Tag: choices

Monday – Funday

I know that I haven’t given the blog the attention that I usually give it these last few days. I’m in a pondering state of mind. It’s like I’ve finally fully accepted that my husband and I are truly empty nesters and now my mind wants to go to all of the “what ifs/what’s next/what do we do with this extra “freedom”/what is my/our vision for going forward.” This line of thinking takes me down many rabbit holes. It’s exciting and daunting and frustrating and interesting and something my husband and I both need a consensus on, in order to go forward with anything. I’ve written about this before, but this is an unsettling time in life, much like any other milestone period. It was mostly a well-defined path to drive the boat down the narrow stream of working, raising the family, limiting our choices to people/places/things etc. that made the most sense for “raising the family” in the best manner for us. Now our boat has landed from that narrow stream to the wide opened up mouth of the Gulf of Mexico. What makes the most sense for us right now? The paths are lot more wide open, and not quite as clear, than they had been for most of our adult lives. Having multiple choices can be formidable. And yet, my least favorite state of mind is “hanging in limbo.” I hate feeling directionless, and yet I know that the pondering and the considering and the weighing of options is vitally important before heading out to sea. Thankfully, my husband and I are yin and yang this way, in relationship to each other. So while we sometimes get really annoyed with each other, we also save each other from too many over-the-top impulse decisions, and yet also from sitting with too much paralyzing indecision, in equal form. We’re good for each other in this way.

And so my dear, wonderful readers, please bear with me in the coming days. Getting around to finally writing the blog this morning has actually been really cathartic for me. (Even though I was really wanting to stay exploring one of my deep diving rabbit holes.) Writing always helps me to see “where I am at”, and it helps to give me clarity. Writing is as good a reflection of oneself as any mirror, if you are willing to be honest and vulnerable with yourself. Writing helps one to “see” any situation more clearly.

To write well is to think clearly. That’s why it’s so hard. ~David McCullough.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2538. What is the most daring thing you’ve ever done?

The Question

I was reminded recently of an excellent, clarifying question to ask yourself about a situation that you feel muddled and conflicted about. It is a question that will help you to get really clear on your own deepest desires. This is not to say that this should be the only criteria when making major decisions, but it gives you a starting point as to pointing you to what you really want, and helps you to go from there. Here is the question:

“What would you do if it was only possible for you to take your own happiness into account?”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1910. What is the most expensive thing you have ever lost?

Godfidence

I read a word the other day on a sign that has become a sort of meditative mantra for me lately. The word is “Godfidence“. The word itself sounds powerful and solid and omnipotent, doesn’t it?

The hardest thing about loving your adult children is that you must love them without always loving their choices. And you have no right to circumspect their choices for them, like you could do when they were little. You just can’t pick up their arms and drag them away from trouble, like you did when they were cubs. It was so much easier to be the ferocious mama bear when all of the dangers were “out there” and the cubs quickly fell in line behind you. When your cubs are grown, what is dangerous becomes a bone of contention between you, and everyone just has to fend for their own comfort and safety. That’s when this mama bear has to remember to breathe and stay solid in her “Godfidence.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.