I wanted to share with you a major award I received a few years ago. I was hesitant to share it with you, because I understand that a lot of my readers are mothers and I didn’t want to make you feel bad. Perhaps some of you have won this award in previous years, yourselves. Maybe even some of you are even in the “Hall of Fame.” Here it is:
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. (I figure that you are probably giving me applause right now.) I’m very proud of this award. I actually picked it up for myself. I just knew that my family wanted me to have it. I am a very intuitive person. I actually wrapped it up for myself at Christmas one year, and I acted totally surprised and delighted when I opened it. It was so fun to watch my four children eye each other up and down suspiciously, trying to figure out which one of their siblings was the suck-up. See, “Best Mom Ever” move, if you ever saw one.
In all seriousness, I want to award all of my readers who are mothers this award right now. Copy it, print it and hang it up where you can see it every single day! Mine sits right on my desk. And if you are not mothers, pick out what you are, realize how much time and energy and life force you have put into being the most important personal identity that you have, and award yourself for it!! Best Wife Ever, Best Dad Ever, Best Husband Ever, Best Dog Mom Ever, Best Boss Ever, Best Friend Ever, Best Sister Ever, Best Provider Ever, Best Philanthropist Ever, Best Child Ever – give yourselves the damn awards!!
Mothering is a guilt-filled job. We never think that we do it right. We try to be the best parts of our own mothers, our own grandmothers, all of the best TV moms ever played, what all the expert books tell us to be, a twin to that “soccer/PTA/doctor mom who still manages to bake cookies in high heels”, and we always come up short. We think that we fail miserably and we get up the next day, and attempt it bravely all again. We forget that we have an entirely different set of circumstances (and an entirely different set of kids) than our mothers had, our grandmothers had, than what is on the fictional TV/movie set, the study subjects in parenting books, or even what our friends and neighbors have in their lives. We forget that we are our own individuals with our own personalities, and what our kids really need is just us, our most authentic selves. And they need to see us love ourselves, forgive ourselves, and honor ourselves for trying our best. Our children watch us, and if we love ourselves (our true authentic selves), forgive ourselves, and honor ourselves for trying our best, that is what they will allow themselves to do for their very own selves. What is more important than that?
I want you to give yourself your award today. You get up every day and you try so hard. You work really hard at what you do, and yet you are your own worst critic. Why not try being your own best award giver, versus your own best roaster? The Heavens above clap for you every single day. There are so many angels above and angels on Earth who think that you are just divine, and courageous and amazing and brave and all together wonderful. Believe them. Give yourself the award. Pause in its glory and then go out, with your head held high. You deserve nothing less. (and don’t forget to award others around you for all of the goodness that they bring to your life, too. Let’s make it “Awards Day” every day!!)
“Recognition is not a scarce resource. You can’t use it up or run out of it.” – Susan M. Heathfield
“People work for money but go the extra mile for recognition, praise and rewards.” – Dale Carnegie
“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.” – Mother Teresa
“There are two things people want more than sex and money: recognition and praise.” – Mary Kay Ash