Tortured Artists

“Putting a creation into the world is asking to be understood and loved. The answer is not always yes.” – Allison Moorer

Allison Moorer is a country singer and song writer, but she is also an amazing memoirist. Shelby Lynne, also a country singer, is her sister. I recently read Allison Moorer’s memoir, Blood, which describes the tragedy of her alcoholic father shooting the girls’ mother, and then himself, in their front yard, when both ladies were still teenagers. It was a hard, emotional read, but Moorer’s writing is so pure and fearless and insightful. I enjoyed the book, immensely, despite its devastating content.

In an interview, Moorer claims that she would have been an artist, even if she hadn’t come from such a dysfunctional background, but the art would have been different. She says this: “I don’t think my art would have had as many teeth as it does. I don’t think you have to necessarily suffer to make great art, but the truth is that most great art is born of it.”

It is Aldous Huxley, the author of A Brave New World, who is credited with the idea that all great art is born of suffering. And there are so many examples to support that idea. When I was in college, I took an Art History class. The professor kept us enticed, by promising the class, that if we first paid attention to the artists’ various styles, techniques and designs, she promised to give us the dish on their crazy, dramatic, and often depressing life stories. The stories which she told us, about the various artists’ lives were much more interesting, than any soap opera that we were hoping to hurry home to watch. As Mark Twain said, “Truth is stranger than fiction.”

I have given this idea of great art being tied to suffering, a lot of thought. There is no one whom I know, who has never suffered any heartache. There might be degrees of heartache, different levels of heaviness which we could put up for debate, but in the end, pain is pain. And pain is a part of living a life. It seems to me, that many artists, whether fearless or compulsive, have a drive to explore their pain, in order to make something beautiful and meaningful, come out of it. I don’t think that the great artists, and singers, and writers and other creatives necessarily suffer more than anyone else does. It’s just that they aren’t afraid to explore that suffering. When we open ourselves up to reach in and to pull out our deepest creativity, we also offer up to the world, our most profound vulnerability. And that is terrifying. What is more naked than the total baring of your soul?

I have painful experiences which have occurred in my life that I don’t choose to write about. They’re too hot to the touch. I may never write about certain elements of my life and that’s okay. But I’d be incredibly naive to think that my writing, my expressing, and my overall “being” doesn’t have any sparks and tears and echoes of all of my own life’s experiences, even the heaviest, heartbreaking ones.

I don’t think that all great artists can be lumped in as hypersensitive, addiction-riddled depressives, with wrecked up lives. I honestly think that our greatest artists are among the bravest people in the world. They aren’t afraid of the truth. They have nothing to prove to anyone. Oftentimes, great artists are alchemists who go full into their pain, with a strong desire to make something beautiful, enduring, and universally understood, out of their own deepest, inner turmoil. And we all benefit greatly from their courageous attempt to transform their pain into love, as a gift from themselves that they generously and boldly share with the world. We have museums, and libraries, and record charts, and theaters filled with people’s deepest expressions of their fullest selves, and we treasure these gifts. These treasures are reminders of the force of creativity, that is the true essence of all that is.

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Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Little Things

So yesterday, I walked along the side of my house (which is something that I rarely do). My next door neighbor’s older relative was splashing around in their pool.

“I just couldn’t resist this fabulousness!” she said with a wide, wide grin on her lovely face.

I pondered on the fact that I can’t remember the last time that I have swum in our own pool. Not everyone has the ability to swim outside in late October and sadly, I have long lost sight of that fact. It was interesting to me that it was our neighbor’s relative who was swimming. Our neighbors, like us, are from the North and I remember when they first moved here, they swam all of the time, day and night. It reminded me of when we first moved to Florida. The novelty of having a pool in your own backyard that could be used year round, was such a joy! Such an amazement! Then the exciting novelty wore off, for all of us, except for our Labrador retriever.

When I took the dogs out the other day, as part of our regular routine, my Collie, laid down in the grass, firmly and stubbornly. She kept her long, regal nose up in the air, just daring me to tell her to come in. I acquiesced. I sat down beside her and before long, I had buried my own nose into her warm, beautiful, sweet-smelling, sun-baked fur. It was one of my favorite moments of the week, so far.

My friend texted pictures of the beautiful autumn leaves at a waterfall site outside of a small town in Georgia, where she is visiting. They were beautiful pictures. I miss experiencing the gorgeous changing leaves of fall, yet when I lived up North, I think I grumbled more about raking the leaves, then savoring the awe-striking colors. I think that I may have taken the Northern autumns for granted sometimes.

There is so much to savor in every day, that we sometimes take so much for granted. Sometimes, we don’t miss a lot of these simple joys, until they are gone, I suppose.

I met with one of the girls who I mentor, yesterday. She was talking about visiting her family’s lovely farm in Columbia, a while ago. She talked about the gorgeous, stately horses and the dogs of many sizes and colors, and the orange juice drinking chickens. She talked on and on, with a sparkle in her eyes and excitement in her voice. She talked about picking vividly colored guavas from the trees and how amazing that they tasted. She has never had better juice, than the guava juice they made from those trees.

“When will you go back?” I asked her.

“I can’t. They sold the farm for money and they now live in a small apartment in the city.” She and I agreed that she had been so lucky to experience visiting the farm before they sold it. We agreed that memories stay with us forever, and that she was so smart to savor her moments, delighting in the farm experience.

“Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.” – Aldous Huxley

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