In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back. – Albert Camus
Like so many others, I was deeply disheartened yesterday to read about the death of Stephen Boss, aka tWitch, the brilliant dancer and television personality. He died by suicide, leaving behind a loving wife and three beautiful children. In the last year or so, our own extended family has lost two loved ones to suicide. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been affected by the suicide of someone. Suicide is more common than we want to believe.
Depression doesn’t discriminate and it takes an incredibly dark depression for someone to start dancing with the ideation of suicide. Yet, people can be clever in hiding their depression. Stephen Boss was living a supposed “dream life.” Appearances can be deceiving.
I’ve always hated the focus on “appearances.” How do things look? What will people think? Yet I am as guilty of this as anyone else. The other day, I found myself thinking, “Thank goodness that the outside of the house is decorated for Christmas. No one will know that we don’t even have our tree up yet.” Blech. Who cares? The thought is, “As long as the outside looks good, nobody will know the turmoil that goes on in the inside.” We spend way too much time, and energy on the outsides/appearances of ourselves and others, instead of loving, and healing and focusing on the insides of ourselves, and connecting to the deepest, most authentic essence of others.
How do we prevent more suicides? It is such a deep and troubling question. There may not be an easy answer, but we can always be kind. We can always be observant. We can remind ourselves, and we can remind others that the clouds always, always pass. Our true selves, our essence, our souls are NOT our thoughts. Our true selves can observe our thoughts, just like we can observe physical sensations happening in our bodies. We can notice that our thoughts always pass on, like clouds in the sky. Our true essence is the vast, peaceful, still, timeless blue sky and the clouds (thoughts, happenings, feelings) always pass on through. The key is to hold on to the vision of being the still, serene, blue sky of awareness that is the truest, realest part of each of us – the unchanging part of each of us that connects us all.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.