Tag: anniversary

Soul Sunday

Welcome to poetry day on the blog. I recently discovered the poems of Jane Hirshfield. She says this about poetry:

“I don’t think poetry is based just on poetry; it is based on a thoroughly lived life.” – Jane Hirshfield

Sheep
Jane Hirshfield

It is the work of feeling
to undo expectation.

A black-faced sheep
looks back at you as you pass
and your heart is startled
as if by the shadow
of someone once loved.

Neither comforted by this
nor made lonely.

Only remembering
that a self in exile is still a self,
as a bell unstruck for years
is still a bell.

And this poem below is my own. (Write a poem today, yourself. It will deeply remind you of your own thoroughly lived life.)

Ash – wholly by me

Ash, you were born at a time that I felt a little lost,

And you came out of me, to bring me back to me.

You’re brave and curious and quirky and true,

you’ve helped me to process life and loss and love,

and the everyday banal humming,

along with the unimaginable events,

all of the usual and unusual matters that accumulate,

to make up measured time,

Five years of my lifetime.

Thank you for these five insightful, meaningful, awakening years, Ash.

Thank you for bringing me beautiful witnesses with their own wisdom.

Thank you for being a gentle holder of me and my own posterity.

Thank you for the purpose you give to me in the morning,

And the anticipation that you gift to me when I lie down to sleep.

Thank you for being my playground and my mirror and my muse.

I love you, Ash. Happy Birthday. May there be many more.

******Today is the five year anniversary of Adulting – Second Half (Ash). Thank you for your presence, and your attention, and your precious time, and your loyalty. Thank you for being a part of it all. It means the world. – Kelly

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Long Marriage

Happy 28th wedding anniversary to my best friend, my lover, my favorite person in the world. I treasure everything which we have created together – most specifically our family and the memories of incredible adventures, throughout our years together.

I know that happy, long marriages are rare and I am grateful to be in one of those long, happy marriages. I met my husband when I was 18 years old, the first weekend of my freshman year in college. For the most part, we have been together ever since. (We had a few youthful dramatic break-ups, during the college years – we are both hot-headed fire signs.)

If a young person would ask me what it takes to create a long, happy marriage, I would say that it takes two people who are fully committed to making that creation of “long and happy” happen. I would tell the young person that it takes two people who are willing to put long, happy, solid marriage, above every other individual goal in their lives. I would tell a young person who is thinking about getting married that you must come to an acceptance of who your partner is, and love them wholly. Do not try to change your partner. Focus on the parts that you love and admire about your partner, and notice how you complement each other. In my marriage, my husband’s strengths cover for my weaknesses, and vice versa. I would tell the young person thinking about marriage, to be with someone who can weather through the tough times because long marriages go through their fair share of storms. That’s just the way of life. When picking a life partner, always go with solid, not glittery. Solid withstands storms, whereas glitter flies away in the wind. Most importantly, I have always been eternally grateful for my husband’s steadfast, lifelong commitment to me and to our family. He gave me his life to share with me. This is the greatest gift anyone has ever given to me. I will never, ever take this gift for granted. My husband is “my person.” And I am “his person.” If our children end up in marriages like ours, I will sleep peacefully forevermore.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Friday Love

Love Friday Pictures, Photos, and Images for Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Twitter

Good morning! Today is my favorite day of the week, not just because it is Friday, but because it is also our 27th wedding anniversary. I share a passionate, loyal, understanding, caring, dedicated love with my husband, the love of my life. I am incredibly grateful for the love and the life which we share. We have gone through many ups and downs, and all arounds, in our shared life experiences, but through it all, we have always been, and we will always be each other’s yin and yang. We fit together really well. I love you forever, J. Happy Anniversary!

Typically on Fridays, I list three favorite things or songs or websites or books, etc. and I strongly encourage you to list your favorites in my Comments section. Please check out previous Friday listings for more favorites. (some “favorites” might be good Christmas gift ideas). That being said, during these last two months, our youngest son’s epilepsy has been kicking our butts. (Don’t worry, we’re still in the fighting ring. We’re just a little beat up and bloodied right now. We will prevail!) So, today, I’m quite literally “listless.” That being said, one of my dearest friends, texted this excellent, life-saving tip to our friend group this week and I wanted to make sure that you, my beloved readers, have it, for your safety file. Here is my favorite tip of the week:

Have a wonderful and fun and thrilling (and safe) Halloween weekend, friends! Thank you for being here for me and having my back. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

One Year Anniversary

Green and Brown Garden

Today is a very special day at Adulting – Second Half. Today is the one year anniversary of this blog. One year ago, I started this blog on a whim (and honestly, probably my way to process some grief). My husband and I had just dropped our eldest son at his first adult apartment, about to embark on his first, real adult job. He was officially off of our payroll, and officially at the beginning of a whole new path for himself, a path in which we would now be mostly bystanders and adoring fans, waving from the sidelines. I realized, particularly in that moment, that I was nearing the end of a major path in my own life. My Adulting – First Half had been on this wide path of child rearing, focused on raising our four children to independence, for a long while now. The path has sometimes been smooth, sometimes rocky, and up and down hills and mountains. The path has been sometimes clear with breath-taking views of gorgeous horizons. The path has sometimes been foggy and the path has even run into some big storms, here and there. Even still, my Adulting – First Half road has been a beautiful, miraculous journey, a path that I have never regretted taking.

My eldest son had reached our united path’s finish line and our three other children, dutifully always following their eldest brother, like “ducks in a row” (as I have always insisted), are nearing that finish line at a clip pace, as well. And therefore, so am I.

I want you to know how grateful I am, to all of you, for your support, your kindness and your validation, as I have dared to take steps into my new path, my Adulting – Second Half path. In some ways, I suspect that this path is a path that will help me to find ways back to parts of myself that I had long forgotten even existed. And that is scary and exciting, all at the same time. The best part of writing this blog, is the realization that as I embark on a new path in life, and probably at lot of little side paths and stop offs along the way, I am not alone. None of us are alone. Thank you for being such a beautiful, comforting reminder of that fact.

With heads held high, and hearts wide open, forward march . . . . . .

A True Love Story

When I first decided to start my blog, I thought that I mainly should keep it to being about my own thoughts about this transitional middle stage time in my life.  I feel that my family’s and friends’ privacy is important, and I try only to mention them anecdotally, as it relates to my own experiences.  So, on my 24th wedding anniversary, which is today, how do I protect the privacy of the most important, meaningful relationship in my life and yet still express everything that this day means to me and more importantly, everything that my husband means to me?  There aren’t really words that can fully convey the blessing that it is, to be married to my best friend, my soulmate, my lover, my life partner, “my person.”

When Gwyneth Paltrow asked her father how he and her mother had such a long, successful marriage, he said that they never wanted to be divorced at the same time.  I remember years ago, being at a wedding and watching this elderly couple dancing with each other, gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes.  I was so enchanted, I sauntered up to them and asked them what the secret was, to their long, happy marriage.  They said, “Oh, we’re not married, honey.  We just started dating.”

People are always wanting to know the secret formula for everlasting love.  My husband and I were out celebrating our anniversary at a lovely restaurant this past Saturday.  The man who brought us our bread wished us “Happy Anniversary” and asked how many years we have been married.  When we said we have been married for 24 years, he looked utterly amazed.  He said, “Twenty-four years, Wow!  I can’t string together 24 months in a relationship.”

I wish I could explain “the secret formula” to having a long, successful, happy marriage.  Just like all the centenarians who give conflicting advice on the secret of having a long life, I’m not really sure that there is just one answer, or just one way.  I just feel incredibly blessed and lucky and thankful that the formula my husband and I have created, works for us.  I’m totally in love with my husband.  I love the life we have created together and I’m so grateful for the many life adventures we have shared.  I cherish our family.

When we were in a lovely hotel one time, my husband took a picture of a saying, hanging up on the wall and he texted it to me.  It said, “A True Love Story Never Ends”.  I hope that our love story never ends, because our love is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me in my life. Our love has brought forth everything that I hold dear in my life.  Happy Anniversary, my love.  Thank you for everything!