of our countries on to its “Christ the Redeemer” statue last night. As awful as all of this COVID-19 situation is, I do love the feeling of the world working on something together, and putting so much of the hatefulness aside.

This is one of those times in life that I am trying to expand my patience and my understanding of people and their reactions to this experience, and I am also hoping that they are doing the same for me. What is the “right” reaction to these times? Is there even such a thing? It is said that when parents experience the tragedy of losing a child, they are 50 percent more likely to get a divorce. I believe that this has a lot to do with the fact that we all process our emotions, our trials, and our experiences, differently, in an internal sense. We grieve differently, and on different internal time schedules. We know this and yet we are aghast, when externally, people are all behaving so differently towards a situation, that it makes us start questioning our own reasoning and our own sanity. That’s all very uncomfortable, isn’t it?

Like all times in raising children, I am having to hold my ground in what I believe we, as a family, have to do to keep not only our family safe, but also our community safe and our medical workers safe, so that our hospitals aren’t overrun and our doctors aren’t sick. In my opinion, these have to be our priorities. Clearly, not everyone has the same opinion, as I do. Our beaches are packed. It is times like these that I have to remind myself that I can only control my own discernment, my own actions and reactions, and to put the focus back on to myself, and the well-being of me and my family. Everyone processes things differently. Everyone takes time to let things “sink in.” Everyone has different beliefs on how this all should be handled, individually and as a community. And who really knows, who is really “right”?

I think that I have witnessed a lot of denial, and anger, and rebelliousness, in myself at times, and also, with other people. No one wants this to be happening. No one created this virus. No one wants their lives changed instantly, in what feels like a blink of an eye. But, the virus is here. It is causing deaths, and disruptions, and shut-downs, and economic pain, whether we think it should, or not. It is what it is. We can only control our OWN reaction to it. To try to control others’ reactions to it, is futile and a waste of time. To lament and to judge and to resent others’ reactions to it, only causes pain for ourselves. At the same time, we don’t need approval from others about our own decisions and our own reactions.

A reset button has been hit on the world. As a society, we are in a major pause. Many of our lives have been reduced to being “quiet with ourselves”, in a way, which many of us claim to want, all of the time. Yet, a lot of us seem very uncomfortable with this new reality, this new introversion, and so we still try to control everything outside of ourselves. If ever a time, there was going to be the life lesson about self exploration, self examination, self love, self acceptance, now is going to be the time. And the beautiful outcome of that is, if more of us come to that level of self understanding and acceptance, we will feel that same, all-encompassing compassion towards all others, and the world will be an even more beautiful, uplifted place. I see the world as a Phoenix, who will rise beautifully, and cleansed, and simplified, and renewed, from the dark ashes of loss and of fear and doom and sadness.

I thought that Think Smarter (Twitter) put it beautifully, with this post:

Stay well, friends and readers. I love you and I am here for you.

Thank You, Health Workers, Thank You

Fortune for the day – “Anticipate the good so you may enjoy it.” – Ethiopian proverb

Sometimes it takes something monumentally jarring, to shake us out of our unconscious fog, our dull routines, our smug righteousness, and our unhealthy patterns. On an individual basis that can mean an accident, a job loss, a health scare, a broken relationship, or a death of a loved one, among other things. There is nothing like a crisis to bring our most important priorities into sharp, clear focus. That is the good that comes out of all crises. We quickly remember what we are most grateful for, when whatever that is, is threatened to be taken from us. I pray that we all now realize that our biggest priorities are not our political leanings, the size of our bank accounts, the championships of our favorite teams, or where we are going on vacation this summer. Our biggest priority, clearly, is our collective health, our common humanity, and how we all respond to this health crisis, together, on a global basis. Without good global health, we cannot live life as we know it. Everything we love about living, the everyday experiences, the daily freedoms and joys, quickly get eroded away, until we are all isolated, alone and afraid to do anything. Does it take something this extreme for us to realize how much of living comfortably and easily, we take for granted?

A lot of people who I know, have been comparing the scenes lately in the grocery stores, in the neighborhoods, and on the news channels, to science fiction movies, where we inhabitants of Earth, have one common enemy, that we must come together, in order to defeat it. I always feel so excited and energized and proud, when all of the actors in these sci-fi movies, from every background, every nation, come together, pool their resources and make mince meat out of the “evil” invaders. I hope beyond hope that we have a glorious, reality-TV moment, in the near future, where we muster all of our greatest strength, and all of our collective brilliance, and all of our deepest compassion, from every corner of this globe, and we put this COVID-19 thing behind us, triumphantly, and unitedly.

Most importantly, I want to say thank you, especially to all of the VERY brave health workers out there, all over the globe. Your bravery and sacrifice and calm countenance, is awe-striking. You are showing all of us what is the very best about our humanity. Thank you for that much-needed reminder. You are true, selfless leaders. Thank you for everything. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

How the Universe Works

Fortune for the Day – “The state of love is the state of grace.” – N. Sri Ram

My mind is jumping all over the map on this first Monday, after the time change. So, please, please, jump right in with me, if you want be part of the jumble soup. You never know what will bubble up to the surface.

Yesterday, I felt the need to get out of my element. In the morning, our middle sons headed back to their university, after a cozy, relaxing, restful spring break, this past week. During last week, I had a false sense of security, having most of my baby birds home, safely in our nest. I was able to encourage them to open their beaks wide, as I plunged zinc and Vitamin C, down into their throats, on a daily, regular basis. Now, I will only get the daily reassurance via texts that they are okay, like the ones I eagerly await from their grown, older brother. So, to try and escape my low-level anxiety and a little bit of my let down about a family-oriented week that passed by too quickly, I encouraged my husband to ride along with me, with the top down, on an adventure. We took the beach road, which is always a lovely drive, but I honestly didn’t do it for the sightseeing or for the salt-air breeze. I wanted to get an honest, in-person impression of how COVID-19 was effecting our spring break season, which is huge around here. Our shore-front economy relies heavily on its tourism. I can report back, dear readers, that I was encouraged by what I saw. While traffic and crowds weren’t quite as heavy as they typically are around this time of year, the beach towns weren’t anywhere close to being ghost towns. There were still throngs of happy people, of all ages, holding hands, as they strolled down the sidewalks. Also, we are having cooler than average temperatures lately, so that could have something to do with the crowd being slightly thinner, as well. In short, I felt encouraged. People haven’t stopped living, and loving and laughing. The world hasn’t completely stopped, despite what the news channels are saying, at least not in our neck of the woods.

In other contemplations, I had my usual experience of getting stuck at the light at the intersection of my daughter’s high school and a busy four-lane high way, despite the light being green and me wanting to just make a quick, zippy little right on to the road, in order to avoid the miles-long line, of rush hour traffic, that makes a red light at this intersection, feel like an eternity, and some. I seriously could write (and probably even have time for some editing) my entire daily blog, at any one of our red lights, that is how long our stoplights last, here in Florida. The reason why I got stuck at a green light, was the usual reason. A tall, thin, healthy-looking young man, presumably a student at the high school, crosses the highway, every morning, as if he were taking a long, slow, contemplative, pausing to take time to stop and smell the roses, meandering stroll, down memory lane. Wearing his earphones, it is as if this boy is in his own precious musical video, entirely oblivious to the fact that he stands in front of throngs, of over-caffeinated, stressed out, running late, rush hour characters, all waiting at the starting line, chomping at the bit, with their feet just begging to slam on their gas pedals. Depending on my mood each day, I respond differently to this frustrating situation. Sometimes I feel worried and scared for him, as the motherly part of me (that motherly part that seems to be growing exponentially, as I age) wants to beckon to him, waving him over frantically, to save himself, from the line of aggressive savages, waiting angrily, at the starting line of the cross-walk. Sometimes, I want to scream at him and maybe even slap him upside the head, convinced that this young man is in his passive-aggressive teenage element, loving the control that he lords over everyone, even if it means taking his own life into his hands. Sometimes I use this experience as a lesson in patience and understanding, telling myself that I know nothing about this boy. He may even have physical or mental issues that necessitates his slow, deliberate pace. Maybe it takes every ounce of courage that this young man has in him, to make this daily trek, across the highway to school. Maybe I’m the jerk for even ever assuming anything else. Regardless of my response, the situation is what it is. I could try to adjust the times we leave to go to school. I could try taking a different route to the school, or I can accept the situation for what it is, but regardless of my reaction, the boy will casually and nonchalantly cross the highway on a daily basis, no matter how I choose to handle this fact, with my emotions and/or with my actions. Hmmm, I think that there is a broader lesson here. Maybe I should use the times that I will invariably get stuck at this intersection, to contemplate what lesson I am needing to glean from this situation. Then and only then, when the Universe is sufficiently convinced that I have learned the lesson, will the situation likely take care of itself, in the most wonderful way possible, a way that I might not even be able to imagine. That is how the Universe works. I know this fact. I’ve lived long enough to experience this phenomenon, again and again, in my almost fifty years of life. It always comes back to trusting, doesn’t it? To quote the Mandolorian, (and Jesus) and quite a few other wise ones, “This is the way.”

Fear and Excitement

The above is from my favorite Twitter feed, Think Smarter. I live in Florida. We get a lot of visitors from other states, and even other countries, particularly at this time of year. People who are retired, or people who are on fun, relaxing vacations, are definitely operating at a much different speed and mindset, than the rest of us full-time, every day Floridians. I guess that it all comes down to thoughtfulness and awareness that none of us are the Center of the Universe and thus, please act kindly and accordingly. At the same time, we full-time Floridians truly appreciate, and we are entirely grateful for the tax revenues that our Snowbirds and our Sight-Seers bring to us, and for that, we add a few seconds of patience and restraint, in the grocery stores, before we start sighing loudly, glaring sharply, and then go stark raving mad, ramming shopping carts into fully stocked shelves of juice and wine. Consider yourself warned.

On the subject of warnings, I allowed myself to get caught up in the COVID-19 frenzy last night and actually contemplated spending $689 for a couple of surgical masks. (but then my husband reminded me that we have some kind of protective painters’ masks in a dusty container in our garage, probably from 1999, and our fishing gaiters actually look way cooler and more fashionable than surgical masks, so I put my credit card away) Still, even though I don’t ever get the flu shot, and I spend a sizable amount of money on immune system related supplements every month, and I mostly stay at home by myself every day, by last night, I was scoping out crematoriums, as I had myself convinced that I had the symptoms of COVID-19, and I was hopelessly doomed to a breathless death. In all seriousness, I do hope that all of this panic and alarm calms itself down, and that we can find a quick and reasonable way to contain the virus, heal the sick, and soothe all of our collective fears.

Along those lines of thought, I read something recently that stated that the emotions that we feel when we are excited and the emotions that we feel when we are fearful, are remarkably the same. Perhaps when we feel ourselves getting out of control, feeling darkening fear, we should shut off our computers, shut off our phones, and our TVS, wash our hands (for 20 seconds – sing “Happy Birthday” twice – quietly, and to yourself, if you have a lousy singing voice), and instead think about something that we are excited about. Notice that the feelings of fear and excitement are remarkably identical. To stay on the positive side of the identical feelings, stick with the positive thoughts of elation and happy anticipation, knowing that COVID-19 will soon become ho-hum news of the past, and it will be readily replaced with something else horrible in the news, which we can terrorize ourselves about.

Happy Friday Eve, friends and readers!!!

Fortune for the day – “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” – Aristotle